Page 37 of The Captive Missing

Then there was Bee, legs covered in white sand from her beach, singing up into the palm trees, having consumed that last Pina Colada.

And Jace.

Always the visions ended with Jace.

Leaping onto her bed in the morning, he would toss pillows aside and laugh. God. It was his laugh. His laugh and his sweet little face. What she wouldn’t give for just one more chance.

After seeing him… Val would break. Face pressed into the corner where the wall met the bed, she would lose all control, sobbing until she had no breath left. She would choke and sputter and retch up what little she had eaten in the first place.

When they caught her at this, the pills started. Oval-shaped white pills.

First thing in the morning, Tracy would enter with her tray and one solitary pill. Val was made to swallow it right away, so that any other bites she took would be sure to carry it down along with them. They didn’t want her avoiding the medication.

But that step was unnecessary because Val didn’t care what they gave her. She would take it. She would take all of it.

Within the week, her appetite returned, followed by an increase in energy and the ability to sleep soundly. She was no longer plagued by memories or dreams, but instead was left wrapped up in some sort of haze.

Her thoughts were cloudy. She felt neither intense sadness, nor any other form of intensity. The pills, whatever they were, had evened her out, but in a slow, dispassionate sort of way.

One morning after breakfast, Tracy led Val out the door and down a familiar hallway. The shower facility at the end had other women in it this time, some that Val recognized and some that she didn’t. They were all in various stages of bathing.

Positioning herself in the far corner, Tracy swiped over her tablet, eyes focusing on emails, or charts, or appointments elsewhere. With no further instruction, Val shed her clothing and dropped it in a basket marked Laundry.

Stepping into an empty stall, she twisted on the silver faucet and stared at the tiny white tiles lining the wall. The cement flooring was cold and wet on her dirty feet, but the tepid water felt good. This must have been one of the new government regulations at work, Val thought absently. Cambric was no longer allowed to keep the water frigid, though it wasn’t warm by any means.

Eyes blinking slowly, Val let the water soak her tangled mass of hair. Why hadn’t they cut it all off, as they had with Bee? Did it really matter? Val tilted her head to one side and tried to sharpen her mind on the thoughts, but they slipped slowly away from her. She couldn’t hardly focus with the medication. Maybe that was a good thing.

Inside the stall sat three opaque plastic bottles. Each one had a pump on top and faint cursive writing. Shampoo. Conditioner. Body Wash.

Holding her palm beneath one spout, the exact amount allowed to her was automatically dispensed into her hand. Waste not, want not. Val sighed, then scrubbed at her hair, taking the time to work the suds deep into her scalp. Everything she did now seemed drawn out, like she was a fish swimming in a great round bowl.

By the time she was done, most of the other women had left. None of them spoke to her, though more than a few flicked their questioning eyes in her direction. Their expressions shifted between appraisal and concern. Did she look all that bad?

Twisting off the flow of water, Val walked to the cupboard marked Towels and wrapped herself in one threadbare white sheet. Over her shoulder, she threw Tracy a questioning look but the woman was consumed by other things and didn’t seem to notice.

Crossing to the long sink, Val caught the first glimpse of herself in the wide mirror. If she hadn’t felt so out of sorts, she might have let out a tiny gasp. She was thin, gaunt even, her hair a wild knot that hung down her back. Dark circles marked the skin beneath her eyes. Vacant, frosty eyes.

Giving her head a little shake, Val reached for a brush that lay in a basket marked Combs. It took a long time to free her hair of its dread-locked tangles. She had no strength, no energy. By the time it was all straight, Val was panting, palms spread over the Formica countertop, face downcast, arms aching.

Seeming to clue back in, Tracy marched up behind her and barked out a series of orders. She was to brush her teeth, bind her hair in a braid and change into a set of workout clothes. Val followed these instructions, stepping into a pair of fresh underwear, grey spandex shorts and matching sports bra.

On the way out of the room, Tracy handed her a protein bar which Val quickly devoured. Like that day so many weeks before, they walked out of the building and into the midday sun. It was the height of summer with not a cloud in the ultra-blue sky. Val blinked her eyes, raising one hand to shield them. Everything felt exactly the same, like she was living a dream.

A high brick wall ran from building to building, enclosing the lush green of the courtyard, effectively trapping its occupants inside. The space was dotted with picnic tables and covered mostly with thick grass. In their youth, the area had been a source of great release. When their behavior was good, they were allowed free time here and Val had many fond memories of rolling around on the lawn with Bee.

As she passed through the space now, the murmuring from before was less so. People looked up, but then away, returning to their activities without incident. Tracy led Val into a low building on the far left. Val knew that just past it was an outdoor pool.

Before walking through the door, Val could hear the laughter of children. Instantly her heart squeezed in on itself, but then just as quickly it evened out. The drug successfully dampened the flood of emotion.

Inside the building, the light was dim. They traveled down a wide hall which skirted a gymnasium. There was a basketball court just beyond a set of double doors where she had watched other children play games in school. Memories of all kinds haunted her. At the end of the hall there were a bunch of classrooms, then beyond that, a playground. The distant sounds of shouting and sneakers squeaking along the linoleum floor caught her attention. The kids were in between classes. A bell would sound soon.

At the end of the hall Tracy veered right instead of left and soon Val found herself in a workout room instead of the school. It was large, with a wall of windows that looked out over the pool. Various treadmills, elliptical machines and stair climbers faced out. Val counted over fifteen lined up side by side.

Along one wall was a set of weights on a low stand. The middle of the room was covered with a blue padded mat. Around it were a series of exercise machines. One for legs, one for arms, one worked out your core, another strengthened your back.

Twenty or so captives occupied the space. They didn’t pause in their conditioning when Tracy and Val walked in, but instead maintained their focus. She could hear the puff of their breathing, smell the mix of sweat and skin. Val’s stomach growled, it wanted another protein bar. She wouldn’t get it.

Tracy beckoned to the lone security guard who quickly hopped over to her side. She gestured to Val, then drew his attention to her tablet and then the clock on the wall. He nodded acceptance, then stood quietly as Tracy addressed her charge.

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