Page 16 of Unrealistic Expectations

“You think it’s easy dating as a guy?” Galvin asked. “It’s not easy for anyone, and that’s why I always keep—kept—things light and superficial.”

“Well, that was the before times,” Abby said.

“Would you be nice to him? That video was slander, and people only believed Kennedy because she sells them their favorite detox tummy-tightening tea.”

“Thank you,” Galvin said.

Jessica glared at him. “And you really shouldn’t have been trifling with the feelings of someone young enough to be your daughter from a teen pregnancy.” Curiosity had gotten the best of her, and she’d broken down and Googled Kennedy and the video while Galvin was still passed out on her bathroom floor that morning.

“When you put it that way, I’m disgusted with myself,” he said. From the night before, she knew that he really did want to grow and change with respect to relationships.

“You shouldn’t be, but you should be willing to acknowledge your mistakes and grow from them.”

Abby cut her hands across the air to shut everyone up. When Galvin shut his mouth before responding to Jessica, Abby continued. “Here’s the thing. You both need something that you can get by dating for a little bit and taking some cute Instagram selfies together. You clearly know each other well enough to bicker, and I can make the beginning of your relationship suitably vague, so that no one will ever know that he couldn’t putt a hole in one last night, and you’re only dating to rehab his image and make sure yours doesn’t get ruined.”

“Do you really think it would help?” Jessica was still unsure that dating Galvin would have any impact on her book sales.

“Yeah, if I can spin a story out of it.” Abby seemed a little pissed that Jessica doubted her professional opinion.

“What kind of story?” Why was Galvin so seemingly open to dating her for the ’gram?

Abby tilted her head toward Galvin. “Well, we could say that you did some serious self-examination after Kennedy’s video came out, and really looked at your own behaviors. Then, you ran into your old buddy Jessica one night, and the two of you hit it off. She wasn’t aware of the video, but you told her that you were willing to change how you relate to people. Jessica laid out terms that matched the dating philosophy that she laid out in her book, and you agreed.”

“That doesn’t sound very romantic,” was Galvin’s only response.

For her part, Jessica thought the story made her seem like both a pushover and a prig. “I hate this.”

“It’s a better story than ‘Dating Advice Writer’s Boyfriend Moves Out Because Her Book Doesn’t Work.’ ” Abby had a point, but Jessica truly wished there was another way.

“You know, our college reunion is coming up, and it would truly irritate Luke if we showed up together. He may even try to win you back,” Galvin said.

Jessica was fairly certain that there was nothing Luke could do to win her back. Part of her was relieved that he’d moved out, because she would have married him if he’d asked. And she was starting to think that she wouldn’t have been happy. They’d had a lot going for them for a long time, but just because a relationship met her basic needs didn’t mean that she was optimizing her own happiness.

She’d spent decades not even thinking about happiness, per se, just repairing the damage from her unstable childhood. And maybe that wasn’t any way to live.

Still, she disliked the part of herself that wanted to fake-date Galvin and rub it in Luke’s face—the part of her that would take pleasure in his distress. After all, she’d once loved the guy. Or at least cared about his happiness just as much as her own. She was just upset right now. That kind of time in a relationship didn’t allow for feelings to just flip on a dime, overnight.

Was she only considering this because of Galvin? Because she was truly attracted to him?

That was definitely part of it, but there was more. Part of her had always craved more adventure than she’d ever allowed herself. The same part of her was jealous of her clients, who really put themselves out there and made themselves vulnerable. Not that a fake relationship with Galvin would really make her feel vulnerable. It wouldn’t even truly be an adventure. It would be more like a caper, an escapade. She would be lying to people in hopes that they would buy her book, so that they could have a love life more like hers.

It was not like she would ever fall in love with someone like Galvin. She would never let it get that far. She’d gotten through college without one single crying, screaming, throwing-up breakup. Outside of her hour crying in the shower, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d shed tears other than some empathy crying with a client—which was really more like catching a yawn from someone yawning in your face.

“I don’t know, Abby.” Jessica shook her head. “Wouldn’t it be worse if people realized that we were just dating for the ’gram?”

“Oh, definitely.” Abby never sugarcoated anything, but Jessica could use a little vanilla glaze right now. “That’s why we’re talking short-term, vague beginnings, amicable breakup.”

“If Jessica’s not into this idea—”

Jessica was relieved that Galvin was respecting her boundaries here. Unlike a lot of the guys who dated her clients, he’d been pretty good at that from the beginning. He’d prodded her to talk to him and to broaden her breakfast options, but he hadn’t touched her without permission or presumed that he knew better than she did. If they were truly in a relationship, it would be almost healthy. The fact that he didn’t want to force her into anything made her think that this could possibly work.

“What would Galvin get out of this?” Jessica asked. It seemed like she would get most of the benefit.

“He would get to not be the asshole anymore.” At this, Galvin gave Abby a dirty look, and to him she said, “I mean, Jessica could give you some hands-on lessons out of her book.”

“I think we should do it.” Jessica surprised herself by saying it, but it was true. Carefully planning every aspect of her life hadn’t exactly worked out for her, and this wasn’t truly an adventure—like jumping out of a plane or something—but it might save her a little humiliation. It might even be fun to spend more time with Galvin—sort of like having the fling she could have had in college, but never tried to.

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