Page 76 of Fling

‘A free game of golf,’ Colin said as he took a strong swing that sent his ball flying halfway down the fairway.

‘This is ridiculous. You don’t even need a caddy,’ Rory whined as he carried Colin’s golf clubs on his back.

‘Yeah, but it makes my victory all the more sweet.’

Colin began to walk down the fairway towards where his ball had landed as Rory trailed awkwardly behind him. As he sauntered along the grass, his imagination ran wild with all the possible outcomes of his date with Claire. He found himself more enthralled by her than ever. He knew there was no guarantee that she would find him attractive, or even vice versa, but the two had shared so many intimate moments on Fling each night that not feeling anything in real life seemed damn near impossible. What they had was too real.

On the app, they were merely two disembodied personas, yet Colin felt more in touch with his true self than ever before. It almost felt as if Colin was his mask and Jack was who existed beneath. Perhaps when he woke up in the morning, he put on his person-suit to play the role he thought he had to. But every night with Claire, he felt like he could take off his guise and be his deeper, primal self. The virtual realm they created together had no shame. It was a judgement-free erotic space with no inhibitions.

Now it was time for the veil to be lifted.

Although it only began as an empty threat to annoy Tara, Colin had started growing a beard. Tara had been right when she said his previous attempts at facial hair had been a mistake. He always believed he didn’t have the genetic potential. But now, after only three days of not shaving, Colin had stubble he was quite proud of. It gave him a more rough-and-ready look and he even noticed a few women on the street giving him a second glance. His confidence was at an all-time high.

‘So what’s the game plan for meeting Claire tonight?’ Rory asked when they arrived at Colin’s ball.

‘No games. Just two people meeting each other for a drink,’ Colin said, squinting at the green to determine which club to use. ‘Three-wood please.’

Rory let out a grunt and handed Colin the club. ‘So where are you taking her exactly?’

‘She requested Elixir. We’re meeting there at eight p.m.’

‘Nice one. Which hotel did you book?’

‘What?’ Colin said, confused. ‘I didn’t book a hotel.’

‘Hold on, you don’t have a room to take her back to afterwards?’ Rory said, shocked.

‘Of course not, she just said she wanted to meet for a drink at Elixir. She didn’t mention any hotel,’ Colin said.

‘Yeah, Col, she chose Elixir because it’s on Harcourt Street. And what else is on Harcourt Street? A bunch of hotels. Does she really have to spell it out for you? If she chooses Elixir, she’s hoping he licks her,’ Rory said, forcing the pun.

‘Only your filthy mind would think of that,’ Colin laughed, brushing off the idea. He lined up his shot and sent the ball flying right onto the green. ‘Anyway, I don’t even know if she’d be up for having sex on the first date.’

‘How many times do I have to tell you? It’s not a first date, it’s an affair. The normal rules don’t apply. Nobody has an affair to have less sex. That’s what marriage is for!’

‘Well . . . our conversations are always very sexual . . . but she never specifically said she wanted to sleep with me tonight,’ Colin said.

‘Of course she didn’t explicitly say it. That’s your job. You have to master the art of the Bold Move,’ Rory said, emphasizing the phrase.

‘And what might that be, exactly?’ Colin asked.

‘When you’re seducing someone, you need to make a leap of faith in order to take things to the next level. No woman wants to have to ask a man to kiss her. She wants the man to just do it already. She wants you to make a bold move. But the two of you are married so you can’t really just grab her and kiss her in public. Dublin is too small for that. People might recognize you. Your bold move is finding the right moment to whisper in her ear that you have a bottle of champagne on ice in a hotel room nearby . . .’

‘And what if she says no?’

‘Then fine, her loss. But what if she says yes and you don’t have a room to take her to? Talk about leaving her high and dry,’ Rory said.

Colin thought about it for a moment. He wasn’t sure about Rory’s logic, but his relationship with Claire was already quite sexual. After all, they had spent many nights talking about their deepest desires. If she wanted to take things to the next level, Colin wanted to have that option available. It did feel a little presumptuous to book a room in advance, however. And being frugal to a fault, Colin didn’t like the idea of paying for a room that might not even be used.

‘Can’t I just book the room after we have a drink?’ Colin said, wanting the best of both worlds.

‘A last-minute room? On Harcourt Street? On a Friday night? Yeah, good luck with that.’ Rory laughed.

‘OK, fine! I’ll book a bloody room,’ Colin said, taking out his phone. Colin searched online to get a good rate on Harcourt Street hotels but saw that most of them were booked out.

‘The cheapest room available is a suite in the Gibson Court Hotel but it’s two hundred and sixty euro,’ he said, wincing.

‘Look, it’s your call, but if Claire says she wants to bang, what are you going to say? Follow me baby, I know a quaint little ditch around the corner?’ Rory said, painting a horrifying picture in Colin’s mind.

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