Page 37 of When Cardinals Appear

“Did you learn your skills from Max McAllister? He never met a hamburger he couldn’t turn into a hockey puck.”

“I don’t believe I ever had the pleasure of your dad’s, er, culinary experiments.” His mouth twisted as he stumbled over the words, and I laughed again.

“Hmm, that’s right.” I pointed my fork at him. “You only enjoyed my mom’s taco nights.”

“When she set me up to see how many I would eat?” Nate glared at me. “Yeah, I haven’t forgotten that.”

I covered my mouth to hide my giggling, but his answering grin assured me he wasn’t offended. That was what I missed the most since we’d broken up. The joking around, harmless teasing, and playful banter. Nate had always been closed off from the world, aside from a few close friends. But I had discovered a different side of him when we were together. His sense of humor and boisterous laughter warmed my insides.

He scraped his plate, clearly enjoying every last bite, and I hid a smile as warmth blossomed in my chest. I missed cooking. When I was back in Seattle, I’d never found the time to cook for James and me. We usually ordered takeout, as he had never learned to cook for himself.

“Well, since you made this amazing meal, it’s only fair I do the dishes,” he announced as he took his plate and mine to the sink.

“You don’t have to do that.” I stood to stop him.

“Nonsense. I was raised to do my part.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and gently nudged me back into my seat. “Besides, I’m hoping I’ll earn another invite in the future.”

“You can count on it.” My lips curled into a soft smile as I watched him fill the sink and begin washing the dishes. I could get used to this. I blinked at the thought, hoping to dispel it, but instead, a whole different future filled my mind. I pictured coming home to him after a long day at school, him washing the grease and grime off his hands before joining me in the kitchen while I made his favorite meal.

I shook my head, and the image vanished. What was wrong with me? Why had I allowed myself to entertain such a vision of my future? And more importantly, why was Nate in the starring role instead of James? What did that say about me?

“I need some fresh air.” I rushed out of the kitchen, leaving Nate calling after me.

I stepped out onto the front porch, crossing my arms over my chest as the first bite of winter’s chill cut through my thin shirt. Breathing in the crisp air, I closed my eyes. Perhaps it was only natural, being there without my mother to guide me, that I would fall into old habits. Maybe I was making too much out of nothing. So what if I still had feelings for Nate? It wasn’t like I would act on them, especially since I had no evidence he felt the same way about me.

A moment later, the front door opened, and Nate slid in beside me. I could feel his eyes searching my face, and I worked to keep my expression neutral. He slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants and hunched his shoulders.

“It’s freezing out here.”

I nodded, not quite trusting myself to speak. My skin felt tight, my muscles tense at his closeness. It was one thing to admit that I still felt something for him, but it was quite another to have those feelings welling up in my chest while he stood next to me. I shoved them down and turned to him.

“Thanks for cleaning up,” I said, forcing a smile.

“Thanks for dinner.” His brows pulled together. “Are you… okay?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You ran out of the kitchen and have been standing out here in the cold.”

“The house was warm after the oven was on,” I lied. “I needed to cool off a bit.”

“Oh.” His frown deepened as if he could see right through me. “Well, I guess I should go.”

“Wait,” I said, internally cringing. I should let him go. Spending time with him wasn’t helping anything, but I didn’t want to be alone. “Why don’t you stay a minute and have another drink with me?”

He gave me a dubious look but nodded, and a small part of me filled with hope. I squashed that part. We were friends. At least, I hoped we were moving in that direction. And frankly, I needed all the friends I could get.

We went inside and sat on the couch, where we faced each other. A charity was coming to pick up the couch at the end of the week, and I savored the little time I had left with it. It was funny, the things we got attached to when someone we loved passed on. Some tangible items had no real monetary value but possessed such priceless sentiment.

He glanced at me with a teasing grin. “It’s nice to sit here with you without the threat of yellow police tape.”

I threw back my head and laughed so hard I almost spilled my wine. He caught my hand to steady the glass, and my eyes flew open as I met his gaze. The air seemed to surge with an electric intensity. But it didn’t last as my cheeks flushed, and I pulled away.

“I forgot about that,” I murmured. “Mom and her threats.” I gave a weak smile. “You were always a good sport about her antics. The tacos, the police tape.”

Nate shrugged, and I could feel his discomfort growing. I supposed we were approaching one of the many elephants in the room. I stifled a sigh that quickly morphed into a yawn.

“I’m so sorry.” I covered my mouth with my hand.

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