Page 10 of Time to Shine

Landon huffed out a laugh at Dad’s excitement. “It is. It’s surreal. I think I’ll be back in Saskatoon soon, but for now it’s an experience for sure.” He skipped over the question about making friends. He’d never been good at that, but they didn’t need to know it.

“So you don’t think you’ll actually be playing in any Outlaws games?” Mom asked. Landon was sure he could hear relief in her voice. Or maybe he was imagining it.

“Probably not.”

“Saw it was snowing in Calgary this morning,” Dad said.

“Yeah. A bit.”

“We haven’t gotten any snow here yet.”

“Oh. Soon probably.” Landon tried to think of something—anything—interesting to say. “Going to Nashville next. Maybe I’ll see some country stars.”

“Erin would have been so jealous,” Mom said. Another heavy silence fell between the three of them, then she gave a nervous little laugh and said, “Anyway. Nashville’s exciting. Where else are you going?”

“Chicago. Then home. Calgary, I mean.”

“We wish you were coming home,” Dad said. “It would be nice to see you.”

“I know. I miss you guys.” In that moment, he really, really did. He barely ever spent time in Halifax anymore, which he knew was his own doing. He kept busy during the summers, training and taking part in goaltending clinics. He’d spent most of last summer in Minnesota.

He’d been selfish for so long now he didn’t know how to stop.

“I should probably get going,” he said, even though he had nowhere to be at all. He didn’t like the way his heart was turning to lead. “I just wanted to say hi, and, um. Let you know I was okay.”

“We appreciate it,” Dad said. “Be safe. And have fun.”

“We love you,” Mom added.

“Love you too. Bye.” He ended the call, then stared at the empty hotel room. After a moment, he turned the lights off, then sat on the edge of his bed to watch the sun set.

He dug his fingers into his knees and wished he had a goalie mask with him. He knew it was weird, but it settled him sometimes, wearing it.

What would Erin say, if she were here? Would she tease him for being weird? Would she quietly enjoy the sunset with him? Would she urge him to go to the bar with his teammates? It was hard to know, because he could only guess at the adult she would have become. He knew Erin wouldn’t like seeing her younger brother being so mopey, especially after achieving his dream of playing (sort of) in the NHL. She’d always been the sunniest member of the family.

“You think I should go to the bar, don’t you?” he said to her now. “I probably won’t. Sorry.”

Maybe he should go down to the room with the PlayStation and pretend to be normal and fun for a bit. Or maybe he really should take that nap. He’d slept like shit last night.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the door. He stood and went to open it, finding Casey Hicks on the other side. He was wearing black shorts, a T-shirt with a cartoon drawing of an anthropomorphic hot dog on it, and Adidas slides. His hair was loose around his shoulders and looked slightly damp. Landon was still wearing most of his suit from the plane.

“Hey, Stacks! Oh shit. Sorry. Were you asleep?”

Landon turned to look back at the dark hotel room. “No.” He immediately wished he’d said “yes” because that would have made the dark hotel room less weird.

Casey didn’t seem bothered by it. “Cool. So why aren’t you coming out tonight?”

Landon blinked at him. He’d never had to explain his absence at team outings before. His teammates in Saskatoon never expected him to go out. He did, sometimes, when he felt like it, but his default mode was antisocial homebody.

“I don’t know,” is what he finally came up with for an answer.

“Dude. You are so coming out. Mind if I come in for a bit? I’m bored.”

“Uh. Sure.” Landon stepped back and turned on the lights. Casey glided in, immediately kicked off his slides, and threw himself onto West’s bed.

“Where’s Westy?”

“In the PlayStation room.”

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