Page 11 of Duchess Material

His face dropped for a moment. He sat the spatula down and rushed to hug her.

“Why would I avoid you, Luce?”

Lucy held him tight. His arms around her were comforting.

“Because I’m pretty useless for a bit—”

“Lucy, I love you. I waited years to see you naked. That’s not what I am after. What I want is for you to be okay, alright? Even if we aren’t together, I care about you as a friend, Luce. A lot. I love you. So, you don’t need to worry about me. What will help?”

“Bacon,” Lucy laughed. “And you should attend to yours.”

“Shit! yes!” Winston departed.

Lucy sat at the kitchen island. She was glad the dream wasn’t over. He loved her despite all of this. He was patient. Winston was altogether too good. There had to be something the matter with him, right?

“How do you feel about it?” Winston asked.

“Cramps are bad. Terrible headache,” Lucy groaned.

“I meant emotionally. Are you relieved?”

Lucy was unsure how to answer.

“Um, I dunno. Both relieved and sad.”

“Sad?”

“I had this intense connection with whatever I thought this thing inside me might be,” Lucy admitted. “I wanted to be a mom. Even if like you and I couldn’t be together. I wanted to have what I thought was a baby.”

Lucy was promised happiness and security before, but it went to pot. Lucy was done living on the promises of men. Instead, she was planning to freeze her eggs. Or, rather, she had been.

“Well, they’re going to do the eggs thing, right?” Winston asked.

“They’re supposed to,” Lucy sighed. “Or were. I called it off like an idiot. I can reschedule it. I… I needed some time to figure out what I wanted to do either way.”

Winston nodded.

“And you?”

Winston shrugged. “I didn’t expect it, but I am a little sad. It sounds mad, but if I must have a surprise baby with someone, I hope it is with you. Luce, you’re going to make a great mum someday. I promise. On one hand, I’m relieved. This would have caused you lots of stress. On the other, I could have seen us doing okay.”

Lucy nodded. “Strange, isn’t it? I could have seen it, too.”

“It was all a dream.”

Lucy admitted it probably was. But was it so strange? Lucy and Winston shared household duties like old married people. They were great friends. They traded off on the washing up, shared in cooking, and hosted friends and family together. Lucy knew she found Winston attractive. They’d had fabulous sex. Both wanted children. There were worse options. On the other hand, she was here before with George. Putting all her eggs in one basket—figuratively and literally—bit her in the ass. It left her stranded in a foreign country, having recently applied for citizenship, and with no place to live. She had ended up in a financially precarious situation. She was demoted from possible future queen to average staffer again.

Eventually, she found her feet. She did well. She was grateful for the opportunity to manage Natalie’s staff. She and George were on good terms. His friends and family had not deserted either of them. She was forever indebted to Winston for his kindness. Still, she was guarded. Lucy never had an easy life. She had trouble trusting any man. George had been the last in a long line of men who had not shown up. Winston only knew the half of it.

Lucy was tempted to pull back, but something about Winston made her feel safe. Something about this felt different. She should have wanted to run away, but she didn’t. Lucy looked over at their dogs—their dogs. They waited for a bit of food. These were their babies for now. They raised them together. How could you raise dogs with someone and not acknowledge some sort of domestic success?

Winston delivered Lucy a plate.

“It’s perfect, thanks.” Lucy dug in.

“Glad for it. I wasn’t sure if it would sit with you.”

“No. It’s what I need. You know me all too well.”

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