Page 16 of Merciless

All I managed to do was add even more reasons to the already very long list of reasons as to why I loathe Victor Harris.

“Think what you like, Pet.” Pushing from my cot, he stands to his full height again, gazing down with an unreadable expression on his face. “Is there anything you need?” he asks, confusing the shit out of me.

“Uh… yeah, I’m starv—”

I slam my lips shut the second his laughter rings out around the room.

“Right,” I mutter. “And here I was thinking you had a humane bone in your body. Silly me.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you starve. I need you alive for all the fun things I have planned.”

Before I get a chance to argue, he’s gone. The ominous slam of the heavy door echoes through the air, leaving me alone once again.

Sliding down the bed, I wrap my arms around myself once more and close my eyes.

Everything Reid just warned me about is true.

He’s going to use every tool at his disposal—literally—to force my secrets from my lips.

I knew that going into this job, and I sure as shit know it now.

I can’t help but wonder if deep down, really, really deep down, the broken and scared little girl wants me to confess. Wants me to finally spill all the atrocities of her past, of the abuse, the pain, the suffering she endured long before she was old enough to understand it.

Emotion burns up the back of my throat, making my nose itch and my eyes water as I think of that little girl.

Looking back now, it’s hard to believe we’re the same person. Back then, I was so naïve, so innocent. It didn’t take long for it all to shatter to pieces.

After Mom left, all I wanted to do was look after my little sister. Protect her in a way only a big sister can. I just had no idea what I’d have to endure to try and keep that innocent glint in her eyes and a smile on her lips.

I’d have gladly continued too if she hadn’t been ripped away from me. I’d do anything to protect her, just like I’d do anything to have her back.

Just an hour. A day. Anything to get the chance to tell her how much I love her.To let her know that I never forgot her. Never stopped fighting for her.

Reaching up, I grab the length of my hair and begin braiding the end like she used to. It only makes the lump clogging my throat grow until I can barely suck in a breath.

No sounds leave my lips as my tears finally slip from the corners of my eyes, running down my temples and soaking into my hair.

Silently, I cry for everything I’ve lost. For everything I’ve been forced to walk away from. For the man who cared enough to swear his life to protect me but doesn’t care enough to give all of himself to me.

I lie there until my hair is soaked with tears and my eyes are sore. I hate myself for it. I hate being so weak and so easily broken down by my past.

What I need to do right now is focus. I need to focus on the job at hand and figure out a way to get out of here. If that’s even a possibility.

I mean, I’m still alive, so there’s a chance, right?

I could already be dead and thrown into Reid’s furnace, or chopped up into tiny pieces and fed to a pen full of hungry pigs. Or whatever other creative ways he has to dispose of a body unnoticed. I bet he’s got a whole load of tricks up his sleeves. His body count is large enough to suggest he can be creative when he wants to be.

I guess it helps that the majority of people who fall victim to his deadly ways are scumbags who deserve it. Something I do not have in common with them. I might be broken, tarnished, and poisoned by my past. But I am not a bad person.

Despite what Kane, Letty, Reid, and anyone else might think. Deep down, I’m just a broken little girl desperate for freedom, for love, and for acceptance. Not because anyone feels sorry for me.

At some point, I cry myself to sleep, but my reality never leaves. Not really. Instead of drifting off into a peaceful slumber, I fall headfirst into one of my darkest, most terrifying nightmares. I wake numerous times over the next few hours screaming in fear, my body dripping in a cold sweat.

But no one comes. Not that I expected them to.

You did this to yourself, you stupid bitch.

Time to deal with the consequences.

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