Page 53 of Mr. Big Shot

“Forget it.”

“Scarlett, I swear.”

She turns around too fast, her pouty act gone in an instant. She’s gleeful she got her way, and I’m sitting here in the driver’s seat knowing I got fully played, not even all that bitter about it. She owns me.

“What did you say this is about?” I ask, missing my right turn on purpose so I can add five minutes to our drive. She notices but doesn’t say anything. Soon, I’ll be driving us out of the state just for the pleasure of being in her company.

“My Jasper problem.”

I look over at her, surprised. “Is he a problem?”

“Not in the way you might be thinking. Don’t start cracking your knuckles. Just his comment…”

“I thought we addressed the comment.”

“We did, and believe me, what you said in the boxing ring a while back was very thoughtful and I haven’t forgotten it. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“You had to say it.”

I nearly drive the car off the road. “I had to?”

“Yes because you’re nice—”

“NICE?!”

“One of the nicest people I know, yes.”

Oh geez. Maybe I did drive my car off the road a second ago and this is the afterlife or something. That’s the only explanation for this strange conversation.

I laugh and sputter. “That’s not why I said it.”

She waves her hand in a circle like, Yeah, yeah. Maybe I wasn’t explicit enough two weeks ago. I should have gone into greater detail about all the ways she would never, could never bore me in bed.

“Anyway, I know how you can really help me. And here it goes. I want you to have sex with me for a grade.”

I tilt my head like a curious chihuahua. “You want me to—what now?”

“Have sex with me and critique me.”

“Critique the sex?”

She’s so matter-of-fact about it. “Yes, I want a letter grade, A+, A-…B… If that doesn’t prove exhaustive enough, I’m open to number grades too, that way you can be more precise.”

Oh thank god, we’re back at her apartment now. I don’t have to entertain this absurd idea for one more second.

“Scarlett, get out of my car.”

She throws her hands up. “I said you couldn’t make your decision now!”

“Too bad, I have.”

“See? I knew you would be too narrow-minded about this.”

“HR.”

It’s a full-stop sentence.

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