Page 47 of State of Mind

“It hurts,” Luca said, but when Wilder tried to pull back, he grabbed him by the hips and thrust again. “I like it.”

“Into pain?”

“Into you,” Luca countered. “Please, kiss me. I need…”

But Wilder wasn’t about to make him beg. He gripped the back of his neck and hauled Luca in as he thrust them together in a stuttered rhythm that shouldn’t have been able to get either one of them off.

But it did.

Luca shot first, a heavy groan pushing into Wilder’s mouth, against his tongue, his body shivering and twitching. The warm wetness spread along the front, and just knowing what it was—what Wilder had done—was enough to send him crashing over the edge.

The orgasm, the pleasure of it, was muted. It was softer, a gentle rippling through his limbs, but he felt himself spurting all the same, his cock throbbing—wanting more, wanting to be touched, and yet he didn’t. He thrust helplessly against Luca’s softening dick—just shy of enough, and he dropped his forehead.

He wondered if he’d ever been so satisfied before. Pushing up, he shifted off to the side, then rolled to face Luca. ‘Stay tonight?’ he signed after a beat.

The curve of Luca’s smile brightened his entire face. ‘Yes,’ he signed. ‘Definitely.’ His hands dropped, and he gathered Wilder close, burying his face in the crook of Wilder’s neck. It was the warm, even breath that settled them both, and Wilder finally settled into himself.

CHAPTER 15

Luca woke in Wilder’s empty bed, his side cold, not a sound in the house. For a moment, he felt a cold wash of panic, until he saw a small, folded note on the nightstand. Downstairs doing prep. He rolled onto his back, feeling deliciously sore and sated for having done so little that night beyond a bit of frotting and coming in his pants the way he’d done as a stoned teenager.

He felt like he’d climbed an emotional mountain, and he wanted to embrace that freedom of letting go all the things that had been weighing him down. His problems hadn’t been solved with a mutual orgasm—and it would take a while to really believe that Wilder wanted him just for him—but it was a step.

Pushing himself up to his feet, Luca padded to the bathroom and washed up, scrubbing a little toothpaste in his mouth with his finger, then he rummaged through Wilder’s things and found sweats that fit him—even if they were a little high on the ankles—and a t-shirt that smelled faintly like cupcake batter.

The light from the kitchen window was warm and gentle, the early rays of the sun filtering past the curtains. He pushed a pod into Wilder’s coffee machine, then started it, waiting with his eyes shut for a second to watch the way everything lit up bright orange behind his eyelids. The smell of coffee filled the room, mingling with the faint scent of baking cake from below.

He grabbed his drink and headed downstairs. The room was brighter from the fluorescent lights, and Wilder was standing at the table bobbing his head to music from wide headphones pressed over his ears. He had a spinning cake stand, and Luca stood, mesmerized as he watched him spin and frost—a perfect swirl of something soft yellow and pastel purple.

He hesitated when he realized he had no choice but to startle the other man, but then he spied the switch on the wall and quickly flicked it up and down. Wilder’s hand stuttered, but he turned his head and smiled when he saw Luca. “Hang on,” he said, his voice soft. He pulled his headphones off, then reached for a small case on the table where his hearing aids sat.

Luca was patient until Wilder had them on, then he crossed the room and set his coffee down before grabbing Wilder by the apron pockets and tugging him into a kiss. “Mm. Frosting?”

“I always taste my work,” Wilder said. He picked up the bag and dabbed a bit on his finger, then held it up. When Luca pulled the whole digit into his mouth, Wilder let out a small groan and swallowed heavily.

“Good?”

“Amazing. What is that?”

“Lemon and lavender. It was a spring flavor that got popular, so I think I’m going to keep it on the menu.” His voice was still a little breathless, and he leaned in to steal another kiss before moving to the sink to wash his hands. “Did you sleep okay?”

Luca nodded when Wilder turned back to him, slinging a dish towel over his shoulder. “Better than at the house.”

“Is that a hint?”

At that, Luca’s mouth twitched into a half smile. “Not yet. My dick wants to say yes, but my heart says it’s probably best for it to be patient.”

“Your heart is a smart little thing,” Wilder said. “You should trust it more often.”

Even the kindest honesty could feel like a sucker punch, and Luca swallowed back his knee-jerk reaction to tell Wilder that it had never led him in the right direction. But maybe this time was different. “I’m getting there. And last night was good.”

“Very good,” Wilder breathed out. His fingers trembled a little as he reached for his frosting again. “I think I need to kick you out, though. I have about two hundred more cupcakes to frost, and I’m not going to get anything done if you’re here looking all…” he moaned quietly and waved his hand up and down Luca’s body, “in my clothes.”

Luca couldn’t find a single way to take that poorly, smiling around his coffee as he took another drink. “Then I’ll get out of your hair. Can I see you later, though?”

“Yes.”

Yes, he said, as simple as that. As easy as anything had ever been, but Luca was still startled by his honesty.

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