Page 68 of Sky Full of Stars

“Well, it’s not a big deal is it? Not you know, like anything will happen. Jenna is here.”

“Of course nothing is going to happen. Even if Jenna weren’t here it wouldn’t happen. I don’t give a shit about her anymore.”

I sound like I’m protesting too much, even to myself. I’m not sure why I’m reacting like this. I’m totally over Erica. Have been for years. So why do I feel a little bit sick at the sight of her. And not in a disgusting I can’t stand to be in the same room as her sick. It’s a different kind of nausea and I don’t like the way I’m feeling right now.

“Keep her away from me. And keep her away from Jenna,” I tell Arch and he nods but there aren’t enough people here to make it that easy to avoid her. “I can’t fucking believe with everything else going on I have to deal with her showing up.”

“The food is ready Mr Harris, where would you like it?” A voice interrupts us.

Arch turns to the waiter and tells him to take it in and put it on the table in the living room. People can just help themselves in there rather than the more formal dining room. “Let’s just go back in and enjoy the night, you can stick around for a bit, eat, then take Jenna home.”

“Yeah,” I plant my hands on my hips. I’m still angry and I’m scared because I’m wondering if the anger isn’t just that she has shown up here, it’s at myself for wanting to talk to her. We never got to end things properly, it was done over phone calls and angry emails. I didn’t even see her when we eventually broke up.

We follow the waiters back into the room who drop off varying dishes for people to pick at. I stand in the doorway and two sets of eyes turn to look at me, both questioning. Erica had her chance and she shit on me. I walk to Jenna, sit down and clasp her hand.

“Everything okay?” she asks looking into my eyes.

“Everything’s great, I’m just thinking about how long we need to stay to be polite before I can get you back home for some serious making out, and what not.”

She laughs softly. “Hmm what not?” she gives me a funny look knowing what I mean. “I’m hungry, maybe after I’m fed?”

“Sounds like a plan,” I lean over and fill two plates at record speed making her laugh. I can feel Erica watching me, but I keep my eyes averted.

I make sure I’m never in a position for Erica to corner me to talk and I keep Jenna close, even though she’s chatting away to people. She really is amazing, she can talk to anyone and I love watching the way she laughs, her head tilts a little to the side when she does. In the pool this afternoon, I loved how playful she was and how it felt rubbing sun lotion into her shoulders.

Christ I need to get her in my bed. She is totally out of her element here but she’s making the most of it.

Jordan corners me to ask about Erica but I cut him off, telling him to feel free to go for it if he wants to. He’s shocked at that but I know he won’t because of my past relationship with her. So he changes the subject and wants to talk about the drummer replacing him on the tour which is killing him. Out of the corner of my eye I spot Erica getting up out of her seat and going to get another drink from one of the waitresses. She is not far from where Jenna is sitting and I watch her with narrowed eyes. She glances at Jenna then looks at me from across the room, her eyes soften and she gives me a shy smile. I don’t know what she wants but I can’t return the look. I turn back to Jordan and my phone buzzes in my pocket. I take it out and see a text.

Erica: Aidan, can we please talk

I glare at her and put my phone away. She lowers her eyes. I’m sick of this shit. I walk over to Jenna and lean down. “It’s time to leave,” I tell her.

“Oh,” she lets me pull her up and we say a quick goodbye to everyone. I don’t bother even looking at Erica. Arch silently apologises as he lets us out. I pull Jenna to the car and get her inside. When I get into the driver’s side, she looks over at me. “What is going on with you?”

“Nothing, I’m just not feeling the party, I want to go home with you, watch a movie, cuddle.”

She’s not looking convinced.

“Maybe get in your pants,” I add to stop her staring at me like that. It works. It takes a while to get back to Malibu and we’re both quiet all the way there. I’m being an asshole and I need to stop. It’s not Jenna’s fault my ex showed up and stirred up emotions I thought long gone.

At home, Jenna goes to change and I try to pick a movie. I stand in front of the DVD shelf staring at nothing. I get another text.

Erica: I wish we had chance to talk before you left. Your friend is beautiful, Aidan. I hope you’re happy. Can we please talk, I’m free any time?

I slam the phone down on the table. I don’t need her blessing, nor does Jenna. And I’ve no intention of talking with her. I’m in a bad mood when Jenna comes back down and I ask her to pick a DVD cos I can’t choose. She goes with Napoleon Dynamite saying I look like I could use a laugh. She is picking up on my mood and I feel bad. I make popcorn and lie down on the couch pulling her down in front of me.

It’s late when the movie ends and I walk Jenna to her room and kiss her goodnight saying I’m tired and we should go out somewhere fun tomorrow. I can see she is disappointed and that pisses me off too. She is the one who keeps holding out. There are only so many times I can joke about it and get knocked back. I stalk into my room and undress then get in the shower. I can’t believe I’m letting Erica get to me like this. I thought my feelings for her were long gone. I put my hands on the tiled wall in front of me. “They are gone,” I mutter. “I don’t give a shit about her.”

I wash my hair and get out of the shower, going to the balcony off my bedroom wearing just a towel, I stare out at the moonlit water. My whole world had just been flipped upside down again. I’ve spent the last few months trying to get Jenna here. I need to focus on her. She is my future, I want her in my life. Erica is my past and she needs to stay there.

There is no sign of Jenna when I get up. She’s not in the house or the pool. I stand out on the balcony and look up and down the beach. Where the hell is she? Did she see what was going on last night and take off? That thought scares me, I don’t want her to go. I go back inside and look around. Her shoes are on the floor by the couch where she took them off last night. She’s still here. I go back into the kitchen and finally spot the note.

Gone running, be back soon, J xoxo

Shit, I run my hands through my hair. I’m letting shit get out of hand. Jenna is only here a few days, we’re one down already. I pull out my phone, look at the texts from Erica, then delete them. I go through my contacts and call a friend down in San Diego to check on something I think Jenna might like, or be terrified of, but it will be fun. He confirms we can be accommodated but it’s a long drive, we need to set out early to make the most of it. I go back out onto the balcony and look down the beach, this time I can see her, her hair is swinging in a high ponytail and she has little shorts on with a tank top. My heart clutches at the sight of her, as does my dick. I’m determined today is the day. I’m gonna make her have so much fun she can’t resist me.

She sees me and waves, I wave back and beckon her in. She does a few stretches before jogging up the steps. I meet her there and kiss her.

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