Page 109 of Merciless

Ignoring his presence, I step toward the toilet.

“Here,” he says, getting closer, “I brought this for you to wear.”

Fabric covers my head for a beat before it falls around me.

Looking down, I find one of JD’s wife beaters. Not exactly the warmest thing he could offer up, seeing as they like to keep this cell like a fridge, but whatever. It’s better than nothing. And, I won’t admit it to him, but it smells like heaven.

“Thank you,” I whisper before continuing to the toilet.

His attention burns into me as I pee, but I’m long past caring. He’s seen worse. What’s a little pee between captive and captor anyway?

I finish up and wash my hands before walking toward him.

I don’t stop until I’m standing right in front of him. The warmth from his skin burns into me, but I ignore it as I glare up into his bright blue eyes.

“I hate you, Julian Dempsey. I suggest you turn around and walk straight back out that door. I don’t want or need you here. Go and find another toy to play with.”

I walk away before he has a chance to respond, grabbing the pen and notepad he got for me, I lower myself to the cot, fold my legs beneath me and open it.

“Is it still Thursday?” I ask, hating that maybe I do actually need him.

“No. It’s Friday.”

“Great,” I mutter, pulling the cap off the pen and writing the date at the top of the page.

“Shit, I didn’t realize it was a school day,” he teases.

My body tenses, but I don’t give him any other kind of reaction.

“Okay, so I’ll just go then, shall I?”

Silence.

“Okay, well… enjoy.”

He’s slow to leave, but if he thinks he’s getting anything else out of me then he can think again. I might be grateful for his shirt, but that’s about it.

The second the door slams and the locks engage, I start writing.

Dear Diary,

It’s been a week since I’ve been able to get my thoughts out.

A week where I’ve needed to vent more than I have in a very long time.

I fucked up.

I knew I had, and I knew things were going to get worse for me because of it. But I couldn’t see any other way.

I was selfish to stay here.

When he asked me to marry him on my eighteenth birthday, I should have turned him down and walked away.

It was what I always dreamed about. Turning my back on Harrow Creek and all the monsters who lived there.

But I’d discovered that one of them was anything but a monster.

From that very first day, despite my best intentions, I started falling in love with him.

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