Page 59 of Unrealistic Expectations

“I know.” She wouldn’t let herself forgive him right now. She’d forgiven her mother countless times, and Laurie had used that forgiveness as a weapon against her. She’d taken that forgiveness and treated it like it was a debt that Jessica owed her. But Jessica now realized that forgiveness should have been a gift she’d given herself along with boundaries to keep her heart safe in the future.

If she and Galvin had a future, he had to learn from this. He couldn’t be a dillweed again. And he had to understand that her anger at Luke had nothing to do with how she felt about him.

“It’s true we have some stuff to work through, but I know how much this means to you. I don’t want you to think that I fucked up because of anything you did. You know what you’re doing. You’re brilliant, and what happened between us has no impact on what your book has to offer—what you have to offer.”

“I know that, Galvin.” She wouldn’t reveal to him how kind but unnecessary it was for him to show up and tell her all these things. And she didn’t want to let him know how much it touched her that he’d flown here to do it. He could have apologized later, when she returned to L.A. But she didn’t have that kind of charity in her at the moment. It would be smart for her to guard her heart a little now and then. “I’m a professional grown-up, and I can do my job without you checking on my feelings.”

She immediately felt guilty for snapping at him, but she didn’t apologize or backtrack. She didn’t even wince.

“I guess I deserve that.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.” He shook his head and looked down at his shoes. “Do you want me to leave?” He pointed at the door, and she considered whether she did want him to leave. The moment she asked herself the question, she knew the answer.

—

Galvin waited for her to kick him out of the greenroom. He probably shouldn’t have shown up at all, but once he’d arrived in the city, he couldn’t stay away. And seeing her now, even though she was nearly unrecognizable in the amount of makeup the studio had applied, he was just happy to be in the same room.

He didn’t want to ruin what should be a great day for her, so he would leave if she asked him to. But he hoped that she would let him stay and maybe take her out to lunch after the segment. If he plied her with soft cheeses, she might put him out of his misery. They might still have a shot in hell of making this work.

She didn’t get the chance to answer him, though. A production assistant stuck their head in the door and said, “Thirty seconds.”

Jessica popped up and smoothed the black dress she wore. She looked dynamite, as always. He wanted her, like he would forever. She didn’t look at him as she left the room, but she did say, “Stay.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Please welcome Jessica Gallagher, author of Ten Things Not to Do If You Ever Want to See a Naked Girl Again.” This was a bad idea. It was among the worst ideas that Abby had come up with. More like one of the worst ideas in the history of bad ideas. And having Galvin show up right before she came out was an even worse idea. Seeing him had knocked her off the tenuous balance that she’d found on the way to New York.

Still, she put her most placid smile on and walked out to the table. She was a little intimidated, because she knew that some of the panelists were inclined to disagree with her. But she tried to set that aside. Once she was seated, the audience sounds died down.

“So, why write a dating book for straight men. Are they the ones coming to you for advice?”

It was just like every other first question in every other media interview. She could answer this. “This is definitely a generalization, but it’s the women in heterosexual partnerships who are often seeking the advice and trying to make things work. Society tells them that their value increases when they are attached to a man. I don’t believe that, but I think that men are late to figuring out that their lives are better inside of a committed partnership or attachment of some kind. And that attachment is often stronger if they’re with someone they view as an equal.”

“Is that the reason for the provocative title?”

Perfect. Another question about the book rather than her own relationship status. “My editor thought that a provocative title was the best way to get the book into the right hands, and she was totally correct. But the book is more about finding out what it takes to build a life with someone rather than just how to get them to have sex with you.”

“Your current boyfriend would seem to be the expert on the second thing.”

Jessica had been lulled into a sense of security by the first few questions. She hoped her surprise at the host asking about Galvin didn’t show on her face. And she hoped that her smile looked polite rather than like the smile of a woman contemplating violence. “My current boyfriend does have a reputation.” The audience laughed. Apparently, there was crossover between Kopying Kennedy and The Viewpoint. “But I’m not here to discuss my relationship.”

“Doesn’t your ability to make a relationship work go to your credibility?” Jessica had forgotten that this host was formerly a prosecutor. “Besides, you seem to have whipped him into shape in record time.”

“I’m not sure what you mean by that.”

“You made him live by your rules.”

“I haven’t made him do anything.” Jessica was incensed now. “My book might have a cheeky title and seem prescriptive with a list of rules, but what I’m really trying to get at is that a lot of straight men don’t even really view women as people. I’m trying to meet people where they are and give them tools to change their outlook on romantic relationships. So that they can be more satisfying for everyone involved.”

“I think it’s pretty severe to say that men don’t view women as people.” The conservative host was always going to have a problem with that.

“From my practice, I can tell you that the young women I see view dating as one of the most dehumanizing activities that they participate in.”

“How so?”

Happy to be on more neutral ground with the questioning, Jessica gave this other host a genuine smile. “Well, if you sat where I sit every day, you would hear about men on dating apps and even podcasts making lists of things they want and won’t accept from the women they’re dating that read like laundry lists. They seem to want some sort of sentient blow-up doll to slot into their lives instead of partnership. And it’s not working for them, so they’re not getting into relationships, which frustrates the men, who then join online affinity groups and end up indoctrinated with extreme misogyny and often racist behavior.

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