Page 42 of The English Queen

“I need to go to Wales, but I cannot. I have to be in Leeds tomorrow morning. That’s probably why she left when she did–to prevent me from running after her. I’m worried sick.”

“She needs space. Remember the wedding?”

“Yes, I do. Fuck. I hate this.”

“Well, who has a lot of time on her hands, nothing but money to burn, a desire to meddle, and two children at boarding school?”

“You.”

“You bet your arse! I will leave as soon as I can charter a plane,” Rita declared.

Robbie’s instinct was to fly to Wales. Unfortunately, Robbie was grounded during a regency. He’d given up a lot to play king out of obligation. However, no one had given up more than Vanna. She had given up visiting her family in the States, bonding with their baby effectively, having a social life, and being herself. In so many ways, Vanna gave it her all. And Rita was right, she wouldn’t have cared. She would never complain. All Vanna wanted was to be loved and be a member of the family. His heart broke for her. Vanna deserved so much better than this.

?????

“Darling, I am not leaving,” Rita insisted, banging on Vanna’s bedroom door. “I am full of pregnant rage. I can break this door down.”

She heard Vanna padding to the door.

She cracked it open, “Let’s go down the hall. Paul is still asleep.”

They ducked inside Vanna and Robbie’s private sitting room, leaving Paul to sleep. It was early–about seven.

“How did you even get here?”

“I drove,” Rita replied.

“From… London?”

Rita nodded, “I couldn’t arrange a charter quickly and I like a road trip so, why not?”

“You’re crazy. Why would you—”

“Are you at risk of hurting yourself, Vanora?”

Vanna looked offended. “No.”

“I have to ask because—”

“I know, I know. But it’s not like that.”

“Then tell me what it’s like because I need confirmation. I need to believe you are okay, Vanna. I love you so, so much. Robbie does, too. But he’s giving you space. He knows better. I… I had to make sure you were okay.”

“Robbie’s life is infinitely more complicated with me than without.”

“Vanna, that’s not true. Robbie’s life couldn’t go on without you. I am sure he would be crushed beyond repair,” Rita insisted, hugging Vanna as she sobbed.

It was so hard to listen to her cry like this. Vanna’s heart was broken. She was so tired. Rita knew she was exhausted and run down. It was hard knowing Vanna was flashing back to that bad place with Nate’s parents. Rita knew Vanna like the back of her hand. They’d been through it all together. Vanna was first to show up when Rita found Richard in bed with another woman. Vanna had been first person to take a baby when Rita needed a break, to cook a meal when she was down, and affirm she was worthy. No matter where she had been in her journey to leave a fucked up marriage, Vanna took care of Rita. Even if she did it from afar, Vanna always showed up.

“Robbie must hate me.”

“Robbie loves you. He wants you to be happy. He’s concerned but he loves you immeasurably. What do you want to do? You can’t live in Wales on your own forever.”

“I guess I went into flight mode. I wanted nothing more than to scoop up my babies and run off. I wanted all of them, but I couldn’t bear the thought of uprooting the twins. I just… I feel sick now. I told Maggie—”

“You told her to fuck off and she fucking deserved it. She didn’t even have a thing to say afterwards, either. She just got up and left. She knew she fucked up. She knew.”

“It won’t matter. She will never, ever—”

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