Page 52 of Grumpy Boss's Secret

I winced. “Cheap, for now, until I can get another job.”

There was another pause. I could feel the weight of it in the pit of my stomach. I knew Mom's mind was racing. I'd always been impulsive, but not reckless. I didn't do foolish things like this. I knew she knew something was terribly wrong and feared the worst.

But it was the worst, wasn’t it?

“I’ll let you go,” she said. “Everything is going to be just fine, Jozi. I love you.”

I pressed my lips together, grateful she sensed something was pushing me to this decision instead of scolding me for my choices. I wondered what she would have said if she'd known about the baby.

“Thanks, Mom,” I said. “I love you too.”

I hung up the phone and stood there, feeling emptiness. Now that Mom's voice wasn't in the room with me anymore, I wished I'd stayed on the phone longer. I loaded up my car and left my key in the motel lobby.

“Oh,” said the desk clerk, startled, when I handed her my key. “Are you sure? Is there something wrong with the room?”

"No," I said, trying to reassure her with a smile. "There’s nothing wrong with the room.”

Just me. I got into my car and set off along the highway. After a while, I got off and drove along the coast. It was a slower drive, but it was beautiful. The moonlight glittered on the waves like flashes of silver.

Suddenly, nearing the top of a hill, I got hit with the memory of Ian as if it had been waiting on the road. I was filled with the recollection of his skin pressed against mine, the feel of him breathing against my chest, and the warmth that embraced me when I knew he was close.

I was sobbing before I realized it. I kept driving, blinking back the tears and gulping for air. The memory of Ian was shaking me like an earthquake. Should I have stayed and asked him to reconsider? Tried to talk it out? No. Of all people, I knew Ian knew his own mind.

Slowly, my tears dried up. I kept driving. I stopped for a chocolate milkshake at a fast-food place, wiping away the smears of mascara under my eyes. I went all night, slowly sometimes stopping to get out of the car and walk along the beach in the moonlight. It felt healing to be embraced by the wind. I could see a few houses along the shore with windows still lit, even in the middle of the night. It felt like a promise of home: there would always be a place I could go where it was warm and dry and safe.

When dawn began to rise again, I pulled over at the first beach I could find. I sat in my car, feeling a sense of relief without having an explanation for it. I didn’t even know where I was. I pulled out my phone, checked Google Maps, and saw I was now in California.

"We made it, Potato," I said, looking across the ocean. The sky was burning orange, gold, and almost purple, where the dawn met the darkness. I got out of my car, set up Potato’s dishes on the car seat next to her carrier and her litter box on the floor, and then cracked the window to ensure she had enough air, even though it wasn't hot yet.

Somehow, I knew I wanted to be on this beach for a while. To swatch the sun come up over my new life. I wandered across the boardwalk, down to the edge of the water. The air smelled tangy with the ocean's salt, and the wind whipped my hair. The sunlight winked and flashed on the waves: bright gold dancing on a green-flecked blue. The beach was washed in a rosy, gentle light. The shadows on the hills behind the beach were a deep, living blue. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, taking deep breaths.

“I’ve alive,” I whispered. “I’m going to be okay.”

I lifted my hand to my stomach, stroking my thumb several times. This time, I was definitely stroking the baby.

“We’re going to be okay.”

I opened my eyes, smiling at the sight of so much gold and blue. The air's smell and the wind's motion seemed to breathe new life into me.

“Well,” I whispered, ready to tell myself it was time to turn around and begin whatever new life was in store. "Now what?"

I guess I’d figure that out. I turned and then froze. Someone was walking across the parking lot toward me. At first, I thought it was just my fatigue making me jump like that, but then my heart started to race.

Chapter Twenty-Three

It was Ian. I stared at him, thinking that I must be hallucinating. Maybe the long night had affected me more than I thought; perhaps I was falling asleep while standing up. His eyes fixed on me as he walked to me. He wore dark jeans and a white dress shirt, partially unbuttoned as if he'd left in a hurry. The wind blew back his hair. Even from that distance, I could feel the intensity of his gaze.

I couldn’t move. I just stood there, feeling like the earth was shifting under my feet - like I might fall. He was nearer now. It was unmistakable, Ian.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered. I didn’t know what I was feeling. My entire body seemed to ache.

My breathing grew more rapid as he approached. Finally, when he was only a few feet away, he stopped. I stood there, looking up at his face and into his eyes. He didn’t speak, but he wasn't smiling. He stood there, panting heavily as if he’d been running, his eyes locked onto mine. My skin tingled. I wanted to hold him and be in his arms.

“Why are you here?” I whispered.

“Why did you leave?” he said, breaking his silence. His voice was gruff, as if he had just woken up or hadn’t spoken for a long time. My lips parted. I searched his face, confusion washing over me.

“Don’t you know?” I said hoarsely. I didn’t seem to have the energy to speak.

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