Page 65 of The Loathing

“So, your daughter, she’s twenty-one?” Amora gives a small smile as she asks her question, her eyes glistening and I’m unsure if it is from the tears or the sun that is reflecting off the water. “What’s she like?”

“Beautiful, strong willed, a kid genius.” I scoff a laugh, slipping my hands into my pockets so I can’t reach for her like I so desperately want to. “She is in med school, a little earlier than she should be but then again she was always a few years ahead of her peers and graduated very early.”

“She sounds perfect,” Amora nods and sighs, “we haven’t really spoken about your life before me…” she trails off and I don’t miss the harsh swallow, her vein beating under her skin. “Bet you and your wife are proud as punch.” I know exactly what she is thinking and why she purposefully asked that and that’s when her beautiful blue and brown eyes drop from mine, and I instantly miss her gaze.

“Oh, no,” I shake my head from side to side quickly, ripping the band aid off once again on my trauma that I have done so well on pushing as far down as I physically can.

“What?” her brows pinch, her lips parting and her eyes are on mine again making my heart pulse a little faster under my skin.

“There isn’t a wife.”

The top of her nose crinkles a little as she frowns a little deeper, forming fine creases in her forehead.

“There isn’t a mother.”

I swallow, my heart now racing and I swear I can feel beads of sweat sitting on my brow line. I have never, ever opened up about my history with Sharon. I have never cared about anyone enough to open up. But with Amora, I find myself wanting to willingly tell her everything. All of my secrets, all of my past and trauma… I want to give her everything so she can write it on her heart and lock it away.

“So it was…” she blinks a couple of times, her teeth drawing her bottom lip into her mouth.

“Just me and my daughter.” I swallow thickly, the unwanted lump creeping up my throat.

“Oh,” her voice quiet and her eyes fall from mine as she picks her nails.

“I had my friends helping me too, they were amazing and honestly I don’t think I could have gotten through the first few months without them.” I give a small nod, standing a little taller as I look over at the calm water and feel my heart begin to slow just a little.

Amora turns round, breaking her gaze from mine and walks back towards the edge of the wooden dock.

I stand for a moment, ignoring the pull that I feel to follow her. I inhale deeply, the thought of leaving her cripples me. I trust Xavier, I trust that he wouldn’t put his daughter in harms way, but I also don’t trust him. His daughter will always be his priority, along with his family and I get that. I do, because if this was Arizona, I would do whatever needed in a heartbeat to assure her safety. But it’s the shadiness. The secret keeping. We’re on the same team yet I am being kept out of the loop and not only that, being sent back on a plane away from the one woman who seems to have brought me back to life in the short amount of time I have been here.

My phone chimes in my pocket and I see Kaleb’s name flash on the screen. Clicking answer, I lift the phone to my ear and turn on my heel, walking back towards the green lawn.

“Hey,” I breathe down the phone, the intensity of the pull growing the further I walk away as if my body knows it’s not right and I need to be by her side.

“Hey, I just wanted to check in. You’ve been quiet on us,” I hear mutters in the background and I know he is with Nate and Keaton. My brows furrow and I look down at my wrist, turning it to face me and checking the time.

“It’s six thirty in the morning there, why are you all up so early?”

“We went to the gym early this morning with Killian, never again,” I scoff a laugh, I can just visualize Kaleb being bossed around by Killian.

“Glad I missed that,” I smirk, kicking the toe of my sneaker into the grass.

“How is it going over there?”

“Shit,” I sigh, lifting my head and looking over my shoulder to check on Amora who is still staring into the distance.

“Want to elaborate?”

“Xavier is sending me home in two days, apparently my services are not required,” I shrug my shoulders up softly as if Kaleb can see me.

“What?” his voice is low, and I hear a door shut softly in the background.

“Yup.”

“Is Amora safe?”

“I don’t believe so.”

“And you’re leaving?”

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