Page 67 of Mr. Big Shot

I get my answer, later, in the restroom. I’m fixing my dress, about to open the stall door and head out to wash my hands when I hear someone talking.

“I just think it’s weird how much time she spends with Hudson.”

“You know they work out together. Dilan says he sees them in the gym all the time.”

“Yeah, he told me. Did you see her following after him like a lost puppy at the holiday party?”

“Oh my gosh, yes! She didn’t even try to hide it. It’s so obvious she’s sleeping with him! Or trying to more like—I doubt he’d go there. He doesn’t seem like the type to make that mistake.”

“Not for someone like her! Are you kidding?”

I feel sick listening to these women gossip about the two of us. Without seeing their faces, I can’t confirm, but I’m pretty sure it’s Makayla and Ramona, Kendra’s best friends. Kendra might have started to thaw out before the holidays, but her friends never came around at all. They still shoot me annoyed looks in the food court and during meetings. If I cross paths with them in the hall or if I happen to forget my place and accidentally speak in their presence, they make it very clear they want nothing to do with me. In return, I’ve given them a wide berth. Now, I’m extra glad I did because clearly, they super suck!

First of all, I wasn’t following Hudson around at the holiday party like a lost puppy! He and I spent most of the night talking to Lucy, and then at one point, Hudson chatted with my mom, which was hilariously funny because she was pretty slack-jawed at how handsome he was and when he walked away, she said, “That man,” all exasperated and with a southern accent for some reason. I wasn’t even offended on behalf of my father because I KNOW, MOM. I KNOW.

Beyond that, well yes, unfortunately the rest is true, more or less. I have spent a lot of time with Hudson and I have opened myself up to gossip and ridicule. While it’s not actually against company policy to date coworkers, it’s still not encouraged, especially considering Hudson is my superior. No matter how we’d gone about it, us being together was going to invite a lot of commentary, good and bad.

Of course these women don’t actually know the truth. They don’t know we only slept together for the first time over the weekend. They’re being nasty and hateful based on nothing but speculation. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make me feel better. They’ve managed to hit their mark beautifully.

Their assessment of how things look between Hudson and me only frays my emotions that much more. Even with everything going on between us, my initial worry isn’t about how complicated these allegations might make my work life; it’s about whether or not this will get back to Hudson. This might affect the promotion he’s so desperate for, and I’d never forgive myself for that. Hudson is the hardest working attorney at this office by a mile.

So I fling my bathroom stall door open and walk directly toward Makayla and Ramona, who, by the time I reach them, have stopped talking and are just staring dumbly at me.

“Excuse me.” I indicate the soap dispenser Makayla is blocking like, You mind?

She opens and closes her mouth, guppy style, but she doesn’t apologize to me. Maybe she’s playing naive about the whole thing.

Makayla looks to Ramona. Ramona looks to Makayla. Makayla laughs, and then they flee the bathroom about as fast as Hudson fled from my apartment.

When they’re gone, I lean over the counter and try not to throw up from all the adrenaline. I can’t look up and meet my own eyes. It’ll zap the last bit of courage I’m working with at the moment, and we’re talking about a microscopic amount here. It could dissolve at any minute and then what? How will I possibly finish this work day?

My eyes cut to my trembling hands gripping the side of the counter. I try to take a deep breath. It helps, so I do it again, slower this time. I concentrate on the sound of air leaving my lungs as my vision softens, then blurs.

After I leave the bathroom, I go straight to my office. The second I walk through the door, I look at Kendra despite every instinct telling me not to. She rolls her eyes, answering every question I needed answered.

I want to go right over and snatch the untouched coffee cup from her desk, but I withstand the urge, instead taking a seat behind my desk and willing myself not to cry. I end up having to YouTube a bunch of cute videos of dogs just to get through the initial ten minutes of panic. But can you imagine? Me breaking down in front of Kendra? I’d rather step on a nail.

I see Hudson for the first time at the end of the work day. When I walk out of my office to head toward the elevators, he’s in the hall talking to Sophie. I see him, freeze for the quickest instant, and then breezily continue on, brushing past him without saying a word. Every hair on my body stands at attention, begging me to look back, but I resist like a champ.

“Scarlett, did you finish that second draft for me?” Sophie asks just when I think I’m in the clear.

Ugh.

I squeeze my eyes closed, take a deep breath, and then turn with a perfect smile. “I did, but I was going to glance over it one more time at home before I send it back to you. I’ll have it back no later than 8:00 p.m., if that’s okay?”

She nods in approval. “That’s fine. Thanks.”

Hudson watches this entire exchange, his eyes fixed on me. I don’t look at him once before turning on my heels and heading toward the elevators.

It feels wonderful until it doesn’t. That comedown happens so fast my shoulders actually slump. By the time I kick my apartment door closed, I feel utterly defeated.

Moira senses how little fight I have left in me. She doesn’t even swat me away when I try to pet her head. She just sits there, probably thinking I’m pathetic, but at least I get the comfort of touching her for my allotted three seconds.

“Hungry?”

She meows, and I get to feeding her. Then I shower and put on my softest pajamas and text my trainer to see if it’d be possible for him to rework me into his schedule again. It’s not ideal, but if I leave the office around dinnertime and get in a session with him at his gym, I could work from home afterward to maintain my billable hours and not have to bump into Hudson in the Elwood Hoyt gym anymore. It’s the only way forward.

The next day, there are flowers sitting on my desk when I walk in. I don’t even know what to think when I first see them sitting there, an overwhelming mixture of green hydrangeas and pink peonies that must have cost the sender a fortune, that’s for sure. I frown as I step closer and inspect them.

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