Page 93 of The Loathing

“What?” Titus edges closer, his breath on my face and my breath catches in the back of my throat. I ignore the want to look at him, to lose myself in his crystal blue eyes.

“That I am going to lose myself, like I’ll be a complete shadow of myself just fulfilling a role.”

Titus reaches up and tucks a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and my breath begins to fasten, I don’t miss the uneven heart beats that skip deep within in my chest.

“I want to promise that you won’t feel that way, I want to promise that I’ll be there to make sure you don’t become a former version of yourself…” he pauses, and I don’t miss the sharp inhale that he takes in, “but I won’t promise something I cannot keep.”

I swallow the lump that has formed quickly in my throat, willing for it to go because when I feel the burning presence of it, I know tears shortly follow and I hate being that girl. I hate crying.

“Hey, hey,” his hand cups my face and I lean into his hold, the blaze that warms my cheek is addicting, my stomach knotting as I feel a burn in my lower stomach and a persistent ache between my legs. It’s too much.

I stand quickly, “More drinks?” I rush out, grabbing the still nearly full glass from Titus and disappearing into the kitchen. My chest rises and falls quickly, my heart skipping beats as it races inside. Placing the glasses on the marbled worktop, I push my palms flat on the cool surface and let my head fall forward. Inhaling deeply, I try and calm the thumping heart in my chest.

“Amora,” I hear Titus’ deep voice float through the room, smothering my skin in goosebumps in an instant.

I spin quickly, plastering a wide smile across my face. Curling my fingers round the worktop behind me to steady myself.

“Yeah?”

“All okay?” he leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms across his chest as his eyes rake up and down my body. I am still wearing my cotton sundress and I can’t help but let the heat of his gaze make my cheeks burn.

“Fine, I just needed a minute.” I lick my lips and suddenly I am breathless.

“Did I do something to upset you?” he asks, and I can’t help but stare at him. He really is something special. Muscular, broad, tall and handsome as hell.

“No, god no,” I breathe out, shaking my head from side to side as he begins walking towards me.

My breath catches at the back of my throat as the gap between us is now nothing but a couple of centimetres.

Titus’ head tilts to the side but I let my face drop, I don’t know why but the intimacy just feels too much even if we were just having a conversation about our dreams. His finger presses into the bottom of my chin as he lifts my face slowly to look up at him.

“You’re worrying me,” his voice is low as he admits.

“Things just got a little…” I pause, licking my lips as I mull over my words for a moment.

“Serious?” one side of his mouth lifts, causing a lopsided smirk to play across his lips and I nod. “Then let’s just pause the conversation where we left it, drink margaritas and worry about all the serious tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I smile and he lets his finger drop from my chin and reaches behind me for his drink, passing me mine as he steps back.

I thank him as I take it and bring the thin rimmed glass to my lips and take a small mouthful, the whole time our eyes are pinned to one another.

“How about a couple of tequila shots?” I ask as I pull the glass away and lick the salt from my lips slowly.

“Really?”

“Come on, let’s forget the shit show that is my life and lets just get drunk,” I shrug my shoulders up, “who knows how long we have until my father finds us.”

Titus nods slowly.

“Let’s do shots.”

“Shots!” I shout before giggles bubble inside of me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

XAVIER

I pace up and down. Rage is coursing through my blood and I can’t calm myself no matter what I do. Royal is still ignoring me. Ezekiel is upset with me and Xander is by my side like a loyal fucking lap dog.

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