Page 96 of Touch in the Dark

Remi arches a brow. “Elsa,” he sighs. “No matter what you told everyone when it comes to Nick Chambers, I know you never got over him. You still care about him, maybe even more. Quiet,” he holds up a hand when I open my mouth to interrupt. “Let’s take a step back from all the sex and think about this logically.”

“I love it when you’re logical.”

“Someone has to be. Number one, do you actually want a relationship with him?” he holds up a finger. “Two, are you going to be able to trust him or will you forever be worried about what he might do, especially when he’s away on tour?” A second finger shoots up.

I hadn’t thought of that. But I’ve seen Jenna and Adam do it successfully, though they are the great love of each other’s lives.

“Three, has his confession about why he is the way he is made any difference? Can he change his mind set in terms of relationships, so you can move forward together? And, this is an addendum, sex isn’t everything. Even amazing sex. It can cause more problems.”

“I know,” I give him a sympathetic look.

“We’re talking about you not me. So, answer those three questions. Go,” he waves a hand.

“Yes,” I say. “Trusting him may be hard but I believe him about what happened that night. He never did anything, he didn’t cheat so I can trust him. You would agree if you heard him yesterday, talking about why he is the way he is, and how he is trying to fix it.”

Remi nods but then tilts his head. “Do you think getting involved with him while he’s fixing it is the right thing to do?”

I rub my temples. I understand what he is saying. I do. Truth is, he’s right, I never stopped caring about Nick Chambers. The evidence is all here. Not sleeping with anyone else since him. Not taking the opportunity to go further with a great guy when he was right there for the taking. Then being with him, listening to him and letting myself trust him enough with my body, which includes my heart.

“Damn, girl. You’re a goner. No denying it. You have a glow about you.”

“Most people would say that’s the sex.”

“I’m not most people. We may not have known each other long, but in the most platonic sense of the word, you and I are soulmates Elsa. I only have your best interests at heart, and what I, or anyone else thinks doesn’t matter, so long as you know what you want.

“All I will say is, be cautious, take it slow, don’t fall too hard and fast, and always protect yourself. You’re not a stupid, impulsive person, this has been brewing for weeks between you since the night of my party. I see the way he looks at you.” Remi reaches over and takes my hand. “Whatever you decide, I’m here for you. And I’ll kick his ass if he hurts you again,” he adds, his voice stern.

“Thank you, you’re my favourite person in the whole world.”

“It better remain that way. Now, Jenna has been all over me about whether I’ve heard from you, you need to put that girl out of her misery. And the studio have a director, so I’ll be flying back out tomorrow.”

“That’s great,” I say, not overly enthusiastically. Selfishly, I want him to stay here a bit longer.

He rolls his eyes. “It’s a great movie, it needs to be finished, no matter who is at the helm. And this woman is good, she’s directed some indie films and a couple of bigger budget studio movies. Plus, she is a woman. No chance of me fucking it up again.”

“Remi,” I warn.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s a him problem. Okay, enough of me. Pop in tomorrow to say goodbye. I have an appointment with my masseuse so get out of here.”

“A masseuse?” I arch a brow.

“It’s not like that,” he throws a bagel at me. “Although we have hooked up before and getting under him might help.”

“I concur. Go get fucked by your masseuse.”

“Get out of my house.”

As expected, Jenna is ecstatic, Brooke is sceptical and Meg is happy for me, so long as I’m happy. Adam eyes me, even though he stayed out of the way while the girls grilled me. I’m not surprised he turned up. I don’t think anyone was. Nick texted me throughout the day and he called to wish me goodnight. My heart was full as I went to bed, back at my place, because with Adam there, I didn’t particularly want to stay in the room next to theirs. Brooke and Meg didn’t leave though, Brooke was all about cramping Adam’s style, he even offered to pay for a hotel, but Jenna was aghast at the suggestion. Brooke had an evil glint in her eye as I left.

I visit my studio in the morning, catching up with everyone, making sure things are running smoothly, which they are. Reggie and Francesca, my senior stylist and assistant manager are doing a great job. I work on a few clients, then head out to meet dad and Thomas. He picks me up in their van and we head to the Leo’s food truck on Pico Boulevard for dinner, exchanging gifts and stories of our adventures. Dad wants to take on the studio that fired me but I talk him off that ledge. Things worked out in the end. I tell them about Nick. Dad warns me to be careful too but he’s happy for me. I’m dying to ask him about Derrick Atwater, but he’ll want to know why, and I swore to Nick I wouldn’t mention it.

That night, all of us who came out to L.A. go out for a meal, and this time everyone keeps their asses where they’re supposed to be. I sit next to Nick, and he doesn’t miss any opportunities to touch me, either holding my hand, or his leg pressed against mine. Archer and Adam are watching us, I know they’re looking out for their friend, even if he was the one who ended things last time. They’ve known him a very long time, I guess they’re concerned about how this could go. And they are fully aware of all this crap with his dad and the PI, it’s probably that they’re worrying about, not me.

Nick invites me around to his place and after some consideration, I decline. He is disappointed, but he doesn’t push it which I appreciate. He does take me home though, and he stands on my doorstep kissing the hell out of me, before saying he’ll see me back in New York in a couple of days. He hasn’t heard back from the PI yet, but promises he’ll let me know when he does.

I hope he gets good news or, at least what he wants to hear. I’m not sure Nick knows what that is.

We head back to New York late the next morning, Adam with us this time. Despite their show of being rivals for Jenna’s affections, he gets along well with Brooke and even though Meg is quiet, he includes her and makes her feel like she is one of his circle. It’s a hard shell to penetrate but I like Adam and I love how he is with Jenna. She deserves happiness.

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