Page 40 of Unrealistic Expectations

They hadn’t been able to hang out since the morning after the night at his house. He’d never had a more perfect Sunday than the one she spent in his bed, on his kitchen counter, and later on his couch. He hadn’t wanted her to leave, but he also hadn’t wanted to scare her by begging her to stay forever.

And he’d thought she felt the same way about their time together. Everything she’d done and said had pointed in that direction before she’d left. And they’d talked on the phone and via text since then. Until Wednesday.

“Did something happen on Wednesday?”

She gasped, and he figured that he was right.

“Tell me.” It had to be something awful, or she wouldn’t be acting like this. His Jessica was clear-eyed and forthright. She had problems and pushed through them. She didn’t react to a bump in the road by shutting down and shutting out the people who cared about her. Unless this was bigger than a bump in the road or she didn’t count him among the people who cared about her?

“I hit the Times bestseller list,” she said, as though it wasn’t the biggest deal in the world and the thing she’d been working for.

“That’s a good thing, right?” He was so confused, and that was one thing he’d never experienced with Jessica. He’d spent a lot of time over the past five days thinking about all the reasons why he wasn’t ready to run away from Jessica. Apparently, she was figuring out strategies to push him away.

“It is.” Finally, she spoke. “It’s just that there’s going to be more attention on the both of us now, and I don’t know that it’s the kind of attention that will help you.”

One thing that he’d learned over the month he’d been dating Jessica was that he didn’t give as much of a fuck about what people thought about him as he’d thought. Sure, he might need to work harder to prove his chops professionally if he wasn’t dating influencers and starlets who would promote him and pass his name around. But that would be worth it if he could be with Jessica.

He just wasn’t sure he could be with her.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

Jessica sighed. “No. I don’t—I don’t want that.”

“Well, then. What is it?” He chuckled, even though nothing about this was at all humorous. “You’re supposed to be the great communicator.”

She looked at him then. “I’m not as good at a lot of things as I thought I was.”

“You’re good at everything you try. But a relationship with someone who has a personality is new for you, and you have to try kind of hard. That’s okay. You’re getting the hang of it.”

She scowled at his condescending tone, but at least he got a reaction. Her sort of blankness had really scared him.

“There’s this feature writer who is doing an article. She wants to talk to me about her topic, and I’m afraid that you’re going to come up.”

“I’m your PR boyfriend. Of course I’m going to come up.” He was still confused by her reaction to all of this good news. “Are you having a hard time with all the attention?”

She shrugged. “Kind of. I had to move around some standing appointments next week so I could be on some of the national morning shows.”

He reached over and grabbed her thigh. She didn’t tense up or tell him to take his hand off her, so he left it there. “This is all great news. Tell me why it has you so upset. I just want to help.”

“The article is called ‘The New Toxic Bachelors,’ and Abby is worried that you’ll get smeared. One of the reasons that the writer wants to talk to me—besides the bestselling book with the wild title—is that I’m dating you.” Jessica sounded wrecked, as though she’d been worrying about this since she heard the news.

Galvin had been humiliated on Instagram and on a couple of dumb gossip blogs and podcasts, but this was a feature in one of the few glossy publications left. This would do great things for Jessica’s book sales, and it would probably get her a contract for a new book. But she was more worried about how it would affect him. He didn’t know what being in love felt like—not as an adult—but he was worried that the warm feelings he was having over her attempts to protect him might be it.

“Listen, even if they do, I’m not sure that a few hundred thousand more people thinking that I’m utter trash in bed is going to make a difference. I’ve done and said things in relationships that I regret, but I’m not in those relationships anymore. I need you to do what’s right for you and not worry about me.”

They pulled up to the valet stand, and his anxieties about being around his parents came up. Those overpowered any concerns he had about Jessica’s newfound notoriety making his life more difficult.

“I just don’t want you to see me as a liability.” He didn’t unlock the doors right away, because Jessica still seemed on the verge of bolting. The idea of never seeing her again made him feel like someone had taken a vegetable peeler to the surface of his heart. It was a raw and open wound that he felt just thinking about the possibility of her walking away from him.

He’d avoided this kind of base vulnerability for decades. He hadn’t wanted it, and he’d pushed back at anyone who got too close for a long time. But he wouldn’t give up the taste of Jessica’s delicious kisses or the way she looked at him over her morning coffee for feeling like his heart was intact inside his chest.

His life had been busy, but empty. The debacle with Kennedy had forced him to stop and look around. And Jessica had made him realize that there was something in the world that he wanted more than proving his parents wrong about his choices. There was a kind of fulfillment to be found when there was someone who had your back.

And it couldn’t have been anyone other than Jessica. Maybe because they’d started out as friends, and she didn’t believe all the stories swirling around him. Maybe because she was trained to see the things behind what people said about themselves. Or maybe it was just because she was his perfect complement.

He wanted to say so much to her in this moment, but he had a feeling that spilling the full depth of his feelings for her now would cause her to run away.

“Let’s just get through dinner—”

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