Page 103 of Role Model

Ryan’s face shifted again into a proud smile. “Yeah. I know, I can’t believe it either.”

His hair had always been long and he usually had a thick, sometimes unruly, beard covering his face. Now his hair had been cut shorter than Troy had ever seen it, and his beard had been reduced to dark red stubble. It turned out that Ryan had been hiding a very handsome face and a nice smile under all that hair.

“You look good,” Troy said, because he owed this guy a compliment. And so many apologies. “Look, um, I know this probably won’t mean much to you, but I want to apologize. I was a complete asshole to you when we played together, and I’m sorry. It makes me sick thinking about how I treated you.”

Ryan had clearly not been expecting any of that, the way his mouth fell open. “Uh, okay. No problem.”

“Especially about the fear of flying thing. I can’t believe how horrible and immature I was. And I kind of got a taste of how you must have felt.”

“Right. I heard about the plane thing. I didn’t know you were on that plane because I didn’t know you played for Ottawa, but, um, it seemed like a nightmare.”

“It was pretty fucking scary.”

“I don’t even want to think about it. I haven’t been on a plane since I quit hockey.”

“Really? I heard that you travel with your boyfriend when he tours.”

“We drive. Or he flies alone. I don’t go on every trip.” His eyes narrowed. “Wait. Who’s telling you all of this?”

“Uh...” Okay, so this was the other thing Troy wanted to talk about. “My friend Harris. He’s a big fan of Fabian’s and he does the social media for the Centaurs. He’s...gay.”

Ryan’s eyebrows shot up. “You have a gay friend now?”

“Yeah, uh. That’s the other thing I wanted to apologize for. I said a lot of homophobic shit when I played for Toronto and I shouldn’t have. I don’t want to make excuses, but I was kind of...hiding behind it, if you know what I mean. That doesn’t make it less shitty. But it’s why I did it.”

He could see Ryan putting things together in his head. “Wait. You’re gay?”

Troy swallowed. “Yes.”

Ryan blew out a breath. “Didn’t see that one coming.”

“I know.”

Troy couldn’t tell from Ryan’s expression if he actually cared about any of this.

“Does your friend know you’re gay?” Ryan asked.

“Who? Harris?”

“No, Dallas.”

Troy’s stomach clenched the way it always did when he heard Dallas’s name. “Wow. You really haven’t been following hockey. We’re not friends anymore.”

“Oh. Good.”

“I know.”

Both men shared an awkward silence, then Ryan said, “I should go meet Fabian backstage. But, um...”

“Yeah. Of course. Go.” Troy hesitated, then said, “I’m glad you’re happy, Ryan.”

Ryan nodded. “Good luck with, y’know, figuring everything out.”

He left quickly without a glance back, which Troy couldn’t blame him for. He was glad he’d gotten a chance to apologize, but he didn’t expect Ryan to want to talk to him for any longer than he needed to.

But there was someone here who did want to talk to Troy. Who always had time for him, and seemed to really care about him. And Troy wasn’t going to keep him waiting.

Harris had found friends to talk to while Troy was busy with Ryan, so he hadn’t been bored. But a thrill shot through him when he spotted Troy walking toward him.

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