Page 58 of The English Queen

Mijn Maanstraal,

After referring to her as a moonbeam a couple of weeks before, Louis had taken to refer to Beth as such. It was sweet. Beth didn’t hate it.

I am at a loss today over not making the time to see you. You must hate me for it. I am sorry. It couldn’t be avoided, but I hope you will understand. I hated to burden you with Mama but she’s driving me crazy and feels left out. Also, you had mentioned you were lonely. I figured it might be okay. If not, I apologise in advance. It’s a weird time and I couldn’t send Luc. It would be awkward.

I cannot promise there will be no more interruptions, but I have cleared my schedule for the evening to have a late dinner with you and you alone. My intent is simply to spoil you in more ways than one. I am simply desperate to see you. While you owe me nothing and I would gladly have you in anything at all, nothing would cheer me up more than to see you in something absolutely devastating. I’d like to unwrap you with all of the excitement of a child on Christmas. I don’t promise restraint. I have none by this point.

I curse the government for putting me in this position. Fucking politicians. I love you.

Yours,

L

She couldn’t be too cross at this point. Beth was ready to spend her capital to have him all to herself for the first time in ages. And, given their Christmas schedule from hell, she would not waste time. If Louis was willing to do as she told him, she was going to tell him exactly what she wanted and not apologise.

“Why can he not phone you?” Elise wondered.

“He hates the phone. Sometimes, I wonder if he is a bit Amish. He is far more articulate on paper. I pale in comparison.”

“He has always been a silly romantic. And that girl, Phillipa, took advantage of his tender heart. I am grateful you don’t.”

“He is sweet,” Beth said.

“Have you always thought that?”

“No. We started by him insulting my mother indirectly. I read it as annoying, but he thought I was patently offended. He then took me out to apologise and insulted me yet again before finally ending on good-ish terms. I found him difficult to read. However, the more he wrote to me and the more time we spent together, I fell in love with him. He may get flustered and run out of words in a speech, but he doesn’t struggle on paper. He is lovely on paper.”

“He insulted your mother?”

“He made a joke that probably would have been funny in the company of other royals and if we knew one another well. However, it was not funny in the company of my friends.”

“What was it about?”

“Oh, Mummy not getting on with Vanora. Louis is well aware. Literally anyone in the know is. He was aware mother is a monster-in-law. But it is not something we would share in public.”

“He has a bit of foot-in-mouth disease as did his father,” Elise said.

“No filter. It is… challenging with my family. Brits are the opposite. We will twist ourselves in knots to be kinder in our word choice and are naturally conflict-avoidant. Louis will say what he means which, the more I spent time in Flanders, I realise is normal here. Louis angered my mother because he told her he would propose—as in, he did not ask her for her consent which he did not need. My brother said it was like he had sent her a bomb as a present. Louis, meanwhile, saw it as a defence of my ability to choose. I was an adult. He was an adult. We did not need her consent and he didn’t have to ask for her blessing.”

“He can be very much like that, yes.”

Beth fixed the hem of her skirt, absentmindedly. “His allegiance is to me. Well country, then me. But that’s the way he knows best to show love. It is brutal honesty and such loyalty. Others might interpret it as arrogance or being callous. I know better. It can cause friction. It does most notably with my eldest brother and my mother. I think Robbie is understanding Louis a bit more these days.”

“He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. He is my sweetest child. Watching that girl break his heart was miserable. I felt betrayed. Those events may have coloured my reaction to you, Bethany. I never gave you enough credit. I am sorry.”

Beth nodded, “I appreciate it. All I ask for is respect. For what it’s worth, I am glad to have you with me today. It means a lot.”

Elise smiled and patted Beth on the hands warmly as they arrived at the Cathedral. There, they met the children’s choir and took a tour. Beth played the organ a bit, feeling off by the end of their time, seeing aura in her eyes.

She whispered to a courtier, “I don’t feel well. We need to wrap up.”

It was the first time she felt like this since starting her meds transition. Elise was chatty with the bishop and Beth became nervous and withdrawn. She wanted to climb in the car before anyone could witness the impending seizure she was convinced was on the way. A courtier finally broke in to let them know it was time to go, herding Elise off.

“I’m about to have a seizure,” Beth told Elise as they climbed in the car. “I’m warning you because… it’s going to happen no matter what I do.”

Beth settled next to a protection officer trained to respond to a seizure. They were thankfully speeding towards Brussels by the time Beth lost touch. When she came to, she was told it had only been about 90 seconds and hadn’t been too dramatic. However, she was now feeling characteristic malaise. Elise looked downright frightened.

“I’m really alright,” Beth said. “It can happen. It does not happen often. I promise you, I’m alright.”

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