Page 74 of When Cardinals Appear

I smiled at him. Regardless of what happened between us, I wanted him to be happy.

He gave me a tentative smile in return then gestured to my untouched food. “Eat. I can hear your stomach growling.”

I scowled at him but obeyed. It hadn’t occurred to me how hungry I was until I’d devoured my burger and started on my fries. While he tried to be discreet, I could feel his eyes on me, like he thought I might collapse on the spot.

“You can stop looking at me as if I’m going to break,” I said, raising an eyebrow.

Nate’s wrinkled brow cleared as he gave me a broad grin. “I’m just checking for hypothermia.”

I rolled my eyes. Though it was early March, it had been a relatively warm day, and I’d worn a coat. “It’s not that cold out.”

“You’d be surprised,” Nate said, turning serious. “Lanie, what were you doing out there for so long?”

“I-I…” I began, dropping my gaze. “I was... processing.”

“But why there?”

“I needed to tell my mother a few things,” I admitted, my cheeks heating. Would he think it was stupid? Talking to a dead person?

“I understand,” he said, and his face was sincere. “But why didn’t you tell anyone where you were going?”

With a shrug, I fiddled with my food wrapper. “I wanted to be alone. And it gave me time to think.”

“About?”

I let out a long breath. “My grief.” At his puzzled expression, I raked my hands through my hair. “When my mom passed, I didn’t really deal with it. Yes, I went to the viewing and the funeral, and I cried, but... I compartmentalized everything.” I gestured toward the front door. “It helped to leave this town. At school, I was so busy trying to cram two semesters into one, I didn’t have time to grieve. And then when I came home, between the estate, the house, the car, and you…” I cleared my throat. “I was able to distract myself from my loss. But today, I realized how much of my life she’ll miss out on.” My eyes watered, and I shook my head. “Like if I get married one day, she won’t… she won’t…”

“She won’t be at your wedding.” He slid his hand across the table. I slipped mine into it, giving him a grateful smile. He squeezed my hand, and for a moment, neither of us said anything.

“Honestly, knowing Melody, she’ll be there.” He chuckled. “And you’ll know if she’s unhappy with the decorations or venue because something will break or spoil.”

I laughed. “You really know my mom!” My smile faded. “But it’s not just about a wedding. It’s... my whole life.”

“I’m sorry, Lanie,” he said, bowing his head. “I had no idea.”

It reminded me of the last time I’d seen him, and my heart ached. I’d said some harsh things that I regretted. Rehashing the past might have given me the answers to questions that had haunted me for years, but they didn’t make me feel any better. If anything, I felt worse.

“You couldn’t have known.” I waved a dismissive hand. “It didn’t really hit me until today.” I leaned back in my chair and sighed. “Besides, I didn’t tell anyone what I was doing or where I was going, and I turned off my phone.”

Nate didn’t respond. I wanted to ask him if he’d received the note. I wanted to learn what he thought of my mom’s final words to him. But I couldn’t bring myself to ask. The elephant between us had returned, and I felt its presence like a crushing weight on my chest.

I stood and crumpled my sandwich wrapper before tossing it into the empty fry container. He followed and pulled out a trash can in the bottom cabinet by the fridge. When I turned back to him, my breath caught in my throat at how close we were, but he took a step back.

My heart plummeted, and I started to move past him. Then I stopped and took his hand in mine, searching his face for answers to the question I couldn’t voice. He stared back, his expression neutral, but a spark of heat lit his dark eyes, and I knew it was now or never.

“We need to talk.”

Nate started shaking his head. “Not tonight, Lanie. You’ve been through enough. You need rest. I’ll take you home.”

“No,” I said firmly. “We’ve been dancing around this for long enough.” I pulled him into the living room, where we sat stiffly on his couch, facing each other.

He shifted beside me as if preparing for an argument. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Did you get the note?” I asked, ducking to catch his eye.

He nodded, keeping his gaze on the floor. “But I already knew she wanted me to keep my promise.”

“I left it for you because of the other part,” I said. “When she told you to take care of me.”

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