Page 54 of When Cardinals Appear

“I mean, I’m sure she wasn’t,” I hurried on. “But I was in a vulnerable place, and I didn’t take some of her suggestions very well.”

Her head tilted. “What did she suggest, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“My mom and I didn’t always get along.” I stared at my hands. “And since she died so young, we didn’t get to resolve all of our issues before she was gone.” My throat closed, and I swallowed the lump that formed. “The therapist said I should have had it out with her before she died so we could resolve everything.”

“Ah, so she thought you and your mother would benefit from closure?” With a frown, she tapped her pencil against her paper. “I’m not sure I agree. While I hope to help you gain closure through our sessions, I don’t think it would have been appropriate to spend your mother’s last days arguing about things that occurred as part of your shared past.”

“That’s what I said!” The churning in my stomach settled as a feeling of validation swept over me.

She leaned forward, causing a lock of auburn hair to slip out of her clip. “Sometimes, the person we actually need closure from is ourselves.”

I didn’t understand what she meant, but something about her words resonated deep within me. I settled into my chair and smiled for the first time since the dance. Maybe therapy wouldn’t be so bad after all.

The hour flew by faster than I anticipated, and I was disappointed when she announced our time was up. But I made an appointment to see her the following week. Rose would be so proud of me.

We mostly talked about my mom and how it felt to be back in Cedar Haven. I touched on the situation with Nate a little toward the end, and she encouraged me to give myself more time. She said I had just ended a serious relationship and the last thing I should do was jump headfirst into another one.

As I walked to my car, I pulled out my phone and turned it on. My heart leapt into my throat when I saw I had a voicemail. I listened, relief washing over me as Nate apologized for not getting back to me sooner. I dialed his number, and butterflies fluttered in my belly when he answered on the first ring. His voice was gruff and cold, but I focused on the fact he was even taking my calls.

“I need to talk to you about the other night,” I began. “Any chance you can come over?” When he didn’t respond, I hurried on. “Or I could go there or meet you somewhere. Please just give me a chance to explain.”

His silence made my heart pound harder, then he heaved a sigh. “You don’t need to explain anything, Lanie. I understood everything when James showed up, and he’s come a long way to see you. You should spend time with him.”

“James is gone,” I blurted out, smacking my forehead as all of my carefully worded arguments floated away. “We broke up Saturday, and he’ll be heading back to California tomorrow.”

The silence returned, but it seemed different, more shocked than angry. I didn’t allow myself to hope it meant he would listen to me.

“Please, Nate,” I said. “Just give me a half hour. I promise not to take up too much of your day.”

Another sigh. “Now is not a really good time.”

Perhaps I had misread the cardinal’s visit. Maybe it had come to comfort me, knowing that I’d lost my shot at a second chance with Nate. My breath hitched in my throat, and before I could stop it, my eyes swam with tears.

“Are you… Are you crying?” Nate asked, his voice softer.

“No,” I lied, but then I sniffled, giving myself away.

“It’s not that I don’t want to see you. It’s just, um, how do you feel about cats?”

Well, that was unexpected. I frowned. “Cats? Um, half my family is allergic to them, but I don’t mind them. Why?”

He huffed a laugh. “It’s a long story, but I can show you when you get here if you want to come over.”

A grin split my face, and I was so relieved he was willing to talk to me that I brushed off his strange question. “Thank you, Nate. I’ll be there in a few!”

On the drive over, I rehearsed my speech, making sure I went over the points I wanted to make to help him understand how I felt about him. And I hoped that in the course of our heart-to-heart, he would finally tell me about making peace with my mom.

When I arrived at his house, Nate nudged open the door, and I peeked in at the large dog he held back. He motioned me in and shut the door behind me, keeping a firm grip on the dog’s collar.

“Sorry about him,” Nate said as he led me into the living room. “We don’t get visitors often, and Lucky tends to go a little crazy with new people.”

“I didn’t know you had a dog.” I leaned down to stroke Lucky’s head. He licked my face and let out an excited bark. His tail thumped heavily on the floor. “What kind of dog is he?”

“A mutt.” Nate ran an affectionate hand over Lucky’s back. “He’s a mix of sheltie, golden retriever, and lab.”

I could definitely see the lab in the dark fur and the shape of his face. “Why did you ask me about cats if you have a dog?”

Nate’s expression changed, and he released Lucky, taking my hand instead. “Follow me.”

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