Page 17 of Sky Full of Stars

He pauses for a few minutes and I wonder if he is bracing himself. How he finds texting easier is strange to me. It would have been quicker to call and just tell me but maybe it’s too hard. I remember how hard it was for me to talk about my dad after he died. I glance at my watch. I should continue getting ready but I feel like it would be rude to put my phone down.

Adam: I got word when I was in Nevada that a friend of mine had an accident. He lives in Missouri so it wasn’t exactly easy to get to him. I heard a few hours after it happened. I dropped everything and got on a plane. Let’s just say the people I work for were pissed and I let a lot of people down.

Me: That seems unusually harsh given the circumstances.

Adam: My job is pretty unforgiving. I don’t want to go too much into that. Upshot is I got there too late. He was hit by a drunk driver. They got him to the hospital, did what they could to stabilize him. He was still alive when I got on the plane so I didn’t know he’d gone until we landed. That was the longest plane ride of my life

I don’t realise I’m crying until a teardrop lands on the screen of my phone. I wipe my eyes and watch the dots dance again. I need to make sure he’s finished before I say anything, although I have no idea what to say.

Adam: He was one of my best friends since elementary school. We’d fallen out of touch for a while but reconnected through his girlfriend who is a mutual friend. We’d only really started to talk again about six months ago but it was great to see him and talk to him. Anyway, that’s what happened, the day after I last text you. I went a little nuts, disappeared, caused some shit for the people I work with. I had to go back, I had responsibilities but I was in a daze for a while. Then the funeral, but I had to work harder when I got back to make up for the time I took away.

Me: I don’t know what to say, that’s awful Adam. I’m really sorry.

Adam: Thanks, I don’t expect you to say anything. I guess it’s just cathartic talking to, or texting someone who doesn’t have any expectations from me.

Me: I’m glad I can help…if this helps.

Adam: It does. Believe me.

Me: The people you work for sound like dicks

Adam: They’re not totally to blame

Me: How about a joke to cheer you up

Adam: Sure, why not

Me: What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?

Adam: Hit me

Me: A Glad-he-ate-her

He doesn’t type anything back for a few minutes and I think I’ve offended him or shocked him. Maybe I shouldn’t have told such a dirty joke.

Adam: Slugger, I just fired my drink through my nose. You have no idea how much that made me laugh.

Me: Oops! Glad I could help?

Adam: I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks. Give me a sec to sort this shit. My eyes are watering

I wait and look at the clock. Kevin will be here in fifteen minutes.

Adam: I know you think this is crazy, the way we’re communicating. I find it pretty weird too but right now, I’m all over the place with work, I don’t get much personal time, always surrounded by people.

Me: What do you do exactly?

Adam: It’s hard to explain

Me: That sounds a lot like you don’t want me to know

Adam: Will you hate me if I say you’re right?

I think about it. It seems odd he doesn’t want to tell me, especially after talking so much about how his work was affected by the death of his friend.

Adam: I don’t want to keep things from you, I mean that but I don’t want to burden you with any more of my shit. So why are you in Chicago?

Me: I guess I don’t mind if you don’t want to tell me, I’m not afraid to tell you what I do if you promise you will tell me something personal about yourself

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