Page 35 of The Sound of Sleighbells

“Yes.” Ruth lowered her gaze to his well-worn boots as she collected her thoughts. When she looked up at him, the words burst out of her.

“Leave my son alone, Judd!”

He stared down at her, his gaze shocked and questioning. At last, he spoke. “I think you’d better explain that. I don’t know what he’s told you, but I’ve never laid a hand on Skip.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s what you’re putting into his head that’s troubling me. Tonight, he announced that he doesn’t want to go to college. He wants to work with leather and make saddles—like you.”

A low gasp emerged from his throat. “So help me, Ruth, I would never suggest anything like that. He asked me how I tooled the design on leather, so I took a few minutes to show him and let him try it. When he asked me to teach him more, I told him I didn’t have time, and that if he wanted to learn, he could find some other way. That was all. I swear it. And whatever else you might think of me, I would never lie to you.”

“Let’s say I believe what you’re telling me,” Ruth said. “It doesn’t change anything. Skip worships you. Every word you say to him, he takes to heart. If I could, I’d forbid him to come here, but then I’d have to give him a reason why.”

“And what reason would you give him?” His gaze burned into her. “Would you tell him about the past—how much we loved each other, and how you turned your back when I got arrested? Is that what you don’t want Skip to know? Is that why you’re worried about Digger—because he remembers, and you’re afraid he’ll tell your boy the truth?”

“Stop it!” She was fighting the tears that welled in her eyes. “You don’t know what it was like after you went to jail! You can’t imagine what I went through—it was as if you’d died.”

“And you don’t know what it was like for me—waiting for a phone call or a letter, wondering why you couldn’t at least have said goodbye. And lying awake at night, yearning to have you in my arms, aching to—”

With a muttered curse, he caught her close. His lips captured her mouth in an urgent kiss that swept like wildfire through her senses. Only as her resistance melted did Ruth realize how much she’d wanted him. The masculine scent of leather enfolded her like a caress as she softened her mouth to meet his. The kiss felt the way she remembered, clean and hot and hungry. She molded her body to his strength, as if trying to pretend that the years had never come between them.

But the years had come between them.

And making up for lost time wasn’t the reason she was here.

Summoning every last vestige of will, she pushed him away. They stood facing each other, both of them breathing hard.

“We can’t do this,” she said. “I mustn’t come here anymore. And I don’t want you trying to influence my son.”

Anger tightened the lines on his face. “What kind of game are you playing, Ruth? I’ve never tried to influence Skip. He doesn’t need my influence. He’s a fine boy, a credit to you and his father. Why is this such a problem for you?”

Ruth’s hard-won control snapped under the strain. Trembling, she leaned toward him and flung the words in his face. “You stupid, blind fool! After all this time, haven’t you guessed the truth? You left me pregnant. Skip is your son!”

Judd reeled as if he’d been punched, then recovered enough to speak. “Why didn’t you let me know?”

“You were gone, my parents had thrown me out, and I had to think of my baby. I went looking for a good man, and I found him. Tom Haskins was no movie star, but he was kind and honest and faithful—and he couldn’t have loved Skip more if they’d been flesh and blood. If he hadn’t been killed, we’d probably still be married. If I’d told you I was pregnant, that would have complicated everything.”

His mouth tightened as he took in what he’d just learned. At last, he spoke. “Does Skip know?”

“He has no idea. And for his own good, I want you to swear you’ll never tell him.”

“Shouldn’t he know the truth?”

“Maybe when he’s older. But right now, at his impressionable age, what he needs is stability. If he were to learn the truth, you never know what he’d do. Some morning, you could find him on your doorstep with all his gear. Or he could kick over the traces and start getting in trouble—just like you did.”

“I get the picture, Ruth.” He cut her off, his voice a snarl. “Fine, I won’t tell him—I promise. But that doesn’t mean I’m all right with your not letting me know.”

“Maybe you didn’t deserve to know—riding off with your buddies when I begged you to stay, getting in a fight. We could have been a family, Judd. Now that chance is gone.”

“Is that why you didn’t let me know you were pregnant—because you wanted to punish me?”

“No. I did what I believed was best for my baby.”

“As the father, I had a right to know.”

“You had no right at all. You gave up that right when you left me.” She gulped back a sob. “I’ll let Skip come here until the harness is ready. He’s needed, and I know I couldn’t keep him away. After that, it’s over. And you’re not to say a word about what you learned tonight.”

“Fine.” His jaw tightened. “If you’ve said all you came to say, I think it’s time you were leaving.”

“At least we agree on something.” She turned away from him, opened the door, and stepped out onto the porch.

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