Page 41 of Kiss and Spell

He paused. Blood rushed to the tips of his ears, and he opened his mouth. Nothing, no sound came out. The pause went on too long.

He licked his bottom lip and forced the words out. “I… do?”

Ursula’s face scrunched in confusion. “Are you asking me or telling me?”

Xavier held back an unprincely curse. His breath grew thin. “Yes.”

Her eyes narrowed. He felt pinned to the chair, unable to move under her glare. “Your Highness, do you believe in true love or not?”

“No.” He lowered his head, unable to bear seeing the disappointment in her eyes. A sarcastic voice inside sniped at him. Great job, Prince Charming.

“Um… wow.”

Xavier forced himself to look at Ursula. There was something about her soft tone that bothered him. She looked at Xavier sideways rather than straight on like she usually did. An uncomfortable feeling that felt close to humiliation grew in his belly when she finally gave him a pained grin. The truth hit Xavier square in the chest and stole his breath.

She wasn’t disappointed. It was worse. Ursula pitied him.

Xavier sat with that knowledge. She felt sorry for him. The humiliation quickly turned into pure defiance. He raised his chin and stared back at her. Xavier Henrie George was the second son of King Roman and Queen Hazel, an honored member of the House of Alder, one of the finest and strongest families in the Realm. Pride threaded within his body as he pushed away that feeling in his belly. He didn’t need or want her pity or her sympathy, no matter how those big brown eyes secretly made his heart soften or how her smile lifted his spirit. No one in this world would ever feel badly for him.

“If a fae prince doesn’t believe in true love, then—” Ursula bit off the rest of the sentence.

He stroked his beard, trying to ignore his emotions. “Don’t feel sorry for me, Madame. I’ve managed fine without love.”

She leveled a curious look at Xavier. “I know it’s none of my business, but… what or who made you stop believing in love?”

He wanted to make her understand, to chase away the obvious pity in her eyes, but how could he? How could she ever know? It was clear, from the way she spoke and acted, that she was surrounded by love. For years, he overheard the callous words his parents exchanged when they thought they were alone and promised that he’d never allow love in his life. To love someone was to invite future pain. To grant them absolute power to wreck you with a single sentence. He didn’t have that luxury. No, Ursula’s parents were probably happily celebrating their thirty-fifth anniversary and showering their daughter with love she then shared with the world.

“No one broke my heart,” he said. “I’ve never been in love. I just learned that happily-ever-after isn’t real and life can’t be fixed with a storybook kiss. There’s mess, pain and… it doesn’t seem worth it.”

“Is that what you told the Queen?” Ursula asked. She stared at him head-on, as if daring him to lie. No more omissions. He wanted her to know what he truly believed. His friend deserved to know the truth about him.

Xavier met her stare. “I said, ‘Love’s a trap meant to catch wishing fools and desperate hearts. I don’t need love to get the perfect kiss.’”

He flinched inwardly. It sounded worse than he remembered. Her mouth fell open in surprise, but she quickly recovered. It pained him to be blunt, but he had to be realistic. Love was a means to an end and nothing else.

Ursula touched her throat. “I mean, you love your family and your godmother?”

“That love won’t help me break the enchantment,” he said stiffly. “I wish I told you sooner how I felt.”

“I believe in love,” Ursula said. Her words were strong and final.

Xavier met her eyes. “I haven’t seen it, and I haven’t felt it.”

Right at that moment, it felt like a line was drawn between them. Even though they sat at the same table and shared food from a single plate, they might as well have been separated by a tower wall. He could lean over and touch Ursula, but he didn’t know if he could reach her.

She gave him a sidelong glance of complete disbelief. “I haven’t seen the center of Earth, but I know it’s there because it’s under my feet. It’s solid.”

“That’s different,” he said. “One can feel the Earth with your bare hands.” He could reach down and grasp the dirt between his fingers. Love was nebulous, like mist evaporating under the heat of the sun. It could go away in an instant.

“Yes, but it’s the same idea,” Ursula said. There was clear passion in her voice. “You trust the ground will be underneath your feet as you walk. A person trusts that love will be there when they need it. Just because you haven’t seen or felt it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”

After those words, Xavier was completely convinced she earned her nomination. There Ursula sat with her heart on her sleeve, looking ready to charge forward into battle for everything and everyone she loved. How could she walk around so openhearted? She was going to be hurt horribly one day, bad enough that she wouldn’t want to ever love again. He wasn’t going to be around to comfort her. To protect her from such terrible pain. His face contracted into tight lines. No, that hurt couldn’t happen if he had breath in his body. He had to beseech her to guard that big heart of hers from this world that treated beautiful things with cruelty.

The words left his mouth before he could take it back. “Please, Madame, don’t be naïve.” Fire flashed in her eyes. He swallowed as it dawned on him that he clearly messed up.

When she spoke, her voice was cold and flinty.

“You may not need love to get your perfect kiss, but you’ll need trust. Kisses don’t have to promise forever, but they do require care and tenderness. If you can’t trust, how can a woman rely on your words… or… your kiss?”

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