Page 23 of Leave Me Broken

What a bitch. “Jealousy isn’t a cute color on you,” I snap back.

There’s a beat of silence before Alyssa opens her big mouth again. “You want to know where my sister is?” Her voice is still hushed. “Why don’t you ask your little boyfriend? I bet he knows. In fact, I think he has a good hard idea where she is.”

I want to tell her a good hard idea doesn’t make sense. I get what she’s hinting at, but I will not let her use Ash, or Maggie to get to me. “Stand up,” I tell them and ignore Alyssa altogether. We need to get to the end of the course, then we can all suffer together next week because there’s no way we haven’t gotten the worse time.

The girls are cheering for us as soon as we stand. I just want to finish the course, so I ignore every bitchy remark from Alyssa she makes along the way. Mika must too because somehow, we make it to the end.

“Time,” Coach announces, then he sighs and it’s full of disappointment. “Nine minutes and fifty-five seconds. At least half was spent arguing.”

I hate that he’s disappointed in me. I hate letting Alyssa drag me down to her level, again. I need to ignore her, but I don’t know why that’s so hard for me. It’s always been difficult but it’s worse now. When Olivia was around, she was the bitchy one and Alyssa kind of let her lead the bitchy train. She’d never been nice but Olivia was the main bully. Now it’s like she’s taken over the spot and is making up for lost time.

She is holding something over my head. Dangling so it’s just out of reach. Maybe it’s what Maggie said in the restaurant that day about Mr. Gilbert and Mr. Burton talking about me. Maybe it’s something else, but I’m over it. I just need to move—

“My sister works at Cherries, right, Ash?”

My teammates’ cheering stops. Everything stops. My fucking heart stops. No one says a word and I rip my blindfold off. My eyes take a second to adjust but when they do, I glare at Alyssa. She’s not paying me any attention, instead looking over my shoulder, looking at Ash.

I shoot Luca a look, but his eyes are too busy bouncing from me and over my head to Ash. A silent Ash. A not-denying Ash.

Please. Please tell me the stripper that got off on his lap wasn’t Maggie Burton. Please. Please.

Everything moves in slow motion when I turn and see a pale Ash staring right at me. His eyes waver for a second, flicker with what I would assume is regret, disappointment, hurt, or maybe that’s me reflecting my feelings on him.

No. I shake my head delicately. My teammates stand next to and behind him but all I see is him. All I ever see is him.

When he told me about the fucking stripper, when I saw the video, the girl was brunette. I know she was because Janelle said something snotty about . . . I swallow thickly, her wig slipping off. I clutch my stomach, begging myself not to throw up in the gym.

“She wanted me to tell you thank you, by the way, said that was her best night of work yet.”

“Alyssa,” Luca scolds with more anger dripping from his voice than I’ve ever heard. “I will not listen to anymore inappropriate words come from you.”

Alyssa stiffens and I wonder why we are still tied together. Mika is right there with us. Wide eyes and everything. Every girl has shocked eyes like they are waiting to see what happens next. I level my stare with Janelle. She knows what I’m thinking, and I guess by the absolute horror etching her features, she must have made the connection too.

I whimper.

Ash snaps out of whatever state he was in and steps toward us. He winces when I snap my glare to him—warning him to not come any closer. I don’t know if I have a right to be angry with him about something I thought I got over. Hearing the stripper was Maggie, my childhood bully—everyone’s childhood bully. The girl who said vile things to me a few weeks ago. The girl that landed me in Ash’s bed for the first time because he couldn’t let me go without knowing I was okay. He must of saw her that day, right? Meaning he knew what she looked like and still let her get off by riding him. Clothes or not, it doesn’t matter, Maggie fucking Burton got off on my boyfriend’s dick. And he let her.

“Why not? You were there too, right, Coach Luca?” Alyssa is grinning like she’s officially lost her mind. “Did you see my big sister or did Ash keep her all for himself?”

“Enough.” It’s Ash this time that says something. “Everyone go shower.”

It takes a blow of Luca’s whistle for girls to snap out of their shocked state. Everyone heads for the shower but the three of us still tied together. I can’t move. It feels like cement has replaced everything in my body and I’m rooted to the floor.

“What’s the big deal? You’re red-blooded males. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about going to a strip club and getting off on a hot girl. Daddy spent good money on Maggie’s tits, it would make her happy to know they were appreciated.”

I’m mortified hearing her words. I can’t tell who she is trying to hurt anymore. I thought me, but her words seem to cut Ash more. My anger dwindles a hair because worry takes over. Something isn’t right in Alyssa’s dead eyes. She lacks all morals, obviously, but she’s genuinely getting off on this. Embarrassment doesn’t begin to describe what I see in Ash and Luca’s faces. She’s totally disrespected them in front of the whole team.

She opens her mouth again and I interrupt, “Enough, Alyssa. Stop.”

I wait for her to throw another punch that I’ll be able to dodge. Thankfully, Mika has since removed herself from us and is joining the rest of the team in the locker room.

“Enough,” I repeat. My voice is calm, hoping something will break whatever spell she’s in. Alyssa is a bitch, but she’s not coldhearted. I would argue the opposite, saying she feels everything tenfold but instead of handling those big emotions with crying like Janelle does, she lashes out. Today, however. She’s snapped.

“Why? Don’t like hearing your pussy isn’t enough to keep our coach satisfied.”

I slap a hand to my mouth. As do most of the girls behind us, I guess they stopped to watch the show too. Sure, three out of the five know about me and Ash, but it’s not something we openly talk about. Certainly not at practice.

I’m not even offended at her words, mostly. The stripper bullshit is past. I’m just disgusted she ruined team bonding by being a cunt.

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