Page 21 of When Cardinals Appear

“No, Dad, it was my home. Soon, it’ll belong to some stranger. We’ve been over this. My home is on the West Coast, where James and a new job are waiting for me. Why can’t you understand that?”

He took a deep breath and shook his head. “What would your mother say?”

“She’d probably cheer me on,” I practically shouted, throwing my arms up. “She never wanted me to settle.” I opened my mouth to tell him about the promise she’d forced me to make, but then I thought better of it. He would find a way to twist that as well. “And who do you think you are, trying to speak for Mom? You didn’t even know her at the end.”

Dad recoiled as if I’d slapped him, and I regretted my words. I wasn’t being fair, and I knew it, but I’d long tired of having the same stupid argument. While my parents had been divorced for some time when Mom got sick, they had reconciled their friendship before she died. He had helped with transporting her to doctors’ appointments and visited her often during her last months.

Steven stepped forward as if to break Dad and me apart, but Rose put her hand on his shoulder. Her eyes met mine with an unspoken warning. Closing my eyes, I counted down from ten. When I was sure I wouldn’t lash out again, I looked at my father.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my shoulders hunched forward. “I shouldn’t have said that. Can we please drop this? I’m building my life in California, with James. Once we’ve settled Mom’s estate, I’m going, and nothing you do or say is going to convince me otherwise.”

I stared at him, daring him to keep pushing the issue. He blinked first, and the tightness in my chest eased. I’d won the battle, but the war was far from over.

“At least I know you got one thing from me,” Dad said with a wry smile. “My stubbornness.”

I laughed, mostly in shock. “Are you sure? Mom could be pretty stubborn too.”

“So what you’re saying is you got a double dose?” Steven asked with a smirk. He and Rose had come back to the table once the storm had passed.

“All right,” Dad conceded. “I’ll let it go for tonight, but we’re not done having this conversation.”

“We never are, Dad,” I grumbled as I left the kitchen, seeking the sanctuary of my room. I could hear Dad and Steven hashing out details for the next week, and I needed a moment to decompress.

Sometimes, it bothered me that my dad and I weren’t closer, particularly once he was the only parent I had left. But arguments like the one that night reinforced the reason our relationship was strained. He had a very narrow way of viewing the world, and he didn’t like for that view to be challenged. By opting to move to the other side of the country, I was directly challenging it. To him, Cedar Haven was the only place worth living in. That wasn’t to say he didn’t enjoy traveling, but he always said the wonderful thing about traveling was going home at the end. He had expected that once I finished my “travels” at college, I would happily return. My refusal to do so had been a thorn in his side for months, and despite sticking to my guns, I’d yet to make any headway in convincing him to let it go.

Dad left soon after dinner, and I went back downstairs. Rose spent the rest of the evening gushing over her wedding plans and asking for my opinion on everything from the flowers to the food. I welcomed the distraction from all the talk of estate sales and probate court. Before they left, Rose invited me out for drinks the next night, and I readily agreed. Not having a car was starting to get to me.

The next day passed without incident. I begrudgingly started packing up my room. Or at least, I tried to. In truth, I spent more time flipping through old yearbooks or diaries I unearthed than actually packing, but it was the thought that counted. As evening fell, I prepared for a night out with Rose. I spent more time than I had in a while curling my blond locks and staring at myself in the mirror. Sometimes, I struggled to reconcile the changes I saw from the person I was before Mom got sick with the one currently reflected back to me. I’d never been a high-maintenance person, but I used to put more thought and effort into my appearance. While caring for Mom, I was too tired to bother. I always pulled my hair back into a messy bun to keep it out of my face, and I never bothered with makeup. It was strange, almost luxurious, to be sitting in front of the mirror, pampering myself.

At the same time, my skin prickled like I had something more pressing to do. It was a familiar feeling, one that had never fully gone away even after Mom died. Perhaps it would fade with time. Or perhaps the sense of foreboding, that perpetual waiting for the other shoe to drop, was something that would remain with me for the rest of my life.

As I finished applying lip gloss, the doorbell rang. I slid the makeup back into the drawer of the vanity and went to greet Rose. When I opened the door, I stumbled back at the sight of not only my future sister-in-law but a gaggle of my high school friends as well.

“Surprise!” they all cried out, their arms thrown open and their smiles wide.

“What the—“ I gasped. “What are you all doing here?”

“I thought you could use a girls’ night!” Rose exclaimed. “Steven helped me reach out to some old pals. They wanted to see you.”

I surveyed the group, noting they were all dressed to the nines. My hand nervously smoothed the simple black dress I had picked out. Was I underdressed? But there weren’t any upscale restaurants or bars in the tiny town of Cedar Haven. Definitely nothing resembling a night club.

“Well?” Rose pressed, her voice tinged with impatience. “What are you waiting for? Grab your coat and let’s go!” That was followed by a chorus of agreement from the rest of the girls. I laughed and did as instructed.

An unfamiliar minivan sat in the driveway, and as I climbed in, I stifled another laugh at the haphazard attempt to clean up crumbs. Trudy was the only one of my friends who was married and had a kid. I recalled Trudy had said her son—Davey, was it?—had just turned six months old.

Leslie Wilson climbed in beside me as Trudy and Rose took over the front seat. Kristin Donnovan and Toccara Jenson were already buckling up in the back row. When I turned to look at them, they gave hesitant smiles.

“It’s good to see you,” Toccara said, the overhead light from the car highlighting her dark curls. Her deep-crimson coat brought out the reddish undertones in her complexion.

“Seriously, Lanie, it’s been ages!” Kristin piped up beside her. Her rich black braids fell forward as she leaned closer. “How long are you home?”

“Not long, I’m afraid,” I said. “Just long enough to settle my mom’s affairs.”

“Where will you go once that’s done?” Leslie asked, her blue eyes curious as she turned and joined the conversation.

“I have a job waiting for me in California.”

“And a boyfriend as well!” Rose quipped from the front seat. Her sleek black hair was pulled back into a low bun and secured with two sticks.

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