Page 45 of Bossy Grump's Secret

“Whatcha playing, Dilly?”

“Warzone. Don’t come near me.”

Of course, she ignores the warning and takes up a pad, forcing me to work the controls back to a two-player setting.

“So…you’re the next father in town, huh," She starts when the game climaxes. I knew she would bring this up the moment she walked in.

"Shut up, and let me beat you up in this game." I grit my teeth and snipe her at a hard angle, knocking her down.

“Well, you beat me in the game of bringing a child into the family, that’s for sure.”

“I shouldn’t have allowed you in," I replied regretfully

"Well, you're stuck with me, no,” she laughs. “Auntie Layla,” she says wistfully. At least someone’s mildly optimistic. I’m terrified! I don’t know what I was thinking, telling Ava to keep the baby, but I knew it was right.

“I know nothing about a baby, but one thing is certain: you’ll be a great dad,” she informs me.

"Thanks? You're being encouraging, and it's sappily disgusting, but thanks." I said in appreciation.

“So, what about Ava? You think she’ll make an excellent mother?”

"I know she makes one hell of a mother hen, an immensely protective girl. You should see how she shields this best friend from harm."

I rant about Lily for the next fifteen minutes, with Layla looking smugly at me.

“You’re so in love,” she says and grins.

"Again, I do not know. My body is drawn to her…like there’s an affinity.”

And it's true. It's been over a fortnight since we split up, and the relationship didn't last long. Why do I still feel this strange compulsion to just…grab her?

“I wish you were done with school. You’d have come to the hotel for me to point her out.”

“Huh, and begin helping with activities there, huh,” she shudders.

"Yeah. Working your way from the ground up, just like I did." I ruffle her hair again. "Don't worry, I'll be soft on you, lazy."

“You’re really doing a lot of work in that place, I’m not gonna lie,” she muses. “I just hope Dad sees all that.”

I scoff, “Oh, he does. That’s why I have a Ferrari.”

She ends up beating me in the game, but that's not important now. We become neck-deep in conversations about things that matter and those that don’t - all pointing me to one solid train of thought. I might just need Ava back in my life…even if she doesn’t need me in hers.

Ava

“He tells me…begs me… to keep a baby, then he goes on a weekend trip. Wow. Just wow.”

"I mean, you don't want him to?" Lily takes the phone to look at the message he sent me and gives me back the device.

"No! We should be here, trying to figure out the entire thing. My life is far from being ruined, Lil, and I just forfeited the last opportunity to clear this mess up." I hold up the abortion admission slip that I never got to use.

Well, honestly, I can reschedule anytime I want, as long as the fetus is still within its nonviable period per the health laws I read when scheduling the first abortion. If this goes past a certain time and if I can notice a mild swelling, I won’t have the mental capacity to go through with “killing” it.

There’s some connection that forms with observing the physicality of it, and that physicality is beginning to merge into reality. Every morning, whenever I look at my belly in the mirror, my heart falls in love a little more – a love I hope won’t do me any harm when I try to disengage myself from it…if I have to disengage myself.

“Like I said, he was only gone for the weekend,” Lily offers, trying to calm me down. “He’ll be back most likely tomorrow evening; you can accost him all you want and force him to carry the pregnancy if you wish.”

Oh, I wish…

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