Page 12 of Unrealistic Expectations

At this point, it was easier to acquiesce to changing her breakfast routine than it was to keep arguing with him. “Fine.”

—

Galvin looked over at Jessica as she drove them to his favorite breakfast place. He had never met a woman so immune to him—at least, she was immune to him without the disinhibiting effect of tequila shots. Usually when a girl made it clear that she didn’t like him, he moved on. But there was something about Jessica’s prickliness that intrigued him. Especially after last night, when she was all over him. It was probably just repeated exposure, but he couldn’t stop himself from needling her. And, honestly, eggs sounded kind of great. But he wanted them with bacon and pastry to soak up the residual booze in his system.

There was also something so resolute and put-upon about how she was going to make him breakfast that it made him want to get her out of that cold, empty apartment. He didn’t want to feel protective of her. They weren’t close, and she didn’t even seem to like him very much. But he couldn’t choose his feelings.

Jessica drove around the block where the restaurant was located, looking for parking three times before breaking down and using the valet, which he’d suggested the first time they’d driven around the block. So stubborn.

Once they were seated, Jessica looked at the menu, not at him. And he felt guilty for a brief moment. She’d been through a lot in the past seventy-two hours. He knew what it was like to have his life rocked because of something that an ex had done. Maybe he should have left her in her half-empty condo to eat eggs in peace.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and she seemed a little startled to hear him say it. “I shouldn’t have given you a hard time about breakfast.”

“Why not? I know that I’m rigid and stuck to my routine.” She shrugged, and he wanted her to continue. Because, from what he could remember about her, she’d always been the “mom” friend—the one who made sure no one got too drunk or did drugs of uncertain provenance, the one who peeled her friends away from guys who might have had nefarious intentions.

“It’s not a bad thing.” Even though Galvin had a reputation for being sort of a cad, he’d always been a stickler for routine himself. People were always surprised that he was so ruthlessly neat and meticulous, but he’d always been that way.

She looked at him and bit her lip as though she wanted to say something else. Given that she’d only revealed that Luke had broken up with her after a long conversation, he guessed that vulnerability about her personal life was something hard-won. But he wanted that from her. He was comfortable with her, and he wanted her to feel the same way with him. “You’ve always had your shit together, and I’m guessing there’s a reason for that.”

She hesitated for another moment, but he waited for her. Something in his gut told him that whatever she had to say would be worth the wait. “My mom was a total mess when I was growing up.”

“How so?” Now that she’d said one thing, he wanted more. As greedy as she’d been for his touch the night before, he was greedy for her disclosure now.

“She was always hopping from boyfriend to boyfriend, job to job, shitty apartment to shitty apartment. And I felt like I was more of an inconvenience than anything else. I learned not to get too attached to friends, neighbors, teachers—”

“That had to have been so hard.” He, on the other hand, had lived in the same house from the time he came home from the hospital until the time he’d left for the dorm. His life had been so utterly boring as a teenager that he pathologically sought out novelty as an adult. And that was what had gotten him into trouble. “I can see why you’d value stability and common sense over pleasure.”

She looked at him thoughtfully for a beat. “You’re pretty emotionally tuned in for an asshole.”

Galvin laughed. “I’m trying to be less of an asshole these days, but I’m not sure I’m succeeding. I did cajole you into having a meal with me, after all.”

“But I needed it. You saw that I was just going to eat sad eggs and be sad in my house, and you tried to make it better.” The server approached the table and took their drink order. Galvin resented the interruption to whatever Jessica had been about to say. He hadn’t realized that he needed as much of an ego massage as he did.

Luckily, she continued when the server left. “There might be hope for you to become a better boyfriend. I mean, if that’s what you want.”

Before the video, he’d always thought he was a decent boyfriend—as long as the relationship was short-term. But he’d realized in the wake of his public humiliation that he’d been selfish and shallow, and he didn’t like that about himself. He wanted to change, and he wasn’t sure when he’d started to want to change. But looking at Jessica’s face after the server brought over her latte and his black coffee, that desire solidified. She wasn’t the impetus for him wanting to be a better man—she was the confirmation.

“I think I do want that,” he said. “How are you feeling about the whole Luke thing?”

She paused in thought again. He liked that about her. Another thing on the growing list of things that he liked about her. “I’m actually okay. I know that there will be waves of grief and anger, but I’ve realized that Luke and I hadn’t been connected in quite some time.”

Galvin wondered, despite wanting to keep his intentions toward Jessica mostly honorable, if “connection” was code for sex. Because Jessica was incredibly sexy underneath the staid exterior. The way she licked a touch of foam off her lip. The way she moved.

He didn’t even have to think about the way she kissed for his skin to heat. “I hear that’s a problem in most long-term relationships.”

“That’s why it’s important to look for more than just sex in a long-term relationship. I mean, sex is important—especially if you’re monogamous—but you actually have to like the person, too. Or, ideally you would. I know of plenty of couples that sustain their connection through a mix of antipathy and fear of being single. It isn’t healthy, but humans aren’t really designed to do the healthiest thing. We’re mostly just terrified skin bags.”

That made Galvin think of his parents. He’d never understood why they stayed together even though they could barely stand each other. They certainly could have run a business together without staying married. They’d made the right noises about the importance of family while he was growing up, but they weren’t really close.

He didn’t know if it was some kind of misguided loyalty or the fact that they had so much in common when it came to their work. Sometimes, he thought that splitting up would have been too much bother for them. Their lives were too enmeshed for them to untangle, even though they made each other miserable.

“Where did you go?” Jessica’s question jolted him out of his maudlin bullshit thoughts.

“Just thinking about my parents. They don’t really like each other.” He didn’t know why he was telling her the truth now, when he didn’t even have bourbon as an excuse.

Instead of launching into some explanation for how his parents hating each other had fucked him up when it came to relationships and he had to lean into the discomfort, she nodded and looked at her menu. “How many chocolate croissants do you think we should get?”

CHAPTER SEVEN

---