Page 42 of State of Mind

Luca shrugged. ‘Drugs are knocking me out pretty hard.’

At that, Wilder’s brows furrowed. ‘Is the pain that bad?’

‘Worse at night,’ Luca answered, but this was the last thing he wanted to be talking about right then. He glanced at Wilder’s ears and saw his hearing aids weren’t in, and as much as he wanted to switch back to speech, he didn’t. ‘It’s getting better.’

Wilder hummed, then reached around Luca to push a bowl of what looked like whipped butter from the edge, then he carefully slid his arms around Luca’s waist and held him. “Is this okay?”

Luca’s entire body felt flushed and hot, and he nodded as he dragged his fingers into Wilder’s hair and cupped the back of his head. “Yes. I…is this okay? Your hearing aids…”

“I can hear what you’re saying since there’s no other noise in the room. I had to take them out this morning. I have Meniere’s disease, and they make my vertigo worse on bad days. I had a really bad one yesterday. I couldn’t get out of bed, so Dmitri had to run the shop, and it’s been off and on this morning.” As he spoke, Luca noticed the way his eyes trembled back and forth, like a spasm.

The words hit him a second later, and he felt the anxiety knot in his belly give way to something softer and sweeter. Wilder hadn’t been ignoring him. He hadn’t wanted to brush him off, and Luca felt like an ass for not checking in. He detached his hands from Wilder’s hair to sign, ‘Do you need help today?’

Wilder grinned, but he shook his head. “Dmitri did almost all the prep work last night.” He dug his fingers into Luca’s sides. “I wanted to invite you to my place for dinner.”

Closing his eyes, Luca leaned in, brushing his nose along Wilder’s forehead before smudging kisses along his cheeks, his chin, his neck. He wanted to kiss his mouth, but he also wanted to breathe in the scent of him, let it wrap around him and overwhelm him.

“Is that a yes?”

Luca pulled back and nodded his fist. ‘Yes.’

“Good. Kiss me then, before I have to finish this up.”

Luca had no trouble complying. He laid a hand to Wilder’s jaw, dragged his thumb along his skin, then pressed their lips together—soft and chaste at first, and then deeper as Wilder opened to him—just like before, fierce and willing. He tasted sweet and fruity, and his tongue fucked into Luca’s mouth before he pulled away with a gasp.

“Sorry,” he said, pressing a hand to Luca’s chest. “Sorry.”

Luca frowned. “What?”

Wilder’s hand drifted to his crotch and pressed to where he was hard. And there was pain, but not like the night at the aquarium. It was a dull throb, a lot like blue balls. Nothing he couldn’t handle. Wilder’s hand made him harder though, and he couldn’t stop his groan as he pushed into it.

“It’s fine.”

Wilder frowned up at him. “I didn’t catch that.”

‘It’s fine,’ he repeated in sign. ‘The pain is better.’

Wilder’s smile after that was hungry—it was almost feral as he rose onto his toes and flipped them around, so Luca was pressed to the bench, and he proceeded to devour his mouth like he was starving for him. “Tonight,” he muttered.

Luca pressed his hand into Wilder’s palm and nodded his fist, not wanting to pull away for sign space. ‘Yes.’

Wilder ripped his mouth away, his cheeks flushed, lips parted with his pant. He swallowed thickly once, then twice, and finally looked up. “You have to go. I’m not going to be able to concentrate at all if you stay here.”

It wasn’t exactly incentive to stay away, but knowing that he’d have Wilder tonight—in whatever capacity Wilder wanted to give himself—was enough to push him into another kiss, and then a second, and then a third before he managed to stop. They didn’t say any sort of goodbye, their gazes locked for a short eternity. Then Luca turned on his heel and let himself out, and he could only breathe again when the warm air filled his lungs just outside the shop.

The day spread out in front of him with no purpose, and yet he didn’t feel compelled to fill it. He forced himself away from Whipped only to remove the temptation to go back inside, and instead found himself wandering back toward the courtyard where all of the fire fighters had gone except Fitz, who Raphael had introduced him to the night at the Tavern, and then the tall, good looking man next to him.

Fitz’s eyes zeroed in on him, and before Luca was aware of it, he was following the man’s shorthand wave to come over. The grass sank beneath his feet, and he felt only a little nervous as he approached, shoving one hand into his pocket just for something to do.

“You look lost,” Fitz said.

Luca rolled his eyes. “I am lost. Not literally, but… I’m not sure what the hell to do with myself today.”

“Besides making out with your boyfriend all morning?” Fitz offered, and the other man laughed.

“I don’t know what…” he started, but Fitz’s eyeroll cut him off.

“I’m engaged,” Fitz reminded him. “I know what it looks like when someone’s been making out for the last half hour. I’m willing to bet your boy looks even worse than you.”

---