Page 54 of The Loathing

“It isn’t bad, he is your father… I mean I do get the protectiveness, but I don’t get the hiding things from you.”

I shrug.

“I am just annoyed,” I admit, tilting my head to the side still looking at my painting.

“And rightly so, you’ve had another part of your freedom taken, the life that you once had is slowly slipping from your grasp… trust me, I get it.”

I turn slowly to look at him, his head dipping slightly so he is now looking up at me through his lashes.

“But I do see it from his perspective, he thinks he is doing the right thing… from what I know of your father and trust me, it isn’t a lot… he is a very head strong and stubborn man. If he wants something, he doesn’t care what he does to get it and if that means upsetting you then…”

I nod, swallowing the burn in my throat away.

“This is not how I expected to be spending my days…”

“I know, but it’s just for a short while,” I feel his hand on my shoulder as he gives me a reassuring squeeze, “and before you know it I’ll be back on a plane to New York and getting on with my life too…”

“Do you miss home?” I ask, trying to change the subject because I don’t want to cry again.

“I do, every single minute of every single day,” Titus nods before letting his head hang, his feet shuffling along the tiled floors, his eyes pinned to the floor.

“Well, I’m hoping you get to go home sooner rather than later.”

“Let’s not hope it’s too soon… you owe me a date in London,” his head lifts as he throws me a soft wink and a smirk.

“Erm,” I furrow my brow, rubbing my hand up and down my bare arm, “I don’t think I called it a date.”

“Oh,” he seems taken aback, his voice a little higher than usual, “then what is it?” he sits tall, crossing his leg over the other and then linking his hand over the front of his leg.

“It’s just a day out…”

“Shit, have I read this wrong?” he re-composes himself and suddenly I feel awful, my stomach flipping and my cheeks burn with humiliation.

“I mean…”

I link my fingers together and look down into my lap.

“Amora, love, I’m playing,” his large hand slips across onto my thigh as he gives it a gentle but playful squeeze and I ignore the burning want for him to move his hand a little higher.

Oh my god what is wrong with me.

I let out an exaggerated giggle. “Got you,” I double over, holding my stomach as I continue with this piss poor attempt at a laugh. “The messer become the messee.”

“Hey,” he sits back, a slight laugh bubbling out of him, “now that isn’t fair.”

“You should have seen your face,” I try and calm my breathing whilst my heart is jack hammering in my chest.

“I’ll get you back,” and I can’t help but hear the tease in his tone.

I ignore it.

I must ignore it.

I have never been like this before.

I need sleep.

And a wine or two.

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