Page 61 of Leave Me Broken

I peek around the corner after hearing Luca’s thick voice. Payson is cupping her mouth.

“The stress from the argument had caused Giana to miscarry. It took three weeks for her to pass the baby—our baby—and by that time, she was only a shell of who she once was. We both were. When we were not crying over our loss—we were arguing. It was a very dark time in my life. I was so heartbroken over losing what could have been and angry at Giana’s dad for causing it—I missed all the signs. I missed how she stopped arguing with me and would just sit there and stare when I would. I pushed her away when she wanted any affection because I was so worried about hurting her. I was a terrible lover and I abandoned her in her most crucial time of need.”

“Luca,” Payson whispers, emotion thick on her voice too.

Luca hangs his head and his shoulders shake. “She killed herself. I left for work, and I did not even tell her I loved her. I did not kiss her; I walked out not knowing my beautiful Giana was planning on taking her life the moment I left. When I came home, I found her on our bed curled into a ball . . . I will spare you the details but there was a note.”

Payson pushes from the counter and walks around to Luca. She slips between the counter and him and wraps her slim arms around his waist. He’s hesitant and suddenly he is looking right at me. His eyes are rimmed red, causing my eyes to burn. I nod because I know that’s what he is waiting for. He drops his head and wraps his long slim arms around Payson, and he cries.

It’s an out of body experience seeing your best friend cry into your everything’s arms. Part of me, a small part but a part, hates seeing her in any man’s arms besides mine. The better and bigger part wants to bloody cry seeing them together. It’s like two of the most important pieces of my life are falling together. I just need Parker and my family here and I would be the world’s happiest man.

Luca normally doesn’t cry telling this story anymore, though. Sure, it’s been a while since I have heard it, but I am surprised to see how much it affected him telling Payson.

“I’m so sorry, Luca.” Payson’s voice is hushed into his body.

“You remind me of her, you know.”

I freeze in place because he never told me this before. His eyes open and he looks at me.

“I do?”

He nods a few times. “You love so viciously, Payson. You feel everything so deep, and so did she. She could not understand the issues everyone had with us, they meant very little too her because she loved me that much.”

Payson pulls back but keeps her arms on his waist. “You know people call me a robot, right? I don’t have feelings, Luca.”

She has no clue what I—apparently we, see in her.

Luca smiles because he must think the same thing. He lowers a hand and wraps it around her wrist, raising it into the air.

Luca presses a deep kiss to the freshest one. It’s not romantic, at least it doesn’t feel romantic to me. He’s Italian, everything they do is romantic. A kiss is like a handshake over there. Reminding me I don’t want to take Payson to Italy for a vacation.

“You feel. Just differently.”

Luca lets go of her arm and she stares down at them, looking at her scars with a furrowed brow. “Why do we let other people affect us so much we scar our body because of them?”

Luca and I trade looks because neither of us know how to answer that.

“I do not know,” he tells her gently. “That is a good question that hopefully we can find the answer to.”

Payson sighs and her shoulders sag as she lowers her arms back to her sides.

“And one day, your arms won’t be your expression of emotion. One day you will be able to use this.” When his thumb brushes over her bottom lip my eyebrows nosedive. Now I feel like punching him.

Luca is grinning when he moves across the room to sit in a stool, leaving me glaring at him, and Payson staring at nothing with shock written all over her face.

My eyes fall to her pointed nipples. “Those better be because of the draft and not because my best friend just touched your lips.”

Payson jumps at my words. She looks at me and follows my eyes down, scoffs and throws her arms over her chest but it’s too late. Luca is laughing from his seat, and I can’t help but smirk at how embarrassed Payson is.

Until she flips the script. “You guys used to have three-ways.”

I can’t tell if it’s meant to be a question or an accusation but it pisses me off anyway. I am not sharing Payson. I refuse, even with Luca who I love like a brother. Maybe even more than my idiot brother, but I’m not sharing her.

“Yes.”

“Of course you did,” she grumbles.

I step in behind her and wrap my arms around her curvy body. “Jealous?” I growl into her ear.

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