Page 69 of When Cardinals Appear

My teeth worried my lower lip. “I-I haven’t made up my mind yet.”

“Given what’s been going on the last several days, I think it’s best if you take some time away from here,” my father continued, his eyebrows pulling together in a deeper frown. “We’ve been looking at flight options, but your breakup with James complicates things.” His fingers drummed on the table. “I don’t suppose you have somewhere you can stay?”

My pulse hammered in my throat. He wanted me to leave? After conniving to get me to stay, he suddenly couldn’t get rid of me fast enough? But I couldn’t leave right then, not with everything still so up in the air. How could I do that to Nate? Just leave without a word? I closed my eyes and took a calming breath, forcing myself to focus on the present.

“I had planned to book an Airbnb until James and I found a place to stay,” I finally said. “But I don’t want to go.” I glanced at Steven in hopes he would jump in and say he needed me for the estate, but he refused to meet my eye.

“Steven needs me. Don’t you, Steven?” I pressed, trying to force him to engage.

“What I need is for you to get better,” Steven said, his voice strained. When he finally looked at me, the pain in his eyes was like a punch to the gut. “And if that means you need to live on the other side of the country, then so be it.”

I stared at the table. Since I’d returned, I’d told them I couldn’t handle living in Cedar Haven with all the painful memories, and it looked like my family had finally gotten that message just when I wished I could take it back.

When I lifted my head, ready to declare I wasn’t going anywhere, all I saw in their faces were worry and fear. My behavior over the last week had scared them, and they were willing to do whatever they could to help me.

Maybe they had a point. The memories I’d avoided had finally caught up with me, and I couldn’t afford to spend the rest of my life hiding under the covers. Besides, that wasn’t what Mom would have wanted. Regardless of whether I lived her dreams or my own, the point was, I needed to live.

“What about probate court?” I asked meekly.

“I can handle the hearings,” Steven said, waving a dismissive hand. “And anything I need from you can be done remotely at this point.”

My heart squeezed as I thought fast. I needed to buy myself some time.

“I have a therapy appointment tomorrow,” I said, squaring my shoulders and looking them each in the eye. “How about I go to that and talk things over with her? That way, I don’t make any rash decisions I may regret later.”

Steven and Dad looked ready to protest, but Rose nodded. “It’ll be good to have an unbiased perspective on the situation.”

After exchanging glances, my father and brother nodded. I breathed a sigh of relief, though I knew it would be short-lived. The therapy appointment would grant me a reprieve from the intervention, but I’d have to figure out the rest.

My stomach growled, and I glanced at the refrigerator. “Um, is there anything to eat? I’m starving.”

Chapter Fourteen

After my family finished their intervention, I needed to get out of that house. I’d never been more grateful to have my mother’s car. Keys in hand, I headed to the grocery store, hoping to find some things to cook for dinner, since I planned to eat regularly again.

I’d barely stepped into the door when Nate appeared in front of me. Startled, I stumbled back a step, and he caught my arm. The spark of heat that I’d felt every time we’d touched was absent, leaving only an unfamiliar iciness in my veins. I yanked my arm back.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, and his eyes roved over me as if searching for signs of pain. But his exploration would be fruitless. My pain was tucked away deep inside.

“Lanie.” His voice was soft. “I’ve been so worried.”

“I’m fine.” I took another step away from him, and his face fell.

He ran a hand through his hair and stared at the floor. When he raised his gaze back to me, it was filled with questions I didn’t want to answer.

“Look,” I said, trying to sound forceful. “I know we need to talk, but—”

“You don’t need to do anything except take care of you, Lanie.”

The sincerity in his dark-brown eyes caused my insides to melt a little, and I hated myself for it. Part of me wanted to escape his intense stare, but I had my own questions. Maybe it was better to talk then, to rip off the bandage and fully allow myself to bleed out before I put myself back together again.

I steeled myself. “Let’s go sit in my car.” Without waiting for a response, I spun on my heel and headed into the parking lot. The only confirmation I had that he followed me was the sound of his footsteps.

When we reached the car, I unlocked the doors and slid into the driver’s seat. The role reversal wasn’t lost on me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d driven him somewhere.

“Lanie, I—”

I held up a hand. “No, you’ve said enough.” I turned on him, my lips pressed into a hard line. “My turn.”

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