Page 28 of Unrealistic Expectations

“I’m her boyfriend.” Jessica wasn’t going to think about the warm sensation that washed over her when he said that.

The guy sneered and said, “Figures.”

“It figures that you don’t have anyone who loves you.” That was a pretty low blow, and Jessica was about to stop Galvin when he continued. “I bet you don’t even believe in miracles, do you?”

“What the hell are you talking about, dude?”

“It’s a miracle when two people find each other and see each other clearly at the same time and decide to take a chance on loving each other. Because falling in love is always a chance.” Jessica’s heart leapt when he said that. She could fight her own battles, and she could have talked this guy down. But she liked that he was standing up for her.

“For my wallet—”

“Just shut the hell up. I don’t know why you came here, but if the only thing you have going on in your life is coming to a stranger’s book signing and being a dick, you have bigger problems than whether to pay for dinner.”

Jessica expected the man to say more, but he stood up and walked out of the bookstore. To her surprise, the other audience members clapped. Face flushed and embarrassed, once the crowd died down, Jessica said, “Any other questions?”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The more time he spent with her, the more addicted to her he was. Over the past few weeks, he’d started to text her during the day with jokes and news stories that he knew she would be interested in. And they weren’t even dating for the camera anymore. She listened to him talk about work when he came to cook her dinner and offered solutions when he was dealing with an unreasonable interior designer who wanted him to do something that would compromise the structural integrity of the house they were working on.

And most of the time, neither of them even mentioned the purpose of their relationship—public relations. It felt like a real relationship, and he’d never wanted one of those quite as much.

He was getting out of the shower after hitting the gym on Saturday morning, thinking about how nice it would be if he and Jessica had gone together and could be having shower sex while fighting over where to go for breakfast, when she texted him.

Jessica: 911. Emergency. Need you to come over now.

His heart started beating faster and he walked out of the bathroom with just his phone, but there weren’t any little bubbles indicating that she was going to text him with more detail. What if she was hurt? What if her condo was on fire?

He shook those two thoughts off. She would call the actual 911 if either of those were the scenario. The more likely one was that someone had somehow found out about their arrangement and was going to expose them.

Galvin: What’s going on? Is there something bad in the news about us?

Jessica: Nope. Worse.

He couldn’t really think of many things worse than that that would warrant a distress call to him instead of medical personnel or the fire department, but she didn’t make him wait this time.

Jessica: My mother is here. She is asking about my new boyfriend, and I need to produce you immediately or face the consequences. (She will not leave until she meets you and hits on you.)

Jessica hadn’t talked about her mother or her upbringing that much, but he knew enough to know that it wasn’t so great. She hadn’t mentioned her father at all, and any conversation that touched on her relationship with her mother usually included lots of eye rolls and sighs. And the part about her hitting on him made his stomach hurt.

His parents were exacting and critical, and they persisted in one of the unhappiest marriages of all time because it was good for their co-owned business. But he’d never worried about either of his parents trying to poach a woman he was dating. That was some truly messed-up shit. No wonder Jessica had majored in psychology and then become a therapist. It might have taken that much academic training to figure her own shit out.

And he knew that she didn’t have it all figured out, either. But she was more clearheaded and self-aware than 99.9 percent of the people he knew. If she was panicking because her mother had shown up, her mother must truly be a monster.

The thought of Jessica in distress had him dressing nicely—but not in the jeans that made his butt look the best, in order to avoid any butt pinches from Mrs. Gallagher—and hurrying over to Jessica’s place. He got stuck in traffic, so he was irritated and sweaty by the time he got to her apartment.

He’d very rarely met any girl’s parents, and he’d never been this nervous when he had. Not that many of his girlfriends had even extended the invitation. He’d never been disappointed in that fact before, but with some perspective he realized that it didn’t say great things about him that no one had ever wanted him to meet their family.

But he couldn’t change the past; he could only be there for Jessica in the present moment and hope she wouldn’t judge him by his history. He shook off his nerves and knocked on the door.

He didn’t know what he’d expected from Jessica’s mother, but the woman who opened the door with a pink cocktail in her hand—at eleven a.m. no less—was not it. She was like a white version of Jessica almost, but she looked as though she’d lived a much rougher life. It was classist of him, but she looked like she’d crawled out from under the table at a dive bar, wearing a Def Leppard crop top and daisy dukes that looked like they would need to be surgically removed.

He was terrified.

He must have stood there staring for too long and not in a way that Mrs. Gallagher liked. Her smile faded, and she looked over her shoulder and yelled, “Does this man speak? Please tell me you’re not dating a—”

Jessica slid toward the door, just in time to stop her mother from saying something that he was sure would be truly offensive. “Galvin can speak, but it would be fine if he couldn’t.”

She looked truly frazzled—wild-eyed and fragile at the same time. It made him want to kick this woman out of her apartment and out of her life. He didn’t want anyone who made her feel that way to ever come close to her.

---