Page 68 of Time to Shine

He kept staring at the bedsheet while he waited for Casey to reply. And then kept staring when Casey said, “So you’d like to...do something about it?”

Landon felt like his blood was lava. This was such a strange conversation to be having in bed with his roommate. Who he had a crush on. “Not...often. But sometimes, yeah. It would be nice to...get it over with. I guess.” He glanced up quickly at Casey, saw his interested expression, and dropped his gaze back to the mattress. “I wish I was the sort of person who could just...go for it. With someone. Seems like I’m the only one who doesn’t go out looking to hook up with someone. Thinking about doing that...scares me. I don’t want to do it.”

“What if,” Casey said slowly, and Landon’s heart stopped as he waited for the rest of his sentence. “What if you met someone you really liked, in a bar or somewhere? Like, really hit it off. Do you think you could then?”

Landon shrugged the shoulder that wasn’t supporting his weight. “It’s never happened before. I’m not a great conversationalist.” He sighed. “Anyway. It’s not a big deal. I’m not, like, dying to have sex or anything.” This time when he glanced up, he saw the softness in Casey’s eyes, and the slight flush in his cheeks.

Maybe this was that feeling; what everyone else felt when they wanted someone. When they thought they would die if they didn’t get to touch this person, and be touched by them. He didn’t know how far he would want that touching to go, but god he wanted something. Casey’s hair between his fingers, his breath against Landon’s skin. He wanted to kiss his smile.

“I just think,” Casey said quietly, “you’re really awesome.”

And then his fingers brushed against the hand that had been tracing the stripes. Landon wasn’t sure what the gesture meant, but it was so tentative—so considerate—that Landon couldn’t help returning it. For a few electric seconds, their fingers exchanged the gentlest caresses while tingles raced through Landon’s body.

It was too much. It was the barest of physical contact and he couldn’t breathe. He covered Casey’s hand with his own to stop it, and Casey took it as an invitation to flip his hand over and tangle their fingers together.

Casey was staring at him with an expression Landon didn’t recognize; his eyes looked darker than usual, his mouth tighter and more serious.

“Landon,” he said, just above a whisper. Had Casey ever even called him that before? Landon couldn’t remember. He’d definitely never looked at him like this before.

Landon’s heart started racing, suddenly terrified. In a panic, he turned toward the lamp, releasing Casey’s hand. “We should get some sleep. Vegas tomorrow.”

He turned off the light so he wouldn’t have to see Casey’s face. In the dark he heard Casey sigh, and then say, “Okay. Goodnight, Stacks.”

“Goodnight.”

Landon felt like he wouldn’t be able to sleep for hours, if at all. Too many confusing feelings were churning inside him. But as soon as he heard Casey’s steady breathing next to him a few minutes later, he drifted off effortlessly.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Casey’s brain had to be ninety percent Landon thoughts at this point, which sucked because he was trying not to think about him at all. Or at least was trying to only think of him as a teammate, a roommate, and maybe a buddy.

He hadn’t been thinking of Landon that way last night, when they’d been in bed together, basically holding hands. He’d really wanted to kiss him, and maybe...lie on top of him? Like, just be as close as possible to him and not even try to have sex with him. Casey totally would have sex with him, if Landon wanted that. No problem at all. But it wasn’t what he wanted the most with Landon, which was a very new and weird way to feel about someone Casey was attracted to.

Anyway, Casey had fucked things up. His face must have given him away or something because Landon had shut the fucking door on any potential kisses. He’d kind of shut the door on Casey completely, actually. Things had been awkward that morning. Landon had gone right back to barely talking, either at home or during their morning practice. Now they were on a plane to Las Vegas, and Landon was sitting several rows away from Casey, with West.

It fucking sucked.

Casey was sitting with Lee, who had earbuds in and his eyes were closed. Casey was buzzing out of his skin. He really wanted to talk to someone.

He sent his sister a message: im bored

Brooke: Must be nice.

Casey: What did you get mom fr xmas

Brooke: That yoga bag she wants.

Casey: gtfo i bought her that too!!!!

Brooke: Well, you’ll have to return it then.

Casey: y me???

Brooke: Because I probably bought it first.

Dammit. She probably did.

Casey: pls?? i need a win this week has sucked

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