Page 54 of Time to Shine

“Christmas with Dougie Hicks,” Dad said wistfully. “Wait ’til I tell Craig and Bruno. Do you think if I brought my Toronto jersey, that Dougie would sign it?”

Landon smiled, excitement bubbling in his chest at opportunity to give his parents some good memories. “Yeah, Dad. I think he would.”

Mom was smiling now too. “I’ve always wanted to see the Rockies.”

“I haven’t seen them properly yet either,” Landon said. “Just in the distance. I think a cabin in the Rockies at Christmas would be cool, right?”

“With Dougie Hicks,” Dad reminded him, clearly still processing that part.

Mom laughed. “It all sounds too good to be true. Like a dream.”

“I know,” Landon said, because he’d felt that way a few times since moving in with Casey.

They chatted for a bit about what various friends and neighbors were up to back home, and about how much colder it was in Calgary. About the storm that was supposed to hit that night in Calgary. Then Landon shared his other reason for calling.

“So, um. I’m going to be starting tomorrow night. Against Detroit. Just found out this morning.” He wondered how obvious his anxiety was about it.

“Atta boy!” Dad said. “That’s great!”

Mom clapped excitedly, then asked, “Are you nervous?”

“Trying not to be.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great,” Mom said. Landon knew she meant it as encouragement, but he could hear the I’ll feel better when the game is over and I know you’re safe in her words. It made him angry and sad at the same time, and then guilty for feeling either of those things. It all must have shown on his face because Mom added, “We’ll be sure to record it. Everyone here is so excited for you, Landon.”

“You’re the toast of Eastern Passage,” Dad agreed. “Maybe they’ll name a street here after you someday.”

“As if,” Landon scoffed. Besides only very technically being an NHL player, he hadn’t spent a significant amount of time back home in years, and there were much bigger stars in the league from the Halifax area than him. Though it was nice to think about his parents’ friends and neighbors being excited for them, rather than always looking at them with sympathy. He wanted the Stackhouses to be known for more than tragedy. “I’ll try to give everyone there something to cheer for tomorrow night.”

A silence fell between them, during which Mom’s lips formed a tight smile, then fell before she said, “I’ve been trying. We both have. We tried to watch your first game that you started, but it’s hard. I hate that it’s hard, but it is and we’re working on it. I promise.”

Landon’s throat felt tight. “Mom...”

“We just want you to know that we’re trying,” Mom said.

“It’s okay if you can’t watch. I get it.” He mostly did. It made sense that his parents were terrified of seeing him get hurt. Of anything happening to their only remaining child. He’d accepted it years ago, and he tried not to imagine an alternate reality where his parents and his sister were at his games, Erin cheering louder than anyone.

“We love you,” Dad said.

“I love you too.” He loved them both so much, and he decided, right then, that he wouldn’t waste the opportunity to finally have the big in-person conversation they’d all been avoiding for years. He would apologize to them, for everything, and maybe they could move forward together.

He forced his voice into something cheerful and said, “So I’ll tell Casey that we’ll go to the cabin with them?”

“Absolutely,” Dad said at the same time Mom said, “If they’re sure.”

“Okay.”

“We really can’t wait to see you,” Mom said. “It will be so nice to be together.”

Landon’s forced smile softened. “Yeah. It will be.”

Casey couldn’t sleep.

He’d tried everything, including attempting to read a book for fuck’s sake. An actual paper book that Brooke had given him with a bunch of boring words in it. He hadn’t absorbed any of it, because his mind wouldn’t stop racing.

He wasn’t even thinking about anything useful. There was the usual anxiety about being in a room alone at night, and a bit of excitement about the game tomorrow night. Usually he could sleep through that stuff, but there was more going on in his brain tonight.

He wondered if Landon was having trouble sleeping, like the last time he’d gotten the start. Casey hoped he was sleeping like a baby because he wanted him to be a wall tomorrow night.

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