Page 106 of Fling

‘RORY! No, no, no, anyone but Rory! He’s literally the worst person I’ve ever met!’

‘I know, he’s perfect!’

‘His inner thoughts are just “Mr Brightside” by The Killers on a loop 24/7,’ Tara said frantically.

‘The world’s best wedding song,’ Emily said, daydreaming.

‘Emily, if he gets the clap one more time, it’ll be an applause!’

‘Oh, I built up an immunity to that years ago.’

‘But he’s basically the male version of a nymphomaniac!’ Tara said, before suddenly realizing that they might actually be a good match. ‘OK, now I get it.’

‘The term is satyromaniac, I looked it up.’ Emily smiled. ‘I thought they were just a myth. I can’t believe I actually found one in the wild.’

‘I guess Colin was right, there really is someone for everyone. And you’re a Libra, so the more I tell you not to sleep with him, the sooner you will,’ Tara said, giving up.

‘And he’s a Scorpio. It’s going to be the most toxic relationship in history,’ Emily said, excited.

‘And they say romance is dead.’

‘There’s a lot more to him than meets the eye. I can see through his façade. Most men these days are wolves in sheep’s clothing. But Rory is a sheep in wolves clothing,’ Emily said warmly.

‘Still, good luck getting past his commitment issues.’

‘Oh please, men don’t have commitment issues. They have abandonment issues. Once you realize that, they make a lot more sense.’

‘OK, you win. I guess he’s perfect for you. So when are you meeting him?’

‘Right after my bikini wax,’ Emily smirked.

‘If you see Colin at all while you’re meeting Rory, will you tell me how he looks? If he’s taking care of himself?’ Tara asked, concerned.

‘You need to stop thinking like Tara and start thinking like Claire. Colin is the past, Jack is the future. Well . . . if he shows up,’ Emily said.

Tara’s hairstylist Oscar approached them.

‘Tara, great to see you. Curly blow-dry, same as last time?’ Oscar asked.

‘No, she needs a whole new look,’ Emily butted in.

‘Oh, looking for something new, are we?’

‘Not necessarily something new, Oscar, but . . . I want to feel like me again,’ Tara said. ‘Is there something that can give me even more confidence than a curly blow-dry?’

‘Hmm . . . do you trust me?’

‘With my life,’ she said.

‘OK, then put this on,’ Oscar said, taking a cold gel eye mask out of a mini fridge.

‘Oh, I hear these are great for under-eye bags,’ Tara said, putting it on. She noticed that it almost completely obscured her vision.

‘Yeah, and it’ll make you keep your eyes closed while I do my thing. Now just sit back and relax.’

‘Have fun, Tara,’ Emily said. ‘I’m off to get waxed within an inch of my life.’

‘I can’t believe I’m paying fifty euro for you to get a Brazilian wax for Rory McKenna,’ Tara sighed.

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