Page 72 of Duchess Material

“Stop! Do not take the piss, okay? I’m sensitive about this.”

“What? Why. It is perfectly serviceable. I have zero complaints. Never had and I’m sure I never will,” Winston assured. “Why the insecurity?”

“I worried it was like Medusa.”

“That your pussy is a gorgon?”

“Well, sort of. I mean…”

“There is nothing wrong with it. It has nothing to do with what happened. You are very fun to get off. Has no one ever… done that for you?”

“No, I mean, I’ve had plenty of experience it’s… I was so paranoid I would ruin you,” Lucy winced.

“Ruin me? No, my love, you couldn’t,” Winston assured her.

“Thanks for your patience. Now, want to fuck me?”

Winston chuckled. “I thought you’d never ask.”

14

BAPS

“So, where are we staying?” George asked.

“You can take your old room if you want,” Natalie replied. “I figured Charlotte would land in my old room.”

“No, she’ll sleep with us if the bed is big enough,” Patrick said. “On the road, she never wants to be alone.”

“I don’t know how anyone can sleep like that.”

To Natalie the idea of permanently sharing a bed with any human was a bit off to Natalie. The idea of agreeing to share it with your partner and his tiny child sounded positively awful. How did they ever have sex? Was she not the cutest little cockblock known to man? Natalie’s mind wondered how anyone managed to have sex after one child. She spiralled.

“Pull up! Nat, pull up!”

She looked at George.

“Shut up. Don’t mock me!”

“What is that?” Patrick asked, confused. His eyes remained fixed on Charlotte. Neither he nor George were fully engaged. They were always one eye on the conversation and one eye on the kid. It seemed exhausting.

“It’s the GPWS alert,” George replied.

“Ground Proximity Warning System for the uninitiated,” Natalie said. “He thinks it will break me out of my funk.”

“Well, it worked, sis.”

“It’s a dreadful thing to hear when you’re flying. Annoying, though, if you know what you are doing, and it goes off.”

“Know what you are doing?” Patrick looked at George as if paranoid.

“Don’t worry. She’s the best. I don’t attempt the shit she does. I live a boring life in the cockpit. Not compared to Natty Lite here.”

“Natty Lite?” Patrick snickered. “Oh, he’s an ass, isn’t he?”

“No, no. That’s my handle. Well, I didn’t choose it. We were in California—test pilot course—and there was a Nat Heavy. He was Nate. Lucy fucked him actually… this summer.”

“Whyyyyyyy, Natalie? Whyyyyyyy would you tell me that?” George pulled a face like she’d murdered a puppy there on the spot.

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