Page 36 of Sky Full of Stars

He is a big fat liar. Just like Lance, just like the other men I’d put my trust in.

I feel like such a fool. Seeing him there was a big enough surprise. He was supposed to be in Florida. Then watching as that beautiful model draped herself over him, kissed him, sickened me. Not to mention finding out he isn’t even who he said he is. Aidan Gass, lead singer of a rock band. God I am so naïve. It seems I am the only person in the world who has no idea who he is. At least now I know why he was asking about my taste in music. He probably thinks I’m an idiot for not knowing who he is. I’ve listened to some of it since and hate to admit, they’re good.

Running my hands over my face, I swivel my chair around to look out of the window behind my desk. Izzy has a desk for Tina out with the other staff so I still have my own space, even though Tina is picking up a lot of my work. I’m due to meet with her in fifteen minutes to go over everything she has done while I was away and what needs doing now I’m back. Izzy told me to think of her as my assistant now, which is strange because I really don’t feel like I should have an assistant.

Izzy wants to sit down and go through what she is expecting of me too and left a package on my desk with my new compensation details, a raise of almost five thousand dollars per year. I am planning on protesting when I meet with her but know she won’t change her mind.

At least I still have my work and the gym. I was so glad to get back there this morning and even took to the ring with Sam working on proper fighting techniques. Some of the guys were watching and cheering me on and Joey spoke to me afterwards saying any time I want to spar and learn a few pro moves, he’d be more than happy to work with me. I left considering it, but only because I wanted to learn from a professional, not because I want anything to do with Joey. I am definitely sworn off men.

I call Megan before Tina is due to come in.

“Hey Meg, how are you? I’m back from the tour,” I say. “Will you be able to come Friday morning to train?”

“Hey, I’m good, how was the trip?”

“Good, we saw so many amazing things while I was away and the book tour was a huge success. It was a lot of fun but I am glad to be home. What do you say about Friday? I’ve missed our morning sessions.”

“I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to get there in the mornings now,” she says. “Work has given me some extra shifts and I need to start earlier.”

“Oh that’s a shame, I was looking forward to it.”

“I know, me too, I’m really sorry Jen. I could try and fit in a few later after work if that is good for you.”

“I’m sure I can make some arrangements…” I fiddle with the wire on the phone. Megan doesn’t sound like her usual self. “So work is busy?”

“Yeah, they needed someone to pick up some slack, the extra money is good, I couldn’t really pass it up.”

“I understand,” I tell her. “Just give me a call next time you’re free in the evening and I’ll make sure I can go any time that suits you.”

“Great, thanks Jen. I’ll speak to you soon.”

I end the call feeling uneasy. Maybe I’m reading too much into it. Maybe work has got busy for her. I don’t know her history, it’s just a feeling but it could all be my imagination.

After spending time working through everything with Tina and then Izzy, I yawn so big my jaw cracks, I’m marched out of the office and told to go home. No one lets me protest so I grab my purse and workout bag and walk home. It’s hard not to think about Adam…Aidan.

Not just that I feel betrayed but he has that picture of me now. I don’t know what he is going to do with it. Does he do that sort of thing a lot? Surely he can get any girl he wants, why waste time with me, just to have phone sex. Then I remind myself he is coming to New York and wanted more from me and I would have given it.

I will drive myself crazy if I don’t stop thinking of him, but I can’t shake the fact that some of the things he said did actually give hints to who he is. Watching him on stage at some of his concerts made me wish things were different. He is pretty amazing, his voice strong and a little gritty, he can definitely hold a tune live and he looks like a consummate rock star when he’s on stage. Women adore him, which is painfully obvious. I read far too many stories about things he did in his past. Things that shock me.

His representatives issued a statement saying he was not with that model he kissed at the benefit, saying the photo had been taken out of context. Yeah right, I’d seen it live, it did not look out of context to me and they dated in the past, so it was difficult for me to believe his statement was true.

I make myself some dinner and sit down to watch TV. I am not in the mood to do anything meaningful. I fiddle with my phone, text Brooke to arrange dinner in the next few days, go over my calendar for the coming week and look online at some new workout clothes. When I hear his name I look up at the TV. A celebrity gossip show has started without my notice and they’re discussing spotting him out and about.

There is footage of him leaving a restaurant with a couple who are holding hands behind him. He raises his hand and waves as they head to a car with darkened windows but he does not stop to speak to any of the people trying to surround him. He’s in New York? He came?

I snap off the TV, how have I gone my whole life never hearing about him and his stupid band and now I’m seeing and hearing about where he is and what he is doing? Irritated I get up to pace the floor between my sofa and coffee table. I can’t believe he still came. He said he was moving his schedule around to make time to come and see me. I squeeze my eyes shut. He isn’t the man I thought he was. In fact, he is so far out of reach I don’t know why I think anything could happen.

I decide to torture myself reading over our texts. I haven’t had the heart to delete them yet. I stare at the picture he sent, the last one, the obscene one and despite myself, get a little thrill thinking of what came after that.

Sitting down, I go back to the text with his memory of life before fame. I turn on my laptop and Google him again, to verify the story. There isn’t much information on his early life, but he did grow up in White Plains and he does have a sister. So he wasn’t lying about that. Then I look back at his last texts. The ones at the benefit. He hasn’t tried to get in touch with me since that night.

When the phone pings in my hand for a second I think it is from him, but its Brooke, saying she is free at the weekend for drinks at McAllister’s but other than that she is swamped with work. I make the date then decide to go to bed.

Forget Aidan Gass. It was never meant to be.

In the morning when I arrive at the gym there is some sort of commotion over by one of the rings. I’m not concerned, it isn’t unusual for fighters who don’t train here to show up and mingle. I go the locker room and change into my workout stuff then head over to my usual bag. I do some warm-ups and then tape up and put on my gloves.

Usually by now Sam has joined me or at least said hello so I glance over to where there are a few guys talking to someone. I presume it’s someone who used to fight here or a new guy and get back to the bag. I’m knocking it pretty hard when someone grabs it to stop it swinging away from me.

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