Page 98 of The Loathing

“Yeah baby?”

“I want you to be my first; take it from me. I’m not precious about it and I don’t want to go to The Knight Brothers a virgin,” I see a glimmer of tears fleck in her eyes and I can’t even find the words to say. “I’ve not kept it because I want it to be special, I am fully aware that it’s not going to be like that, but I am sick of having it hover over me and I am begging you, don’t let it be them that take it.”

“Okay,” I whisper, hovering my lips over hers.

“You promise?” and I can hear the desperation in her voice.

“I promise, Twilight, I promise.”

And I swore silently, that no matter how much I didn’t want to have to take her innocence just to give her away, we both knew it was inevitable.

“But not like this…” I whisper before covering her lips with mine once more.

CHAPTER THIRTY

AMORA

I wake, tangled in the sheets and I am fully aware that I am not alone. Rolling, I see Titus still fully clothed and sleeping on top of the covers. A small smile graces my lips and I feel a humongous weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I’ve asked a lot of him, and I have no idea whether he agreed just to pacify me or whether he actually wanted to keep his promise.

I am hoping it was the latter.

Because I couldn’t think of a better time to lose it.

Finally.

The heavy weight of my innocence gone.

Forever.

I know most girls want it to be special, candles and slow love making, but that isn’t me. I have been ready since I was seventeen when I went to prom, but it didn’t happen. And every other time it has even come close, daddy dearest fucks it up. And if it isn’t father, it’s Xander.

Father’s little arse licker.

This is my chance.

Rolling on my back, my heart begins to drum about what may or may not happen.

Turning my face to look out the window, the blinds are half slated and I can see the threat of the moonlight peeking through. I sit up slowly, careful not to wake Titus and I am grateful I don’t feel too unwell after a night of drinking. My cheeks pinch crimson when I think back to what happened last night after my admission, after he laid his body on top of me and showed me just how good his kisses were.

Pushing open the blinds slightly, the star kissed skies are lightening slightly and it must be early hours of the morning. It won’t be long until the pink skies dominate the horizon and the sun peeps up to say good morning. Letting the blinds slip back to their position, I spin and lean against the windowsill and just focus on Titus.

My mind drifts back to last night once more, the way his stubble scratched against my skin, the way his lips trailed down my jaw and along to my collarbone. I placed my hands either side of his face and lifted his lips back towards mine, sealing them when my hips lifted, gyrating slowly against his evident bulge, the fly of his jeans rubbing just where it needed to, giving me the small bit of friction that I craved and so desperately wanted. I knew it was bad, alcohol was pumping through both of our veins, yet we couldn’t seem to stop even if we wanted to. My soft whimpers escaped and vibrated through our kiss as I continued trying to rub myself against him.

“Baby,” he panted, his large hand wrapping round my slim hip, gripping tightly. “Not here, not like this,” his earlier words slip past his lips and echo round the silent room.

“Okay, okay,” I whisper, lifting my head up to meet his lips once more.

I rub my hand over my chest, trying to calm my erratic heart at my thoughts. We were like two horny teens, but I wasn’t even ashamed of my behaviour last night.

Tiptoeing quietly over towards the hallway and into the bathroom, I closed the door quietly and pressed my back against the wood.

Was I really going to do this? My thoughts ricocheted round my mind and I tried to shut them down. I needed out of my head. This wasn’t a big deal. I wanted this. I asked him to take it from me. Washing my burning cheeks with cool water. I had no idea why Titus had this kind of effect on me. He was like a drug, my constant craving as well as my withdrawal. Running my toothbrush under the water, I stare back at my reflection. I like how I look when I am with Titus, and it kills me inside a little that I’ll be without him soon.

We both knew this wasn’t a permanent fixture, but a temporary one until my father found us.

He was like a bloodhound.

He would always find me.

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