Page 27 of Leave Me Broken

I love what I’m hearing but I want to see him, I push the door open with snail speed, glad it wasn’t completely shut in the first place, not to disturb him.

I’m not the first woman to see Ash Pearson shirtless, but I’m so glad he’s not right now. Alyssa has seen enough of his body for, well, ever.

His phone screen isn’t clear from this far away but clear enough to see that Alyssa is wiping her eyes. I kind of thought things between them were superficial, but if Alyssa is crying, maybe it’s possible she developed feelings during their time together, however long that might have been. I hate the thought, but I also can’t blame her; Ash Pearson is amazing when he wants to be.

“I just thought that you would get over her. You would realize the age is a big deal.”

I freeze halfway across his room and wait for him to answer her. He’s standing at the foot of his bed, back to me—rigid and uncomfortable and not at all how he is when I’m around. I smile.

“Love is not just something you get over. Everything about her calls for me, her voice, her eyes, her smell. Her soul is an extension of mine. I love every single thing about her, and when she’s around, I can think of nothing more. Practice is excruciating because all I want to do is grab her, hold her, and never let her go. You convinced yourself my feelings might change but they have been sure since the beginning. Payson is a drug and I’m a user, I can’t let her go and I don’t want to.”

“So she’s bad for you.” It’s not a question.

Ash sighs and runs a hand down his face like he does often. “Alyssa.” He pauses and I take that time to walk in front of him and wrap my arms around his stomach. He tenses but a second later, he’s sinking into me and pulling me closer.

“Hi, babygirl.”

I tip my head back to see his phone but he crushes me back into him. “I muted it. Please tell me you’re staying, because I need to talk to you.”

I came in here expecting to officially end things, I mean that would make the most sense. He lied about having a son, he lied about whatever happened with him and Alyssa. I don’t know if I can trust him but how can I leave when he said all those things about me? Maybe he knew I was here, maybe it was staged. Maybe Luca texted him telling him I was here and this whole thing was planned. Or maybe he means it. The way his body relaxed when I touched him makes me want to believe the latter.

I can’t believe anything without talking and I can’t talk while he’s still on the phone with her. “Hang up, we need to talk.”

Roughly five seconds later Ash is tossing his phone onto the chair behind him. He faces me from across the room, debating his next move and I give no hint on what to do. If I’m being honest, I like the uncertainty in his eyes. I even like the bit of fear he is holding in his stormy gaze. That means he is afraid of losing me like I am him. I’m still so pissed at him, pissed that he lied. Pissed that Maggie was the stripper. Pissed that both Burton sisters have got off on my boyfriend’s dick.

Will this be something we can move on from or will it always be in the back of my mind? Right now, I don’t know. It’s still so fresh.

What about his whole ass son that is somewhere in this house? What about his baby mama? Is she in the picture is that yet another woman I have to compete with?

I don’t want to compete.

“You’re thinking too hard.” His voice is like a bucket of cold water. Refreshing but also a reminder of everything.

“I’m trying to decide if the anger is something that will ever go away.”

He deflates with my words. “I understand.”

“Do you?” Tension settles between us. “Really. Do you? How could you? You’re the only man I’ve been with. You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted. For years I obsessed over you. I prayed to you. Like you were a god, Ashley Pearson. I worshipped you. How could you ever relate to that when I’m no more than a notch on your bedpost?” My eyes fleet to the right, eyeing said bedpost and wincing.

“No one has been in this bed, this room, or this house. Only you, Jailbird,” he mutters. He walks toward me. With each thump of his feet, anxiety creeps up my body, causing a cold sweat to coat my skin. He doesn’t stop in front of me, but behind me, and his chest brushes the back of my head. His touch is electrifying. His fingers graze my thigh, outer hip, stomach, and up. “You think you are just a notch,” he spits the words. “But you could not be more wrong, my sweet girl. You’ve had years of this obsession. I’ve only had months; but I promise, babygirl, in those months my obsession has grown at a rapid speed and our feelings are a mirror of the other.”

My neck tingles when he kisses me there. “You’re not the only woman I’ve been with.” I can’t stop the low snarl from leaving my body. He chuckles and his teeth skim my sensitive skin. “But you are the only one I’ve wanted this badly. I’ve had my fair share—”

“If this is meant to make me less mad at you, it’s not working,” I snap. “I don’t want to hear about the sluts you’ve been with before me.”

“Sluts?” He chuckles.

I pull away, and spin to pin him with my glare.

“How do you know they were sluts?”

I know I’m slut shaming these women for simply sleeping with him, but he is making me crazy. Logic is nonexistent in my head. “Because they aren’t me.”

He settles a heavy hand on my neck and strokes my cheek with his calloused thumb. “No, they weren’t.” He studies every inch of my face instead of settling in one place. “None of them matter. All that matters is we are here now, together.

“And I’m going to worship you until you forget about any anger you hold against me.”

Ash picks me up around the waist and tosses me onto his bed. He climbs on next. His big body makes me feel even smaller. The closer he gets, the more I want to sink into his soft pillows. He must see it on my face because he stops, hovering over me, instead of diving into my mouth. “What are you thinking about, Jailbird?”

---