Page 74 of Duchess Material

“What?” Ed wondered.

Patrick and Charlotte ran down the hall on the other side of the door, distracting Natalie for a moment. Rather, Charlotte ran. Patrick chased her. She thought it was a game. He wanted a nap.

“It was my parents’ bedroom. But he’s joking. We were conceived—if you believe my mother’s oversharing or Rita’s corroboration—in an inn in Canada. And given Mum and Dad needed a bit of help in the pregnancy department, I am inclined to believe they knew when and where it all happened.”

“Wait… you lived… here?”

“Yes. We grew up here. I was just two doors that way. Nat was next door. Hmm… I wonder if the porn I shoved in the small crevice of my walk-in wardrobe sliding door is still there?”

George trotted off, excited by nostalgia.

“Girl porn? Boy porn?” Natalie called down the hall.

Ed looked overwhelmed.

George answered, “I think boy, but it could have been either. I doubt you ever hid any.”

“No. I never had any such things.”

Natalie and Ed followed George to his old bedroom. Back in the day, it would have been lined of band posters, pictures of models, and polo regalia. In contrast, Natalie’s would have been lined with photos of planes, horses, and the Lionesses. She always got a laugh considering this contrast. No wonder people assumed she was the gay one.

“You have an entire drawer full of sex toys!” George pointed out. “God, what a night that was trying to find your extra tweezers. I thought Lucy would faint.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Ed snickered. “I mean, I know about the vibrators. That’s just Natalie, but—”

“That’s just me? I lived most of my life on a military base. I’m sorry if that’s just me!”

“I’m saying it’s fine. Baby, I’m not taking a shot at you. But, George, go on.”

George filed through his old wardrobe now. Patrick arrived with Charlotte. She immediately took books out of the small corner bookshelf, stacking them neatly.

“George, what are you doing in the closet?”

“Oh, wouldn’t we all like to know?” Natalie giggled.

“Low blow, Lyons. No, no Lucy and I were in Nat’s room one night. She told Lucy she had another pair of tweezers. But Lucy can’t tell her left from her right—”

“Thank God Lucy doesn’t fly,” Patrick interrupted George.

“For real. She gets frightened. I try to get her to calm down, but I think you scarred her, bruv.”

“Nah, not me. I am an excellent pilot. Anyhow, Lucy and I are trying to find these tweezers and we, instead, stumble on Natalie’s… collection. I died laughing because it was so awkward. Meanwhile, Luce closes the drawer, steps back, pretends nothing happened. She walks to the other side of the bed to retrieve the tweezers. All the while, she looks about to expire.”

“You Americans are prudish,” Natalie said.

Patrick patted Ed’s back. “You’ll have to be the judge, Ed. Still coming to stay with us?”

“I will be there.” Ed planned to stay with the boys while in Chicago covering a competition.

“I will try to make it,” Natalie said. “Oh, I miss you already.”

“Barf,” George said flatly. “You may come but don’t carry on too much. I don’t want to hear it.”

“I promise we will be quiet at church mice… at yours. It’s my house so… fuck off?”

“It’s beautiful, Nat,” Ed said. “I am going to be happy to steal beer out of your very large fridge and sleep in that huge bed.”

“Ah-ha!” George pulled out a magazine.

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