Page 107 of Time to Shine

“So. I’m starting tomorrow night. Coach just told me.” He glanced over at his parents, then back at the ground, and added, “Sorry.”

He knew Casey was staring at him, and pretending not to stare at him. Landon was acutely aware of how weird this was. Most NHL players didn’t apologize to their parents for having to play in the games they attended.

After a long, horrible silence, Mom said, “I told you he’d get the start.”

Landon looked up and saw his parents smiling at each other. They looked...excited? “You guys are okay with that?”

“We’re thrilled,” Dad said. “I know we’ve been...well. A lot of things, but let’s say not very supportive.”

“No, Dad, I—”

Dad held up a hand. “We can talk later, and I think that’s long overdue, but for now just know that we’re both very proud of you, and we can’t wait to see you play tomorrow night.”

Landon didn’t know what to say. He glanced at Casey, who was smiling, of course.

“Okay,” Landon finally said. “Cool.”

He kind of wanted to go straight home to have the conversation now, but he didn’t want to rob his parents of their celebrity-guided tour of Calgary.

Casey bounced on the balls of his feet. “So. Calgary Tower? You guys good with heights?” He smiled at Landon, all dimples and twinkling aqua eyes and boyish excitement. Landon couldn’t believe he was ever allowed to kiss him. That Casey wanted him.

And that Landon knew, if they went home now, he’d be robbing Casey too. Because Casey wanted nothing more than to do this for Mom and Dad. For Landon.

Something weird happened in Landon’s chest. He felt like he might start crying, which would be an intense way to react to Casey wanting to spend time with his family.

Maybe this was how his body dealt with unfamiliar emotions, like happiness. Because Casey made him happy. So fucking happy Landon’s chest hurt from it, too full of warmth, and when Casey smiled at him like he was doing now, he felt like he might split open.

Landon tilted his head back for a moment to give his heart a rest from having to deal with Casey’s dimples. The sun was starting to peek through the clouds.

They didn’t get home until early evening. Casey had been an enthusiastic, tireless tour guide, showing them everything from his favorite downtown boutiques to his favorite views in Nose Hill Park. Every place they went, Casey was recognized and approached for autographs and photos, and he’d always cheerfully obliged.

Now, Landon and his parents were relaxing in the living room. He knew they would want to go to bed soon—they were still adjusting to the time difference—but he was determined to have the talk with them that he’d put off for too long.

He’d quietly told Casey his plan at the park, and Casey had said he’d make himself scarce when they got home. About ten minutes after they all walked through the front door, Casey, with no subtlety at all, announced that he needed to go to “the store.” To Mom and Dad’s credit, they at least pretended it wasn’t weird.

Now Landon needed to figure out how to get the conversation started.

“It’s a nice house,” Dad said. He tapped his socked foot on the floor. “Good floors. Top-quality stuff.”

Landon nodded. “Yeah. Nice.” This was ridiculous. He decided to dive in. “So you guys don’t mind watching me play tomorrow night?”

His parents shared a look. Landon could only see Dad’s face, but he imagined Mom’s was similar. His expression said, Should you tell him, or should I?

Mom turned back to face Landon. “Part of the reason we wanted to visit you was to...well. I think we’re long overdue for a conversation. As a family. And we wanted to have it in person.”

“We need to talk,” Landon agreed. “I know. I want to.”

Mom gave him a small, sad smile, and continued. “We’ve been working really hard on a lot of things. A few months ago we started seeing a couples counselor.” She held up a hand. “Don’t worry. Our relationship is just fine, but friends of ours suggested it. They lost their son, so they understood, you know? And the thing is, sometimes you get so lost in your own grief when you lose part of your family, and you don’t realize that you’re damaging your relationships with the people who are still here.” She took Landon’s hand. “I regret a lot of things, Landon, but one of my biggest is that we haven’t been there for you for years.”

Landon could only stare at her, speechless. Her words didn’t make sense.

“We are,” Dad said, “so sorry.”

Finally, Landon whispered, “What?”

“We’re sorry,” Mom repeated. “I know that isn’t enough, but we hope it’s a start.”

“No. Why are you apologizing to me? You didn’t—I’m the selfish one. I’ve been the worst son in the world.”

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