Page 11 of The Loathing

Reese and Killian both apologize to Connie, but she waves it off as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“Now, onto more pressing matters… What the fuck am I going to do with a twenty-one-year-old girl who I need to keep safe?” my eyes bounce round the room as the waitress returns with our food.

* * *

Walking through Central Park with Kaleb and Connie, I enjoy the silence. I am working myself up at the thought of having Amora here with me, part of me regrets ever saying yes to Xavier, but like I said a few months back, if it was Arizona, I would be doing exactly the same. I would give my last breath if it meant saving her. Any dad would.

“Oh shit,” Connie breathes, stopping in her tracks but her fingers are still laced through Kaleb’s hand.

“What?” he asks her, his brows pulling before smoothing out quickly.

“They did tell me they got married,” she gasps, her hand flying to her mouth, “well, Dad did…”

“Oh,” I watch as Kaleb relaxes, his shoulders instantly dropping.

“When I found out that Dad was having a baby with her, he come over you know, to try and work it out with me and that’s when he told me that he was tipsy and they got married.” Her hand that was covering her lips now slowly makes its way up to her forehead, letting her head fall forward. “Shit,” she whispers.

“It’s okay, we will call them when we get home, you can explain…” I watch as Kaleb comforts her, pulling her close to him as his arm wraps round her back, his hand pressed into the small of her back that is covered with an oversized tee, covering most of her bike shorts. “You’ve had so much going on, things are going to get a little lost up there,” he reassures her sweetly, pressing his lips to her forehead. “Come on baby, let’s get you home,” Kaleb glides his lips down then covers hers before he links his fingers back through hers and continues walking.

I want what they have.

An all-consuming love.

One day. One day I’ll find the kind of love that my parents had.

But until then…

CHAPTER SIX

TITUS

TWENTY-ONE YEARS AGO

It had been one week.

One week since Sharon upped and left without a single word. It was pre-meditated. She knew what she was doing. It was all planned. I don’t care about me, I’m a big boy, I’ll lick my wounds for a while and I’ll bounce back, but my daughter now has to grow up without a mother because she decided to leave. The fact that she completely emptied her closet—and later that night I found out that she emptied my bank account—she obviously wanted out.

What I don’t understand is why she wouldn’t tell me. I thought she cared about me, she could have sat me down and explained everything, if not for me, for Arizona.

“Okay, let’s see if her phone pings,” Nate pulled me from my thoughts, I just nodded as I wrapped my fingers round my hot cup of coffee.

Kaleb was bouncing Arizona softly on his knee, trying to occupy her while Keaton made her bottle. She wasn’t in full screaming mode yet, but she would be. As each minute passed, her soft little sobs got that little bit louder.

We last pinged her location outside our house, I was ready to accept we wouldn’t find her, but Nate wouldn’t give up. And it wasn’t until last night when he was sitting in my daughter’s room at three a.m. feeding her that I realized that he wasn’t doing it for me. He was doing it for her. No child should ever grow up without their mother, my only saving grace from this devastation was that Arizona would never remember her. The first few nights after Sharon left were hard. Arizona wanted the comfort from her mom, she needed to inhale her scent and have snuggles but Sharon didn’t want to give it to her. She wanted to run. She wanted to escape this perfect life for some unknown reason. We lived in Long Island, on a beautiful suburban street. We had the white picket fence, the gorgeous yard… everything Sharon wanted, she got.

But now I was alone.

Bringing up a baby with my three best friends. If it wasn’t for these guys, I wouldn’t have gotten through this week.

But I did.

Because of them.

* * *

PRESENT DAY

I hadn’t seen Arizona; I missed her this morning. I was still sleeping when she crawled through the door. She works until her hours are up, then she comes home and crashes. I miss spending time with her, but I love watching her chase her dream. She always wanted to be a doctor, I remember when she was a toddler I had to get her a little doctor’s coat made and she wore it until it fell apart, and once it did, I bought her a new one.

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