Page 24 of When Cardinals Appear

Hey, Nate here. I need to drop off my contribution as well. Happy to pick you up on the way, Lanie.

I set my phone down and grabbed the mug, gulping down the scalding liquid and instantly regretting it. My throat burned, and for a moment, I thought I might be sick. But I yanked a chair out and slid into it, laying my head on my hands. The nausea passed, and I took another tentative sip of coffee. Still too hot, but the warmth and caffeine helped to wake up my brain.

What should I do? On the one hand, I needed a ride, and Nate’s offer was more than gracious, though I suspected he felt obligated since my car was still in his shop.

On the other hand, my attempts to avoid Nate had so far been unsuccessful, and agreeing to a ride would be the equivalent of admitting defeat. How many more awkward conversations could one person be expected to survive?

I weighed my options. Rose and Steven were both off that day. However, they were planning to visit a caterer for a tasting. While they could likely drop me off on their way, I would be stuck at the school until they were finished, giving the universe ample opportunity to throw Nate in my face again. Perhaps it would be better to accept my fate and meet him willingly. Then I would avoid any surprises like the other day at lunch.

Torn over what to do, I picked up my coffee and stepped to the window. My eyes swept over the backyard, taking in the shortening shadows as the sun rose in the sky. A familiar flash of red caught my attention, and I leaned toward the glass. The little cardinal was back, perched on the railing and staring right at me.

“Am I crazy to see him again?” I asked. The bird flitted closer and settled on a branch right outside the window. I’d never seen a cardinal so close before. The distinctive black dots resembling freckles were clear near its beak, confirming it was the same cardinal I’d seen before.

“It feels like a bad idea,” I continued as the little bird flitted closer to the window.

“Maybe I should say no and take my chances with Steven and Rose.” The bird cocked its head and chirped. Was it my imagination, or was there a hint of disapproval in the bird’s song? Shaking my head, I tried to snap out of it, but something about the tilt of the bird’s head and the way it fluffed its wings was eerily reminiscent of a look Mom used to give me.

Before I could process the resemblance, the bird flew away, and I was left disquieted. I ran a hand over my face. Great, I was talking to birds. Was I going crazy? I returned to the table and drained the last of my coffee. The weird resemblance between the cardinal and Mom meant nothing. My confusion over Nate was causing me to wish my mom was there. That was all. With that justification, I rinsed out the mug in the sink.

As I picked up my phone, Nate’s message stared at me, waiting, mocking. With a sigh, I typed a message back, hoping I wouldn’t live to regret it.

Sounds good. Thanks, Nate.

After confirming what time he would pick me up, I headed upstairs to get ready. About an hour later, I was sitting in the living room, awaiting his arrival and trying to ignore my pounding heart. How ridiculous. It’d been six years since we’d broken up. Shouldn’t I have been over it by then? I’d thought I was, but the memory of the spark I felt when we’d touched haunted me. What was wrong with me?

The doorbell rang, pulling me from my thoughts. I pasted on a smile and opened the door, but one look at him caused the breath to catch in my throat. He wore a black leather jacket and jeans, his dark hair combed neatly back, still damp from a shower. His clothing accentuated his muscles much more than the bulky winter coat he had on the other day, confirming my earlier assessment he had filled out significantly since high school.

“Morning,” he said with a shy smile. His eyes swept quickly over me, and I hated how pleased I was when he raised an appreciative eyebrow.

Nate offered his arm. “Ready?”

As I’ll ever be. I grabbed my bag of donations and accepted his arm, carefully stepping out over the frozen ground.

“Thanks for giving me a ride,” I said as I slid into his car.

“Figured it was the least I could do, since it’s my fault you’re stranded,” he replied with an impish grin.

See? Obligation. Nothing more. Some of the tension in my shoulders eased, but I still had an awkward ride ahead. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He seemed in a much better mood. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“More like Steven’s,” I said with a shrug. “If he or my dad had bothered to drive the car once in a while, it wouldn’t have so many issues.”

“Can’t argue with you there.” Nate put the car into gear and backed down the driveway. As we pulled onto the street, my neighbor, Cassandra, went out to pick up her newspaper. I waved and blinked when Cassandra’s wrinkly face broke into a smile as she waved back.

“Steven and I were convinced she was a witch when we were kids,” I said.

“She’s certainly a character,” Nate agreed. “Whenever she comes to the shop, she brings a homemade gift. Sometimes, it’s cookies, but then others, it’s some sort of satchel filled with herbs to ward off evil spirits, bring good luck, or help find love.” His cheeks flushed at his last comment. “Not sure any of it has worked for me.”

“What? No hot dates?” I teased as Nate’s blush deepened. “I find that hard to believe.”

He glanced at me before turning his attention back to the road. “Believe what you want.” His voice had an edge to it. Maybe I had gone too far. Just what I needed, to make things more uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything,” I murmured.

“Sorry. I know you didn’t.” Nate sighed. “Sore subject.”

I stared at my hands, unsure of what to say. Part of me wanted to ask why he’d called it a sore subject. After all, he broke up with me, not the other way around. While he’d sworn that there was no one else, I’d often wondered if he’d lied to spare my feelings. Though I knew I shouldn’t care, I itched to know if he was involved with anyone. But a huge elephant sat in the car between us, and neither of us wanted to be first to address it. The longer the silence dragged on, the more desperate I became to fill it.

“What made you decide to work at the shop?” I finally asked, praying I’d chosen a safe subject. “You always talked about being a vet.”

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