Page 14 of Sky Full of Stars

My phone pings. “Oh excuse me a second,” I tell him picking it up. Kevin turns away and has some of his beer. My heart thunders when I see who the text is from. I put the phone back down on the table. “No one important,” I tell him.

We talk a little more but it is getting late and I’ve lost the ability to hold a conversation. I’m so mad. Out of nowhere four weeks after his last text, now he decides to get in touch.

He can go screw himself.

“Jenna, everything okay?”

“What?” I look at Kevin. “Oh yeah, I’m fine, just tired.”

“Why don’t we call it a night? We have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Yes, yeah,” I grab my phone. “I am really exhausted.”

He gives me a sympathetic smile. We get into the elevator and out on our floor. Kevin’s room is a little further down from mine. He walks me to my door and I stop to look back at him. He leans one shoulder against the wall as I put in my key card to unlock the door.

“Well, goodnight,” he says.

He wants to kiss me. I’m flustered and irritated and actually really tired. “See you tomorrow,” I tell him as I open the door. I go inside, knowing he’s disappointed but he salutes me with a wink and walks away.

I shut the door and lean back against it. What the hell is wrong with me? Why does this guy I have met once, for fifteen minutes get to me so much? I toss my purse and my phone on the bed and head to the bathroom. I take a shower, washing my hair. I take my sweet time about it too. All the while my mind is on my phone.

“Ugh, why am I letting this get to me,” I groan at my reflection when I stand at the sink with a towel wrapped around me.

I dry my hair, put on my pyjamas and flick on the TV. It’s almost eleven thirty, I should be sleeping, we have an early flight tomorrow. God dammit. The TV is boring, all the channels I flip to have nothing interesting on.

I grab the phone, look at his name. He’ll know once I read it. I hope he’s sitting somewhere waiting for the ticks to change colour.

I open the text.

Adam: Hey, what are you up to?

Just like that, hey what are you up to? Is he actually kidding me? As if four weeks haven’t passed since he told me he would contact me in a couple of days. “Asshole,” I mutter. I have no intention of answering. He doesn’t need to know what I’m up to. I do not know this man.

Adam: I know you hate me right now but what if I tell you there is a genuine reason I didn’t get in touch?

I cross my arms and look at the message. He knows I’ve read this one too now.

Me: I don’t hate you, I don’t know you

Adam: I guess I deserve that

Me: What do you want Adam?

Adam: To apologise and try to explain

Me: So you’ve apologised and I don’t need an explanation. I’m going to bed now

I shut off my phone. I get into bed and slam my hand into the pillow to make a groove for my head then snap off the light, confused about my feelings. I’m having the time of my life, I’m away from the norm and enjoying travelling. Of course I’m keeping in touch with Izzy to make sure Ada’s treatment is going well and Sam is keeping me up to date with Megan, she’s stopped coming in the mornings but is still attending the evening classes. I’ve managed not to let myself worry too much about those things. Brooke is still meeting up with her so I know she is okay. Kevin is a great guy. Life is great right now.

I toss and turn for a while, my brain working overtime. What did he mean what if there was a genuine reason? What do I actually care? I was never going to admit to myself what his messages did to me. I only really thought about it after they stopped coming. Which was stupid, I know next to nothing about him, don’t know if he is flirting with me or just bored when he texts. It really is late and I’m being completely stupid.

The following morning I power up my phone and see a message each from Izzy and my mom, but nothing else. I respond to them, then pack up and head down to breakfast. Kevin looks at me curiously as we eat and Elle looks between the two of us, her mind wandering in the wrong direction I can tell from the small smile on her lips. The car arrives to take us to the airport. I look at my phone periodically.

“You expecting a call?” Kevin asks.

“Oh no,” I jump and put the phone away. He doesn’t look convinced.

“I booked a river cruise for tonight, hope you don’t think I was being presumptuous.”

---