Page 107 of Sky Full of Stars

“In what way?”

“A few times, I thought maybe we were gonna… you know.”

“Do anal?”

I choke on my breath and this time Elle and Kevin look at me. I assure them I’m okay by holding up my hand. “No,” I snip at Brooke.

“You’ve thought about it though, haven’t you? I see that gleam in your eye.”

“I am not referring to that or any other instance of that nature.”

Brooke laughs loudly. “Okay, so what is it that has you so riled up?”

“The way he looks at me sometimes,” I say softly. I couldn’t fault him for not saying it, it wasn’t like I instigated a conversation about our feelings either. “I mean, I don’t know how I feel, I think I do, but I’m not sure if he is on the same page. And it’s that awkward thing where no one knows how to make the first move.”

“You mean the L word, right?” she moves closer to the camera. “Just so you and I are on the same page.”

I roll my eyes but nod. She’s my best friend and always my first call when I need advice.

“Girl, he had hearts in his eyes the first time I met him. It was like no one else was in that bar, he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. And he hadn’t even got in your pants at that point. He’s dragged you across the country, wined, dined and fucked you senseless and then brought you on tour with him-”

“I wasn’t on tour with him,” I interrupt.

She waves her hand. “In one way or another, when was the last time you went a day without communicating with him?”

I shrug, I haven’t thought about that, but she’s right. He sent me a text to wish me good morning every day since I left LA and we chat before bed, either by text, call or video call.

“You don’t need me to tell you how you feel, Jen. You’re pretty smart.”

“I know,” I sigh, looking out of the window, realising we are actually picking up speed.

“You’re not backwards in coming forwards, girl. You know what you want, you go after it…” she studies me silently. “You really love him don’t you?”

Biting my bottom lip I give a quick nod of my head.

“You are too cute,” she smiles. “When he gets back, tell him.”

“Just like that?”

“Why not?”

“What if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“You said it yourself, he looked like he wanted to say something to you too.”

“Maybe he wants to end it after the tour, maybe it’ll be too hard for us to stay together.”

“If Iz could hear you talking like this, she’d beat your ass black and blue. Man I know they say love makes you insecure but you, Jenna Montanari, are not a cliché. Grab him by the balls and tell him how you feel. I can guaran-fucking-tee you, he’ll say it back.”

“And nothing I say will convince you otherwise,” I say drolly.

“Exactly. And if for some bizarre, unfathomable reason he tells you otherwise, then it’s his loss and he wouldn’t be worthy of you anyway. But I don’t think I’m wrong.”

“Okay,” I say quietly.

“How long till his tour winds up?”

“They’ll be back in the states in another three weeks. I’m not sure when he’ll get to New York, he has some stuff to do in LA before the band relocate for a few months.”

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