Page 86 of The Loathing

“Here,” she pushes the mug into my hand, and I pull from my thoughts, clearing my throat as I follow her into the living area.

“How did you sleep?” I ask, trying to keep my mind from drifting back to my earlier thoughts.

“Not great,” she shrugs her shoulders lifting slightly.

“No?”

She shakes her head from side to side, bringing both her legs up so her knees are near her chest and I have to try my hardest not to let my eyes drift down her body.

“Guilt has consumed me.”

“Amora,” my voice is quiet, I hate that she is the one who feels guilty when it should be her father that feels guilty. Not the other way round. “You have nothing to feel guilty for…” I trail off when I feel her eyes lock on mine, I swear the air shifts. The tension thick.

“He is going to be so angry,” she inhales, nibbling on her bottom lip.

“He is, but he will come to realize that I have done this for all the right reasons.”

“Have you though? I mean… if The Knight Brothers don’t get me… then what? Will they come for my mother?” she sighs, “I feel like I’m just delaying the inevitable. This is happening…”

I shake my head in denial.

“Your father knows exactly what he is doing…”

“I’m not worried about what he is doing, they want blood Titus… if they don’t get me…” She swallows and I can see the panic flash across her eyes and my heart twists.

“I promise…” I pause and she just gives a gentle nod.

“I know,” she rubs her lips together and finally pulls her eyes from mine and suddenly I feel like I can breathe again.

* * *

Sitting on the edge of the bed, the morning has just disappeared. I hold my phone up and wait for it to connect. I feel like such a dick staring at my phone with a smile on my face waiting for Arizona to pop up. The phone makes a noise indicating it has connected but I can’t see her.

“Sweetie?” I ask, my eyes searching the black screen.

“Dad, where are you?”

I look round the room, brows pinched before I am locked back on the phone.

“I’m here, sitting in the lodge.”

“I can’t see you…” she pauses, “have you got your camera turned on?”

I search the screen again.

“I think so, this is a new phone, so I have no idea what I am doing.”

I hear her laugh and God do I miss her.

“Let me hang up and call you back, okay?”

“Okay,” I nod as if she can see me and within seconds she is gone.

I inhale deeply and wait, my mind soon wandering to Amora. My phone vibrates in my hand, and I click answer.

There she is.

My beautiful ray of sunshine.

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