Page 51 of State of Mind

He rose, obeying like he was made to do it, and he hurried to the kitchen counter to grab the bag. The oils from the soap had seeped into the paper, making it dark in patches, and he felt a little embarrassed at how ill packaged it was. Wilder deserved better things—beautiful things—but Wilder took it from him like it meant everything.

He spilled the soap out into in his hands and turned it over. It had been poured into the mold that was meant to look like a geode—with bright green clear soap in jagged edges on the side, and a sort of soft, opaque-grey in an oval for the rest.

Wilder dragged his thumb over the sharper edges, then lifted the bar to his nose and sniffed it. “What is that? It’s familiar.”

“Basil,” Luca said, sitting down and running a hand through his hair. He stared at his feet and sighed. “Will thought it would remind you of me. Uh…and I, well. I thought it might smell like a pizza, so it’s totally fine if you hate it.”

Wilder laughed and gently set the soap down before taking Luca’s face between both hands. “It doesn’t smell like pizza. I love it.”

His words were profound, gutting—but in the best way. He had nothing to say, so instead, he pulled Wilder in by his wrists and kissed him, slow and deep. “Thank you,” he murmured, knowing Wilder probably wouldn’t understand him, but hoping he felt it anyway.

Wilder, in response, only kissed him harder.

Luca was surprised at himself for being the one to break the kiss, but the idea of taking a walk was appealing. Wilder didn’t seem to mind as they put shoes back on, and Luca breathed out a heavy sigh as the cooler night breeze wafted across their skin. It was a balm after the warm day in the sun, and he enjoyed the juxtaposition of heat in Wilder’s hand that sat comfortably in his.

“I did a lot of walking around when I first moved here,” Wilder said as they turned a corner, away from the restaurants and the busier streets. “Jayden told me one of the best things around here were all the little hidden neighborhoods. The main one behind the bookshop is Forsyth Park. All the locals walk their dogs there and picnic in the smaller parks. And the houses are so old and beautiful. I can’t get over it.”

“It sounds…”

Idyllic? Romantic? Storybook?

The words all felt a bit too alien to him. He’d grown up in the hustle and bustle of a busy California city which felt so young compared to Savannah—and even after they were able to move away to quieter, more posh areas, there was hardly any calm.

Wilder squeezed his hand gently as they took the little road through the dark canopy of trees, and his other hand brought out his phone to use as a flashlight. “I never did ask if you’re into, you know, being outside like this.”

Luca laughed softly under his breath and tugged on his lover’s hand. “Yes and no. I don’t actively seek camping or anything, but I like this.”

Wilder grinned at him. “I like it better over here. It’s kind of a neighborhood secret that none of the tourists know about. It’s quieter.” They came to a small park with a large pond that couldn’t have been more than twelve inches deep. Even in the moonlight, Luca could see the crystal-clear water flowing over a little water feature.

“Well?” Wilder asked after a beat.

Luca tipped his head up. The trees were still so thick, there were only small bursts of sky, lit by stars, and a faint glow from the nearly full moon. “Not what I expected.”

“In a good way?”

At that, Luca turned his head, then licked his lips. “In the best way.” He let the real meaning sink in, watched it as Wilder’s cheeks darkened enough to see even in the dim light.

His lips parted in a sigh, then he leaned in, and Luca met him in a kiss. “You’re addictive.”

“Mm.” Luca smiled, then pulled back and shuffled closer. “I could say the same about you. You make me want things I never expected.”

Dropping his head down onto Luca’s shoulder, Wilder breathed out with a small, contented hum. “I’m glad you decided to stay. When I asked you,” he stopped, his body a little rigid with tension.

“What?” Luca pushed.

Wilder sat back up, the look on his face almost pleading. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way.”

Luca waited for pain to sink in—for the blow to hit his self-esteem, but it didn’t. There was just a quiet resignation and maybe a little amusement. “You didn’t like me then.”

“Well, I thought you were nice to look at,” Wilder told him, his eyes gleaming, “but no. I wasn’t interested in you.”

“You felt sorry for me,” Luca added.

Wilder’s eyes rolled upward. “You were kind of asking for it. But it didn’t take me longer than a couple of minutes to see the strong, worthy man underneath all that disaster.”

Luca couldn’t help his laugh, the feeling of it a little bit wild, and yet impossibly steady. He felt grounded and happy, and it was just so damn unexpected. “I’m glad you gave me a chance.”

“I’m glad you let me,” Wilder told him.

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